Silly And Stinky Stories My Grandpa Tells

Luke thinks his grandpa is cool because he tells such great stories--like the one about the time Grandpa's mother took splinters out of his butt in front of the whole neighborhood or the time Luke's dad went ice fishing with his own grandpa and had to use the fish bucket for a toilet. All of Grandpa's stories are funny, silly, embarrassing and sometimes gross but always entertaining. The collection of stories in "Silly and Stinky Stories My Grandpa Tells" is drawn from real life experiences that occurred in the author's family--at least for the most part anyway. As Luke records these stories, he explores the differences between his life and the childhood experiences of his father and grandfather, while discovering the trials of becoming a writer.

Kids will love this cumulative and hysterical read-aloud that features a free downloadable song "I was walking down the road and I saw... a donkey, Hee Haw And he only had three legs He was a wonky donkey." Children will be in fits of laughter with this perfect read-aloud tale of an endearing donkey. By the book's final page, readers end up with a spunky hanky-panky cranky stinky-dinky lanky honky-tonky winky wonky donkey Download the free song at www.scholastic.com/wonkydonkey.

Grandpa Farts is just a silly children book to get kids to start to read. Sometime kids need a push to read and a little childish humor about Grandpa farts is all it can really take.

Cutie Patootie loves going to the park with Grandpa. But he always seems so grouchy. Join Cutie and Grandpa in Mary Ellen Wilson's humorous adventure Cutie Patootie and Grandpa Grouchy Pants and learn what happens when Grandpa has to clean Cutie's dirty, stinky diaper. Who knew a day in the park could be so much fun? This is an eLIVE book, meaning each printed copy contains a special code redeemable for the free download of the audio version of the book.

Madcap revisions of familiar fairy tales.

Bibi's Rainbow is a delightfully narrated novel centered around a large Iranian immigrant family and their old, wise and faithful nanny, Bibi, a talented cook armed with inexhaustible secret recipes, who is resolutely determined to ease the transition of four generations of her "family" into American society. Using her wits and miraculous recipes as weapons, she ultimately manages to avert a "Clash of Civilizations" in their Beverly Hills neighborhood, winning over the hearts and souls of her extended family and their neighbors during the tumultuous period between 1979-2008. It is a tale of the long, sometimes tragic, often-hilarious, journey to assimilation.

Sure we'd all love to be able to go around telling stories about all the weird, scary, and just-plain-annoying people that we know. But the truth is, no one likes a gossip. Here, the irrepressible Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith have found a way around that problem-they just make like Aesop and change all the people to animals or food, add a moral to each story, and call the stories fables! With tales like "Little Walrus," in which too much of the truth is a dangerous thing, the cautionary "Slug's Big Moment," wherein Slug is so caught up in herself that she doesn't see the steamroller behind her, and "Straw and Matches," which illustrates quite clearly why you should never play with matches (because they cheat), the eighteen fables in this uproarious collection are sure to delight readers both young and old.

“You’re listening to Delilah.” Delilah, the most listened-to woman on American radio, has distinguished herself as the “Queen of Sappy Love Songs” and America’s ultimate romance guru. But Delilah’s life off-air is all the more extraordinary—a life full of trials, forgiveness, faith, and adventure. In One Heart at a Time, Delilah’s heartfelt account of her own story reveals what shaped the voice that 9 million listeners know and love. Today, Delilah is the founder of an NGO called Point Hope, the owner of a 55-acre working farm, and an inductee of the National Radio Hall of Fame. But to achieve this, she often had to pave her own way. Disowned by her father, divorced, and fired from a dozen jobs over the years, Delilah pushed forward through family addiction and devastating loss, through glass ceilings and red tape. Her consistent goal to help those in need took her everywhere from the streets of Philadelphia to refugee camps in Ghana. Along the way, Delilah was blessed by thirteen children—ten of them adopted. Though many of them contend with special needs and the forever effects of a broken foster care system, her children have been able to transform their own remarkable lessons into guiding lights for other kids in need. Just as Delilah has done. One Heart at a Time exposes the real woman behind the microphone. In her easy-going style and characteristic, beloved voice, Delilah tells her deeply moving life story as the series of miracles it is.

A number of years ago now as one of my grandsons first birthday approached I thought about what to give a one year old. There are a million things that will be played with for a short while then either broken or ignored. I wanted to give something special, something lasting, something that even when older he might still enjoy. Then it struck me, since he likes the silly little stories I tell him upon his request, that maybe I could write some cute little short stories, with a moral as well, just for him (and any of my other grandchildren as well when shared). Thats all it took to get me started. Since then each year I write a little story that somehow relates to something in his life. When another grandchild came along he also was added to the list of recipients of original stories. When I got to thinking about it I decided there may be other grandparents that would like to spend time with their grandchild reading a little story. Now a few years down the pike and I have enough for a book. And so herein I offer my readers a chance to share the joy of time spent reading to a child. That is why my stories were written in the first place. Children go through phases as with my grandchildren there were the dinosaurs, whales, (especially the blue whale), hedge hogs, puppies and gold fish. Im sure you get my drift. All of these fed my imagination and help to produce stories that have a connection and personal touch for both the child and me. These stories are not written for children to read, but rather for a loving adult to sit down with child on their lap or side by side on a shared sofa and be read to. I recommend using funny voices and lots of emphasis and maybe a tickle or two at just the right moment to add flavor and a garnish to each story. The giggles, like sparklers on the 4th of July, will shower joy in all directions and warm the heart of the one reading the story and those close by. Do not be concerned about the content all the stories contained in this book are rated PG - (to be read by Parent or Grandparent). I hope you will enjoy these short stories even more that I did writing them.

Lori Bassel is a testament to the old clich, blondes have more fun. In her collection of lighthearted essays, Bassel, a former Naples, Florida, bartender, pokes fun at her real-life experiences and shares many of the same stories she entertained her loyal customers with during her stints at local clubs. Bassel begins by narrating her hilarious adventures from high schoola time when she and her best friend, Lisa, reveled in tormenting lovers at a local midwestern park. With steamed-over windows, the lovers never saw the girls coming as they hopped on the trunk, dashed over the top of the car, and down the hoodmost likely scaring the couples in the car half to death. From the time she spray painted her boyfriends old Chevy (without his permission) to the time she ran out of gas and had the entire cheerleading squad, dressed in uniform, pushing her truck down North US 41, Bassel shares one laugh-out-loud story after another. Real Blonde Stories is a delightful collection of one womans blonde moments in life, teaching both men and women to find the humor in every day moments.