You Couldnt Make It Up

The follow up to the top five Sunday Times bestseller I'm Only Being Honest reveals Jeremy Kyle's lighter side as he opens up on topics such as celebrity, middle age, parenting and Gordon Brown. Love him or loathe him, you can't ignore Jeremy Kyle... Is he the most opinionated man on television or the only man who has the balls to say what we're all thinking? He pulls no punches on stage but when the studio lights are turned down and the cameras stop rolling, what is it really like being Jeremy Kyle, one of the nation's most controversial celebrities? Moreover, how would he cope if the focus of his famed straight-talking was... himself? In You Couldn't Make It Up Jeremy tells us exactly what life is like inside the 'crazy celebrity circus', complete with the rollercoaster ride of his accidental TV career and all the highs and lows of his personal life. Read how he really feels about his fellow celebrities; how he's coping with the minefield that is middle age and being a modern dad; uncover what Jeremy thinks about the true state of the nation and what he'd really like to do to our politicians! Funny, self-deprecating and bursting with his trademark honesty, You Couldn't Make It Up shows us the Jeremy Kyle 'not seen on TV', and it's as entertaining and outspoken as the man who is.

New volume of the best-selling review of the year made up of the wry and astute observations of the unpublished Telegraph letter writers.

After the runaway success of You Couldn't Make It Up, Jack Crossley returns with his latest cornucopia of wonderful anecdotes and strange goings-on from around the British Isles. In his many years as a newspaper journalist, Jack Crossley has collected literally thousands of these strange but true newspaper items. They are stories that you wouldn't believe if they weren't written down in black and white. You Really Couldn't Make It Up is a wonderful collection of irresistible whimsy, a testament to Great Britain's lasting legacy of eccentricity, bizarre bureaucracy and confounding stubbornness!

Life is quite wonderful. Some things just happen, others we make happen. Whatever the occurrence, it can't be made up retrospectively. In this book I have chronicled twelve real life events that delight me even now. The memory of my first encounter with a strange looking fruit called a banana still makes me smile and I still chuckle at a school friend's unusual advice on how to cure a common cold and the consequences when I followed it. Thinking of Truffles, an eccentric neighbour's potbellied pet pig, makes me laugh out loud. What about the time when a neighbour asked me to keep an eye on her car while she was away? I still feel foolish when she talks about it over coffee and on that note, if you were wondering where you can drink the ritziest brew ever, you will find the answer in this book...

When Alan Allsop started work as an Apprentice Plumber back in 1976 he expected working life to be hard, serious and anything but fun. However, 27 years of working for Sheffield City Council's Works Department turned out to be just the opposite. In this amusing recollection of working life, Alan describes the reality of working for a large bureaucratic organisation from his humble beginnings as a ?19 per week apprentice to becoming a Contract's Manager overseeing a budget in the millions. The scams, the antics and the characters he came across as he rose through the ranks are recalled in detail here in this story. Parts of this tale may seem strange, crazy, even absurd, but as Alan found out as he worked his way up, no matter how bizarre some of the situations he came across may sound. You just couldn't make it up.

This fully revised second edition is essential for anyone who wants to become a successful make-up artist. It offers a personal guide to the exacting and exciting world of media make-up. A dedicated website features topic summaries and questions to test your knowledge and understanding.