Youre Old Im Old Get Used To It

No-nonsense, wryly self-deprecating, and totally persuasive, You're Old, I'm Old...Get Used to It! unabashedly exalts the virtues of aging. Virginia Ironside wants you to know that getting old is a good thing-and not in that dreadful “sixty is the new forty” way. At sixty-five, she has no interest in pretending to be young and neither should you. Virginia celebrates all the “issues” that she and her fellow oldies embrace, including: • Talking about ailments (and the fabulous meds that come with them) • Grandchildren (the reward you get for not killing your children) • Wisdom (random disorganized knowledge you get to put a fancy label on because you're old)

A collection of whimsically jaded essays on the advantages and indulgences of aging celebrates such topics as grandchildren, mercifully lowered expectations and medical advances in the face of inevitable health challenges.

From the "New York Times"-bestselling authors of "You Are Worthless "and "Just Give Up" comes an even less-inspiring book for those past their prime, with advice from a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor who is one of Dikkers' most hilarious creations.

When she started to clock up the years in earnest, everyone tried not to mention it. But now Virginia Ironsideis actually sixty-five she can't see what all the fuss was about. It's great to be old. Growing ancient is not a loss but a gain. You're more confident, and if your memory's going, at least you forget the bad times, like all those ghastly men you slept with in the other sixties. And isn't now the time to take lots of drugs, and not just the ones prescribed by the doctor (which are, now you're old, completely free)? There's nothing more fun than comparing your various ailments with other oldies ('I take so many fish oils I'm thinking of joining an aquarium'), curtain-twitching, complaining or (Virginia's preference) just mooching about. From Grandchildren ('The reward for not killing your children'), and Being a Bore ('You're in your anecdotage, so nobody can complain') to Sex ('I don't know about you, but I've had enough sex to last me a lifetime'), Virginia Ironsidetackles all the issues that face today's elegant and distinguished oldies with optimism and enthusiasm - and makes you want to cheer!

Join in on the fun (and funny) journey of getting older with this hilarious Dr. Seuss picture book—it’s just what the doctor ordered for new retirees, old souls, and kids at heart--and makes a perfect gift to celebrate birthdays and other milestones!" The Doctor is in...Dr. Seuss that is! Readers will laugh along with the parade of medical madness as an elderly patient is poked, prodded and ogled during his stay at the “Golden Years Clinic on Century Square for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair.” Once again, Dr. Seuss proves that his sharp wit and colorful imagination are a treat for readers of all ages. A perfect gift for retirement, birthdays, graduations, holidays, and anyone needing a little pick-me-up after a doctor’s visit!

There is no bigger issue for healthy infants than sleeping through the night. In this simple, straightforward book, Suzy Giordano presents her amazingly effective “Limited-Crying Solution” that will get any baby to sleep for twelve hours at night—and three hours in the day—by the age of twelve weeks old. Giordano is the mother of five children and one of the most sought-after baby sleep specialists in the country. The Washington Post calls her a baby sleep "guru" and "an underground legend in the Washington area for her ability to teach newborns how to achieve that parenting nirvana: sleeping through the night." Her sleep plan has been tested with singletons, twins, triplets, babies with special needs, and colicky babies—and it has never failed. Whether you are pregnant, first-time parents, or parents who seek a different path with your second or third child, anyone can benefit from the Baby Coach’s popular system of regular feeding times, twelve hours of sleep at night and three hours of sleep during the day, and the peace of mind that comes with taking the parent and child out of a sleep- deprived world.

"Published in 2018 by arrangement with Da Capo Press, a subsidiary of Hachette Book Group, Inc."--Title page verso.

What woman hasn’t looked in the mirror and wondered who was staring back at her? Or marveled at how grown up her children look? Or puzzled at how her friends are aging prematurely? I'm Too Young to Be This Old (with over 150,000 copies sold) shows women how to face their changing lives with a spirit of fun and fearlessness. Poppy Smith leads readers through both the lighter side of midlife and the deeper issues that concern them, including wondering if the best of life is over facing changes in health and appearance maintaining healthy relationships with adult children caring for aging parents getting ready for when they’re really old I’m Too Young to Be This Old is loaded with biblically informed wisdom and ample doses of humor. It will give readers the inspiration and insight they need to turn their middle years into the best years of their life!

In this timely book, Dr. Judith Reichman, star of two acclaimed STRAIGHT TALK PBS specials, speaks frankly on the most pressing health concerns of today's older women. Dr. Reichman discusses contraception, fertility, and pregnancy after 40; menopause; hormone replacement therapy and nonmedical alternatives. She also explains various diseases and how to grow older healthfully.

One bonus of getting older is that it gives us a great perspective on life . . . and that includes plenty of humor! This collection of cartoons, quips, quotes, and insights introduces a new comedy genre: elderhumor. It captures the wry hilarity of our real-life sitcoms. Generational vocabulary gaps, miscommunications, preoccupation with health and comforts, foibles, disguises (for aging), even physical limitations -- all can have their funny sides when we're laughing at ourselves. One bonus of getting older is that it gives us a great perspective on life . . . and that includes plenty of humor! This collection of cartoons, quips, quotes, and insights introduces a new comedy genre: elderhumor. It captures the wry hilarity of our real-life sitcoms. Generational vocabulary gaps, miscommunications, preoccupation with health and comforts, foibles, disguises (for aging), even physical limitations -- all can have their funny sides when we're laughing at ourselves. This book, a light-hearted gift for anyone who's 50-plus, is a memoryjogger too. Remember the Katzenjammer Kids? Jack Armstrong? Apple Mary? Check out your friends' ages by their responses to a "Vanishing Words" test (examples: "spider," "broomstick skirt," "running board," "the shag"). If you're still calling the refrigerator an "icebox," it's a giveaway -- you're probably over 60. What's So Funny about Getting Old? is brought to you by a comedy team of two. Ed Fischer is an award-winning cartoonist. Jane Thomas Noland, author of Laugh It Off (what's so funny about trying to lose weight?) is a books editor and a former Minneapolis Star Tribune feature writer. Both have delicious ways of looking at life. Both, like all the rest of us, are getting older. Laughter heals. Laughter helps. Laughter keeps us in shape emotionally and physically. Read this book and try it. You'll be convinced, as these authors are, that there's only one way to grow older -- with a healthy sense of humor!