When Pleasing You Is Killing Me

While people pleasers can be some of the nicest people you'll meet, they have an uncanny knack for finding themselves in relationships with controllers. Knowing how pleasers are motivated by duty and obligation, the controllers will persuade, cajole, argue, and convince, knowing they can erode the resolve of the pleaser rather quickly. This, of course, leaves the pleaser with residual feelings of hurt, anxiety, and resentment. Because pleasers are not as skilled in the art of coercion as the controller, they can collapse in feelings of futility. In the book, When Pleasing You Is Killing Me, Dr. Les Carter explains how the pleaser can become freed from futility by choosing to stay out of the controller's power games altogether. Drawing upon decades of counseling with a wide array of frustrated nice people, Dr. Carter gives sound direction to those seeking to reclaim their true selves. Relationship boundaries are explained, assertiveness is taught, and insights are offered as the reader is guided into a paradigm shift regarding the ways to respond to a controller.

Those who are in the unenviable position of living or working with a narcissist have learned by sad trial and error that they are the only one in the relationship who can change the dynamic. Certainly narcissists don’t think they need to change. Enough About You, Let’s Talk About Me is a hands-on resource for helping colleagues, families, and spouses deal with people who exhibit narcissistic tendencies by learning how to change their own attitudes and responses.

Grace and Divorce, written by noted author and psychotherapist, Dr. Les Carter, provides sound theological thinking on divorce and wise and compassionate suggestions for reframing and deepening our understanding of this difficult and controversial topic. Using stories from his practice as a therapist, Dr. Carter offers healing to both those who divorce and those who know and love them. He explains that Jesus never intended us to be so fixed about right and wrong and so judgmental that we lose the ability to love those who do not meet His perfect standards. With kindness and love, he shows that the wonderful gift of God’s grace is the best way to respond to people facing this trying life challenge.

This authoritative manual provides valuable insights for turning conflicts inthe workplace into productive working relationships.

You're looking across the dinner table at your partner. The thought comes into your mind: Is this it? Is this what life for us is going to be like forever? You've lost your appetite. You're not sure if the questions are valid or not, but they come anyway. If this is true for you, Fixing You is Killing Me is a must-read. Stuart Motola knows the landscape. He lived it in a twenty-year marriage and has consistently guided his coaching clients to a positive resolution. He can help you navigate a relationship that has flatlined back to a life of freedom, high energy, and fulfillment. In Fixing You is Killing Me, he pulls no punches, opens his heart, and shares his wisdom with clarity. Stuart's book delivers on the promise that conscious action will lead you to the authentic, energized life you were born to live. Other insights include how to: - Act courageously when your relationship challenges arise. - Unhook from old unhealthy relational patterns that keep you stuck. - Use relationship struggles to grow, get wiser, and come alive. - Cultivate a relationship with both passion and security. - Know the difference between a love that makes you bigger versus smaller. - Rediscover and cultivate who you seek to be and manifest it in your relationship. - Confront your fear of loss and honor the gifts you've created with your partner when and if change is inevitable.

Stop running. Nothing is chasing you. Thanks to technology, today’s world is more comfortable than ever, but our survival instinct that evolved to protect us from danger is on high alert. Though mild discomforts such as work demands, traffic jams, family conflict, or having to perform under pressure are not life threatening, they can still trigger the brain’s fight or flight fear reaction. And this response can lead to a reliance on drugs, alcohol, overeating, insomnia, phobias, chronic pain, illness, or just losing our temper for no apparent reason. In this eye-opening book, psychologist Dr. Marc Schoen offers practical strategies to tame your overly reactive survival instinct and conquer fear, build resilience, boost decision-making, and improve every aspect of your life.

A practical guide to help executives and managers at all levels adopt a new way of leading in our fast-moving world. In this easy-to-read yet impactful book, leadership expert Dave McKeown dispels many of the leadership mindsets and approaches that are no longer effective in our organizations. In their place, he provides a compelling case for a new kind of leadership focused on achieving the team's common goals and, in doing so, helping them become the best versions of themselves. McKeown outlines the three key steps to help make the transition from Heroic Leadership to Self-Evolved Leadership, and concludes with a comprehensive 15-week program designed to help you evolve your leadership style with the kind of flexible, adaptable best practices that work to deliver results, company-wide. ​This book is ideal for any leader looking to: Stop working in the weeds and think more strategically Build empowerment deep in their team Free up their headspace to be more creative Deliver lasting results for their team and organization

It's time to leave behind the discontent of comparison and discover a free and joyful life. Join Pastor Nona Jones--who was recently featured on GMA3--as she gives you the tools you need to kill comparison once and for all. Nearly all of us deal with the struggle of comparison and finding ourselves lacking. But there is a way to break free from internal and external messages communicating a lack of self-worth. It starts with identifying the basis of your urge to compare and ends with securing your identity to the unchanging confidence of God's love for you. Nona Jones knows this journey all too well. Throughout her life and in her career--most recently as an executive for the world's largest social media company--Nona discovered that despite professional success, true confidence can only be achieved by defeating toxic comparison and securing our identity to God's approval alone. Killing Comparison provides a fresh, biblically rooted perspective on an age-old human dilemma--the pressure to compare oneself to others--that the era of social media has exacerbated and heightened. This timely and necessary guide will help you: Determine your true source of self-worth Develop practical ways to conquer daily comparison Learn how to control social media instead of letting it control you Discover how to accomplish your dreams without comparing yourself at every turn Identify the root cause leading you to compare your life to others Through practical insight and down-to-earth encouragement, Nona helps you avoid the despair of comparison and pursue a free, joyful life.

It's easy to identify rage in people who lose their temper at traffic jams, unruly children, unresponsive coworkers, and unrealistic bosses. But we may not recognize more subtle manifestations of anger, such as being uncomfortable with loose ends, acting impatiently, or being overly critical. That is anger, too. And, as is so often the case, angry folks don't seem to realize that the behavior causing them problems at home or at work actually stems from unrecognized and unresolved pain and emotional injuries from the past. Is all this negative emotion inevitable, or are there choices about how to respond, choices that can improve personal relationships as well as emotional health? The Anger Trap is a landmark book that strips away the myths and misconceptions about anger and reveals how you can learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anger so that you may choose—or help someone else to choose—a better, more spiritually enlightened path. The Anger Trap examines the root causes of anger and can help you realize your patterns and break the destructive cycles of criticism, frustration, and irritation that hurt you and others around you. Drawing insight from timeless spiritual wisdom as well as cutting-edge research, Dr. Carter offers practical techniques to free you from anger, its hidden insecurities, fears, and selfishness and thereby improve the quality of your home and workplace life. The book clearly illustrates how the change process works and The Anger Trap is filled with real-life examples of the ways people have come to terms with their anger by applying the concepts Dr. Carter outlines.