You Know Youre Middle Aged When

Do you feel like all your friends are 'getting old and boring', but you are getting younger by the day? Can you be heard saying the phrase '40 is the new 20'? Is your wardrobe on-trend, but for the second time round? It's official, you're in denial. You are middle-aged! You Know You're Middle-Aged When... is a hilarious collection of stories, anecdotes and quotes about other people's mid-life crises, along with tips on how to spot the telltale signs that youth is no longer on your side. Chapters include, You know you're middle aged-when: . You're Too Old to Party . It's Time to Dress Your Age; . You Feel the Need for Speed; . You Hit the Big 4-0. Entertaining and engaging, this book is guaranteed to have any old codger laughing out loud about their own descent into the twilight years.

You Know You've Reached Middle Age If . . . is a requiem to retirement. For boomers celebrating their official entry into middleagedom or those just on the cusp, Joey Green and Alan Corcoran offer hundreds of humorous defining moments that even the youngest at heart can't dispute.

A hilarious book of one-liners illuminating how the middle-aged eat, dress, talk, and behave. Includes such priceless quips as, You know you're middle-aged when you're older than your dentist; . . . you schedule sex; . . . you can still get down and funky--you just can't get up; and more.

The perfect gift for anyone struggling through their middle ages, including the friend who still thinks the 20-something at the next table is staring at them. If you're finding that youth is no longer on your side, it might be time to curl up with this hilarious collection of stories, quotes and quips.

Every 18 seconds another Baby Boomer turns 50 and confronts that dreaded milestone: middle age. But the "Me Generation" seems to be defining middle age based on a projected life span of 120 years. In other words, they're in denial, big time. This lighthearted book will clear up any confusion readers might have about whether they're still young at heart, or if they're being dragged kicking and screaming over the threshold of middle age. It's indisputable that you've reached middle age if . . . * You watch reruns of Leave it to Beaver, The Brady Bunch, or The Wonder Years and you identify with the parents. * You remember when meat, potatoes, and gravy were considered a well-balanced meal. * The only illegal herbs you're interested in smuggling into the country are Cuban cigars. * You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything. * Your computer has more memory than you do. * You remember when TVs had antennas and telephones had cords. You Know You've Reached Middle Age If . . . also includes bonus sections like "What Others Say About Middle Age" (with witty celebrity quotes) and "There's Still Hope," listing notable late bloomers and their accomplishments. A couple of these inspiring tidbits: Daniel Defoe wrote Robinson Crusoe at 59, and at 77 John Glenn orbited the Earth in a space shuttle.This charming and clever look at the mature lifestyle will gently break the news to readers that they're middle aged, and humorously assure them that that's okay.

Never mind the Real Housewives of Orange County—Marla Jo Fisher is the woman everyone can relate to, complete with bad parenting, rotten dogs, ill health, and fashion faux pas. For nearly two decades, in the Orange County Register and many syndicated papers, readers have delighted in Marla Jo’s subversive humor, cranky intellect, and huge heart on her journey through broke, single, after-40 motherhood, when she adopted Cheetah Boy and Curly Girl, to her oddball adventures around the globe, to the sublime ridiculousness of life next door. Even while facing a devastating diagnosis, Fisher teaches us that humor is the balm that eases and the very thing that binds us together.

The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family.

Your back goes out more than you do. You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it. You find yourself repeating things over and over. You find yourself repea... oh, hang on... If this sounds all too familiar, perhaps it's time to grab a cup of cocoa, settle down into your comfiest armchair, and find out whether you really are over the hill or just going round the bend. If your favourite shoes are your slippers, you remember going a day without taking a photo of something or having to actually 'hang up' a phone, or you find yourself using phrases like 'in my day', then this book will give you a good chuckle (but nothing more strenuous than that - we don't want you putting your back out again).

Life is a Circle Life isnt stagnant. Life doesnt stand still. Life is a constant car-ou-sel. Everything changes for better or for worse Life turns in circlesin our universe. Light breaks darkness and heat warms cold War ends peace and youth turns old Food cures famine and water quenches thirst Rain follows sunshine and luck ends a curse If life were so predictable it wouldnt be much fun Cause anything can happen thats under the sun Love and hate are cousins of the heart Human nature is the sum of many parts Between truth or fiction runs a thin line So often we dont know or understand why Life is a circle, a constant car-ou-sel Opposite forces form lifes par-al-ells Everything changes for better or for worse Life turns in circlesin our universe. If life