Dont Drop The Soap

Meet Candu Waters, a Baltimore man who loves to drop the soap and does anything to reap the rewards of Dropping the Soap.

Maya Mae hates soap. It’s stinky, yucky, ewwy, pewwy and she’ll have nothing to do with it. Maya Mae’s mom thinks she has found the solution. Maya Mae doesn’t smell anymore ... but now the soap keeps disappearing and the rest of the family starts to smell funny too! Don't Eat The Soap is a hilarious take on the bathtime battle that happens in many houses each night around the world......

⚠WARNING!⚠ Strong languege, Crude/Sexual Humor and Adult Situations! In this comedic memoir, you will discover how a young gay boy sentenced to serve jail time survived his stay. In this wonderful book you will also learn heartfult stories about people who were incarcerated. Just because someone made a mistake doesn't mean they are bad people. ♥♥ DON'T KNOW A WORD USED IN THE BOOK? Just scroll to the back of the book and you will find a glossary of words a couple pages before the CROSSWORD AND WORD SEARCH! How many memoirs have you read that has a crossword and word search? "FU#K!!! WHY CAN'T I EVER DO WHAT I'M TOLD!"(c) DEDICATION★This book is for the brave LGBTQ Transgender community who have to fight every day to educate people on Trans awareness. It is also for the many Trans-woman who have lost their lives because they chose to live their truth. Let's make a change and help protect our brothers and sisters. ◆ Sneak Peek! ◆ "After I got my complimentary things, I was escorted to my cell block. On the way up to my cell block, in my head, I'm thinking, 'Man, I hope I get a sexy ass cellmate!". Walking into the cell block, a few guys were sitting at the tables playing cards or dominos and staring at me. I felt extremely awkward and like I was the closest thing to a woman they have seen in a while. I know I was looking cute as fuck because my eyebrows were on fleek and so was my hair. I did have other plans for the rest of my day, that did not include getting arrested and going to jail. Standing at the front of the room, holding my horseshit welcoming gifts; I felt like I was at an awkward BBQ and the other inmates wanted to fill my light skinned buns with their wieners." ENJOY!!! ♥ Romeo

Do you love funny jokes? This is the perfect gift journal!

Attention, CEOs: Finally, a book you don't have to cook! If you're a CEO who's just been caught, this is the book you won't want to be caught without. Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison is loaded with helpful tips, including: • How to go from "bitch" to "boss" in one week or less • The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Prisoners • Complete prison-slang/corporate-speak glossary • Prison cell feng shui • How to avoid getting back-stabbed -- literally • The Zagat guide to fine prison dining

A unique and edgy cookbook, Prison Ramen takes readers behind bars with more than 65 ramen recipes and stories of prison life from the inmate/cooks who devised them, including celebrities like Slash from Guns n’ Roses and the actor Shia LaBeouf. Instant ramen is a ubiquitous food, beloved by anyone looking for a cheap, tasty bite—including prisoners, who buy it at the commissary and use it as the building block for all sorts of meals. Think of this as a unique cookbook of ramen hacks. Here’s Ramen Goulash. Black Bean Ramen. Onion Tortilla Ramen Soup. The Jailhouse Hole Burrito. Orange Porkies—chili ramen plus white rice plus ½ bag of pork skins plus orange-flavored punch. Ramen Nuggets. Slash’s J-Walking Ramen (with scallions, Sriracha hot sauce, and minced pork). Coauthors Gustavo “Goose” Alvarez and Clifton Collins Jr. are childhood friends—one an ex-con, now free and living in Mexico, and the other a highly successful Hollywood character actor who’s enlisted friends and celebrities to contribute their recipes and stories. Forget flowery writing about precious, organic ingredients—these stories are a first-person, firsthand look inside prison life, a scared-straight reality to complement the offbeat recipes.

"With eight sections of engaging visuals, real-life stories, recipes, workouts, slang, and life hacks, Don’t Drop The Soap is a crazy, entertaining, hilarious and dangerous ride that teaches you all of the wild $#*! about prison, you can’t learn on Netflix!"--Amazon.com

Includes plastic insert with equivalent measurements and metric conversions.

TIME Magazine’s Top Ten Children’s Books of 2015 "Tiny Cooper stole our hearts." —Entertainment Weekly Especially for those of us who ordinarily feel ignored, a spotlight is a circle of magic, with the strength to draw us from the darkness of our everyday lives. Watch out, ex-boyfriends, and get out of the way, homophobic coaches. Tiny Cooper has something to say—and he’s going to say it in song. Filled with honesty, humor, and “big, lively, belty” musical numbers, Hold Me Closer is the no-holds-barred (and many-bars-held) entirety of the beloved musical first introduced in Will Grayson, Will Grayson, the award-winning bestseller by John Green and David Levithan. Tiny Cooper is finally taking center stage . . . and the world will never be the same again. “Tiny will have readers falling out of their chairs laughing. . . . It's big. It's gay. It's outrageous and hilarious.” —Kirkus Reviews ★"Levithan has turned in another star turn with a book that is witty, wise, and well worthy of an encore." —Booklist, starred review ★"Tiny’s passion for composing a big, beautiful life and a big, beautiful show overflows in thisthoroughly magical book.” —BCCB, starred review ★"Tiny Cooper . . . gets his own star turn." —Publishers Weekly, starred review

A red-hot apocalyptic thriller from a writer “penning stories pumped with enough adrenaline that you’ll suffer from insomnia until you read the last word” (Jeremy Robinson, New York Times–bestselling author). A nearly forgotten bunker in the frozen wastes of Alaska is hiding a weapon that could end the world. And only Marcus Johnson and his team can keep it from falling into the worst possible hands. Retired Marine Master Sergeant Marcus “Mojo” Johnson—back on his family homestead in rural Alaska after twenty years of chasing bad men—enlists an elite team of combat veterans and personal friends to intercept the enemy before it releases a decades-old secret that can’t be destroy and was never meant to be found. And it all plays out in the brutal, beautiful Alaskan wilderness, in sub-zero temperatures where human flesh freezes in mere minutes. The chase is on, and only Mojo and his allies can stop the apocalypse before it begins. Praise for Basil Sands and his thrillers “Basil Sands’s Ice Hammer is a gripping, can’t-put-it-down series that works at every level. It’s got it all: love, war, treachery, and heroism. A home run!” —John Gilstrap, New York Times–bestselling author “Sands is fearless in his storytelling, and tireless in his quest to connect directly with his audience.” —Scott Sigler, #1 New York Times–bestselling author “Basil Sands has a knack for blending action and intrigue in an all-too realistic setting. In Karl’s Last Flight, the future is reminiscent of our recent past. I just hope there are heroes like Basil’s heroes fighting on our side.” —Evo Terra, founder of Podiobooks.com