Its Not You Its What Happened To You

With It's Not You, It's What Happened to You: Complex Trauma and Treatment, Dr. Christine Courtois has simplified her extensive and, until now, quite scholarly work geared toward understanding and developing the concept of "complex trauma," and the assessment and treatment thereof. A universally acknowledged leader in this emerging psychotherapeutic field, Dr. Courtois provides here an abbreviated and easy-to-read explanation of what complex trauma is, how it develops, the ways in which it manifests, and how it can effectively be dealt with. The book opens with an explanation of trauma in general-providing historical perspective, examining the various types of traumatic experience, and looking in-depth at the chronic, repetitive, and layered forms of trauma that often build upon and reinforce one another to create complex trauma. Next Dr. Courtois discusses trauma-driven emotional turmoil, and trauma's effects on memory, self-image, relationships, and even physical wellbeing. She then provides readers with a basic understanding of the ways in which complex trauma is diagnosed and assessed, with an explanation of all common trauma-related diagnoses-including stress disorders (such as PTSD), dissociative reactions and disorders, and frequently co-occurring issues (addictions, self-injury, sleep disorders, etc.) In the book's final section, Dr. Courtois presents rudimentary information about the ways in which complex trauma and related issues can effectively be treated, including brief explanations of all psychotherapeutic methods that might be used. Importantly, she discusses in detail the sequenced, three-stage treatment model she has developed for work with addicted survivors of complex trauma, recognizing that complex trauma and addictions are often interrelated in powerful ways, and unless both issues are addressed simultaneously, the client may not heal from either. Though It's Not You, It's What Happened to You is written for people new to the concept of complex trauma and how it may be affecting them or a loved one, clinicians will also find the work useful, relying on it as a way to bolster their own knowledge and, perhaps more importantly, as a tool for informing their traumatized clients about the degree and nature of the psychotherapeutic work to come.

ONE MILLION COPIES SOLD #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Our earliest experiences shape our lives far down the road, and What Happened to You? provides powerful scientific and emotional insights into the behavioral patterns so many of us struggle to understand. “Through this lens we can build a renewed sense of personal self-worth and ultimately recalibrate our responses to circumstances, situations, and relationships. It is, in other words, the key to reshaping our very lives.”—Oprah Winfrey This book is going to change the way you see your life. Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” Here, Winfrey shares stories from her own past, understanding through experience the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma and adversity at a young age. In conversation throughout the book, she and Dr. Perry focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future—opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.

What if trying to conform to a sick culture is making us sick? It's Not You, It's Everything is an incisive, impertinent, and witty inquiry into the anxious pursuit of happiness. Psychotherapist Eric Minton helps readers rethink everything we thought we knew about God, depression, and culture to find a radical okayness that will set us free.

“Why am I still single?” If you’re single and searching, there’s no end to other people’s explanations, excuses, and criticism explaining why you haven’t found a partner: “You’re too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and you’ll be fine.” “You’re too desperate. If men think you need them, they’ll run scared.” “You’re too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates.” “You have low self-esteem. You can’t love someone else until you’ve learned to love yourself.” “You’re too needy. You can’t be happy in a relationship until you’ve learned to be happy on your own.” Based on one of the most popular Modern Love columns of the last decade, Sara Eckel’s It’s Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that there’s no one reason why you’re single—you just are.

Fascinating patient stories and dynamic exercises help you connect to healing emotions, ease anxiety and depression, and discover your authentic self. Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment through an empathic and effective therapeutic approach that draws on the latest science about the healing power of our emotions. Whereas conventional therapy encourages patients to talk through past events that may trigger anxiety and depression, accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), the method practiced by Jacobs Hendel and pioneered by Diana Fosha, PhD, teaches us to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, and anxiety) that block core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement). Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear. In It’s Not Always Depression, Jacobs Hendel shares a unique and pragmatic tool called the Change Triangle—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self. In these pages, she teaches lay readers and helping professionals alike • why all emotions—even the most painful—have value. • how to identify emotions and the defenses we put up against them. • how to get to the root of anxiety—the most common mental illness of our time. • how to have compassion for the child you were and the adult you are. Jacobs Hendel provides navigational tools, body and thought exercises, candid personal anecdotes, and profound insights gleaned from her patients’ remarkable breakthroughs. She shows us how to work the Change Triangle in our everyday lives and chart a deeply personal, powerful, and hopeful course to psychological well-being and emotional engagement.

Shows how to cope with, and also how to prosper with change. This book teaches how to: prosper with change; take responsibility for your future; discover your strengths and abilities; know your own inner beauty; empower yourself to take charge; break out of your mental prisons; and find the opportunity in adversity.

A laugh-out-loud look at one girl's epic dating history, as told by her friends, family, and foes! Did you hear...?NATALIE WAGNER, random freshman: Avery Dennis--the Avery Dennis--got dumped right before prom.COCO KIM, best friend: Avery has never been dumped! Well, okay, except for this one time.BIZZY STANHOPE, officially the worst: The head of the prom committee doesn't have a date to the prom. It is beyond pathetic. JAMES "HUTCH" HUTCHERSON, lab partner: Did Avery really swear off dating until she discovers why her relationships never work out? I'll believe that when I see it.ROBBY MONROE, ex-boyfriend: Did you get interviewed by Avery Dennis for her project?TRIPP GOMEX-PARKER, ex-boyfriend: Avery Dennis is straight-up interviewing everyone.AVERY DENNIS: recently dumped/topic of much gossip: Okay. Everyone is talking about it, so let's talk about it...From rising star Stephanie Kate Strohm, this is a laugh-out-loud look at one girl's epic dating history, as told by her friends, family, and foes.

A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn’t Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood. As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn’t Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.

Armed with this straight-talking guide to dating without all the pain, women will realize that they are perfect and that bad relationships only happen because men, sadly, are not.

There is more to excelling at work, than just being effective at your job. To survive and thrive, you must also master interaction with your coworkers. In It's Not You It's Your Personality, mother-daughter team, Diane Hamilton and Toni Rothpletz, explore personality assesments including in the workplace. Find out: Why this is the essential guide for the anyone in the post-baby boomer workforce What makes the current younger workforce unique How to understand new generation personality issues How to recognize different personalities and their individual needs Why understanding different character types can make you more tolerant of others How to work together more effectively, no matter the scenario How to recognize your own personality issues for better interpersonal relationships How to utilize personality assessment to climb the ladder of success Filled with tips, tricks and techniques, the authors cover all the major personality tests, giving examples of modern day celebrity personalities to send their point home. Written in a lighthearted yet professional manner, The Young Adult's Guide to Understanding Personalities outlines various scenarios with different personalities to give you a more detailed look at how different people can more effectively work together, both in team situations, and when various activities require them to better understand one another. You'll learn how to recognize character traits in others, as well as in yourself, and what to do about the traits that need work. Entertaining as well as educational, The Young Adult's Guide to Understanding Personalities makes personality assessment as essential as having a good briefcase.