You Gotta Have Balls

A Brooklyn kid hustles his way to the top of a sports marketing and memorabilia empire Brandon Steiner went from a kid who sat in the nosebleed seats at Yankee and Shea Stadiums to CEO of Steiner Sports Marketing Inc., one of the largest sports marketing and memorabilia companies in the United States, with an inventory of more than 10,000 collectibles. You Gotta Have Balls details Steiner's multiple entrepreneurial adventures, where he has both learned and taught others his fair share of "rules." Along the way, he developed some of the most innovative approaches to business—methods that many of today's companies would be wise to observe and employ themselves. You Gotta Have Balls follows Steiner on his pathway to success by demonstrating the business philosophies that allowed him to become the powerful magnate that he is. These ideals include: First to market is everything Ask "What Else?" when working with clients to enhance relationships and elicit more business Don't expand just for the sake of expanding; do it in areas and industries where your passion lies How to train employees while they're in the minor leagues to prepare them for the majors Learn to clearly identify ways to help others rather than sell to them, to align employees and partners with their strengths, and to discover a path where you're most likely to succeed.

"Men have more straightforward relationships. They don't hang up phones in a huff with each other. They don't feud and not speak for months over insignificant issues. Men don't weep at something another man says. Or hate them for years because of it... " Ruth Rothwax runs a successful letter-writing business and has just branched out into a new greeting card line. She likes women, but she doesn't like the way they can be so competitive with each other. She's thinking of starting a group for smart women to encourage and care about each other, so they'll collectively gain more power for themselves and others. And Ruth's always believed she practises what she preaches. But Ruth's about to meet the woman who will turn her assumptions of sisterly solidarity on their head-a buxom sixty-something with one eye for business and another for Ruth's father... You Gotta Have Balls is Lily Brett's funniest novel to date, and demonstrates in laugh-out-loud prose a writer whose brilliance for tragedy is rivalled only by her genius for comedy.

In You?ve Got to Have Balls to Make It in This League Pam Postema reveals with frank language and uncompromising candor what it was like being an umpire in professional baseball. For thirteen seasons, from 1977 until her unconditional release in 1989, Postema umpired more than two thousand baseball games, making national news as she worked in various minor leagues as high as level AAA?one step below the majors. She also called many major league spring training games as well as the Hall of Fame game in 1988 between the Yankees and the Braves. ø Postema?s story is one of grit and determination to succeed in a profession dominated by men, but it is also an intimate look at umpiring. Postema discusses the mindset behind making a proper call, the weeks of intensive training, ejecting problem players and managers, and the chaos mixed with the monotony of being on the road most of the year. Throughout, Postema relates her encounters with major league stars when they were just up-and-comers in the minors.

"For Chris Edwards, the decision to transition from female to male was black and white. The question was, did he have the balls to do it? Did he have the balls to come out at a company board meeting made up of white, middle-aged executives? To endure 28 painful and extensive surgeries? Show up at his 10-year high school reunion? Date a member of the Nashville Bikini Team? The answer is yes--yes, he did"--Publisher's website.

Nobody ever reads this part of the book. Somebody at the publishing house explained to me that it's actually called the book flap. That sounded dirty, so I giggled for three hours. But it says in my contract that I have to write something over here in this tiny space, even though I don't think anyone will notice. Some people might open up to the middle of the book and start flipping through pages, but nobody will read this part. In fact, I'll bet anything that you're not reading this part now. And if it turns out that you are . . . well, the guy in the bookstore is probably staring at you, saying, "Stop reading that book!" I guess there's a reason bookstores are going out of business, left and right. Cheap fucks like you think it's okay to stand in the aisles and read to your heart's content. So for the sake of bookstores everywhere, buy this fucking book. I myself don't care. I only care about the poor working man. Oh, and the sanctity of the written word. I care about that, too. And in my case, those written words, of course, include fuck, dick, and pussy. In the early 1970s, as our nation's youth railed against every conceivable societal norm, a funny-looking teenage Jew started turning up at open mike nights in various New York City comedy clubs. Surprisingly, he didn't suck. That funny-looking teenage Jew is now the even funnier-looking middle-aged comedian Gilbert Gottfried, who despite his transparent shortcomings has managed to carve out a hardly-respectable career—and a reputation for shock and awe unrivaled outside the Bush administration. With this scathingly funny book of rants and musings, Gottfried sullies an entirely new medium with his dysfunctional worldview. HILARIOUS HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE: • Gut-wrenching stories from his bizarre childhood • A list of celebrities Gilbert would like to have sex with • A somewhat shorter list of celebrities who would like to have sex with Gilbert • An even shorter list of Gilbert's comely co-stars who have been forced to have sex with him on- screen • Side-splitting tales of the worst gigs he's ever performed • Incredibly awkward encounters with famous people from Gilbert's years as a celebrity (of sorts), including Harrison Ford, Keifer Sutherland, Hugh Hefner and one wildly offensive exchange with Marlee Matlin that left the actress speechless • Signature takes on timeless jokes, presented in a clip‘n save format so humorless readers can commit them to memory or tear them from the book's spine and carry them around in their wallets to amuse their friends • The story behind Gilbert's infamous retelling of the classic "Aristocrats" routine that defined the most recent phase of his career • And much more!

Ruth Rothwax had no trouble composing letters for others, but is at a loss for words when she attempts to confront her parents horrific past--and her own possible future. Print features.

Jon Hart is not a professional athlete. His one major sports victory is a world championship in roller basketball, which is basketball on in-line skates. More than ten years ago, he started pursuing his own bucket list and embarked on a hilarious and insightful journey into the furthest reaches of the sports world.

It hasn't been easy for Ruth Rothwax, the proprietor of a successful letter-writing business, to branch out into a new greeting-card line. Her father, Edek, is driving her crazy at the office. Other women, who she thought would be supportive, are being catty and competitive, behavior Ruth swears that she will never imitate. But then Zofia arrives to turn Ruth's aspirations of sisterly solidarity—and her life—upside down. Fresh off the plane from Poland—a buxom, sixty-something femme fatale with a talent for making meatballs—Zofia wants to open a restaurant. And Edek, Zofia's most passionate admirer, wants his daughter to finance the enterprise. But Ruth knows that gleam in Zofia's eye only too well . . . and she knows it means big trouble for all of them.

Some might think Jay was cheated. By his mother, who walked out when he was 9. By his dad, who took a job a couple thousand miles away and let him stay above a bar in a one-room apartment. By the basketball coach, who saw his talent but chose youth over determination. And even Jay’s not sure whether this last year of high school in the small town of Sturbridge, Pennsylvania, will add up to anything. But just when senior year seems a waste–kissing the wrong girls, offending the right ones, playing basketball on a church league with other “rejects”–life begins to click again. The church league gives him some of the best basketball he’s ever played, and the right girl gives him a second chance. Jay may not know what he wants next out of life, but he’s beginning to get a clue about how to play the game.