Adoption What You Should Know

The White Fragility for transracial adoption--practical tools for nurturing identity, unlearning white saviorism, and fixing the mistakes you don't even know you're making. If you're the white parent of a transracially or internationally adopted child, you may have been told that if you try your best and work your hardest, good intentions and a whole lot of love will be enough to give your child the security, attachment, and nurturing family life they need to thrive. The only problem? It's not true. What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption breaks down the dynamics that frequently fly under the radar of the whitewashed, happily-ever-after adoption stories we hear so often. Written by Melissa Guida-Richards--a transracial, transnational, and late-discovery adoptee--this book unpacks the mistakes you don't even know you're making and gives you the real-life tools to be the best parent you can be, to the child you love more than anything. From original research, personal stories, and interviews with parents and adoptees, you'll learn: What parents wish they'd known before they adopted--and what kids wish their adoptive parents had done differently What white privilege, white saviorism, and toxic positivity are...and how they show up, even when you don't mean it How your child might feel and experience the world differently than you All about microaggressions, labeling, and implicit bias How to help your child connect with their cultural heritage through language, food, music, and clothing The 5 stages of grief for adoptive parents How to start tough conversations, work with defensiveness, and process guilt

From Adoptive Families magazine, the country’s leading resource on adoption, this warm, authoritative book is full of practical, realistic advice from leading attorneys, doctors, social workers, and psychologists, as well as honest, intimate stories from real parents and children. You Can Adopt answers every question–even the ones you’re afraid to ask: • When should I shift from fertility treatment to adoption? • How do I talk to my spouse about adoption? • Can we find a healthy baby? • Do I need an attorney? An adoption agency? • Can the birth mother take the baby back? • How much will this really cost? How long will it take? • Aren’t all adopted children unhappy? • Can I love a child who “isn’t mine”? • How can I ease the rest of my family into this decision? Complete with checklists and worksheets, You Can Adopt will help make your dreams of family come true.

"Birthdays may be difficult for me." "I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family." "When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me." "I am afraid you will abandon me." The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents. Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.

Ever wondered what it's like to be adopted? This anthology begins with personal accounts and then shifts to a bird's eye view on adoption from domestic, intercountry and transracial adoptees who are now adoptee rights activists. Along with adopted people, this collection also includes the voices of mothers and a father from the Baby Scoop Era, a modern-day mother who almost lost her child to adoption, and ends with the experience of an adoption investigator from Against Child Trafficking. These stories are usually abandoned by the very industry that professes to work for the "best interest of children," "child protection," and for families. However, according to adopted people who were scattered across nations as children, these represent typical human rights issues that have been ignored for too long. For many years, adopted people have just dealt with such matters alone, not knowing that all of us—as a community—have a great deal in common.

Why was I abandoned? Why did my parents adopt me? What if I want to meet my biological parents? Children who find out they are adopted have many questions that are difficult for a parent to answer. This book explores children's thoughts and feelings and provides parents with guidance on how to respond to difficult questions. The author covers all the common questions that children ask and provides sensitive, candid answers in a way that children will be able to understand and relate to. Each chapter is devoted to a particular issue, such as why a child is adopted, who chose the child's first name and what happens when the child grows up. The book recognizes the emotions and reactions of everyone in the family and includes separate conclusions for parents and children. This handy guide offers useful advice for parents and will also be of interest to counsellors and other professionals working with children.

A child is coming – whether you approve or not it's time to get with the program! If someone you care about – a family member, co-worker, or close friend – has recently announced that their family will be growing through adoption, you may have questions. After all, unless you have personally experienced adoption, you may know very little about how adoption works and what it means. Are you worried that your loved one may face disappointment? Do you find yourself wondering exactly what your role is going to be in the child's life? Does the term "open adoption" confuse and concern you? Just what are the privacy boundaries for families built by adoption: what is it okay to ask about? Adoption Is a Family Affair! will answer all of these questions and more, offering you information about who can adopt, why people consider adopting, how kids understand adoption as they grow up, and more. This short book is crammed full of the 'need to know' information for friends and families that will help to encourage informed, happy and healthy family relationships.

"Mama," said Barley. "Tell me again how I'm your wish come true."Thus begins this beautiful story for adoptive families. I Wished for You: An Adoption Story follows a conversation between a little bear named Barley and his Mama as they curl up in their favorite cuddle spot and talk about how they became a family. Barley asks Mama the kinds of questions many adopted children have, and Mama lovingly answers them all. With endearing prose and charming watercolor illustrations, I Wished for You is a cozy read that affirms how love is what truly makes a family.

Can't travel yet? Let's go to Korea! In this contemporary tale detailing a two-week trip that explores intercountry adoption from South Korea, twin sisters naively travel to their birth city of Seoul in search of their Korean family. Little incidents along the way serve as a catalyst, leading them into a worldwide modern-day adoptee-rights movement seeking truth and transparency. The intent of this book is to inspire and uplift anyone who has been removed from their birth family to know that there is a community of like-minded individuals who've experienced the same circumstances.

Originally published in 1993, this classic piece of literature on adoption has revolutionised the way people think about adopted children. Nancy Verrier examines the life-long consequences of the 'primal wound' - the wound that is caused when a child is separated from its mother - for adopted people. Her argument is supported by thorough research in pre- and perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding and the effects of loss.

Every Family is Created by God God forms families in many different ways and sizes, but all are equally important and special. When adopted son Calvin needs to tell about his family for a class assignment, he discovers his parents were praying for him long before they chose him. Not only that, but God chose them for Calvin. It wasn't by chance and it wasn't an accident. It was according to His plan. We Chose You was written to communicate to all children, whether birthed or adopted, that they are chosen. That they are secure. That they are loved. This is a message every child needs to hear. Let this book give you the words to tell your child about your family's unique story.