Why Dont You Write My Eulogy Now So I Can Correct It

The perfect Mother's Day gift: A collection of witty one-line advice New Yorker writer Patricia Marx heard from her mother, accompanied by full-color illustrations by New Yorker staff cartoonist Roz Chast. Every mother knows best, but New Yorker writer Patty Marx's knows better. Patty has never been able to shake her mother's one-line witticisms from her brain, so she's collected them into a book, accompanied by full color illustrations by New Yorker staff cartoonist Roz Chast. These snappy maternal cautions include: If you feel guilty about throwing away leftovers, put them in the back of your refrigerator for five days and then throw them out. If you run out of food at your dinner party, the world will end. When traveling, call the hotel from the airport to say there aren't enough towels in your room and, by the way, you'd like a room with a better view. Why don't you write my eulogy now so I can correct it? Every child will want to buy this for mom on Mother's Day!

The perfect Valentine’s Day or anniversary gift: An illustrated collection of love and relationship advice from New Yorker writer Patricia Marx, with illustrations from New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast. Everyone’s heard the old advice for a healthy relationship: Never go to bed angry. Play hard to get. Sexual favors in exchange for cleaning up the cat vomit is a good and fair trade. Okay, not that last one. It’s one of the tips in You Can Only Yell at Me for One Thing at a Time: Rules for Couples by the authors of Why Don’t You Write My Eulogy Now So I Can Correct It: A Mother’s Suggestions. This guide will make you laugh, remind you why your relationship is better than everyone else’s, and solve all your problems. Nuggets of advice include: If you must breathe, don’t breathe so loudly. It is easier to stay inside and wait for the snow to melt than to fight about who should shovel. Queen-sized beds, king-sized blankets. Why not give this book to your significant or insignificant other, your anti-Valentine’s Day crusader pal, or anyone who can’t live with or without love?

Nowhere will you find a more comprehensive, current, and detailed writing skills course designed specifically for writing children and teen books, written by a children's and young adult author who is in the field today. WRITING FOR CHILDREN AND TEENS: A CRASH COURSE is a ten-step course that relays all the nitty-gritty details of the business, beginning with how to evaluate your book idea all the way to pitching your book to editors and agents. Within each step, you'll find clear and specific information covering topics such as the children's book market, manuscript format, commonly made mistakes and editing tips to beef up your writing skills, finding the right literary agent or children's book publisher, and professional submission etiquette. This book will even tell you what kind of paper you should use and exactly how you should write your email or letter pitches to editors and agents. Bonus materials include templates for all of your submission needs as well as examples of real-life editorial letters sent to authors from editors today. You will get a complete inside peak to the children's and YA fiction writing market for those who want to write picture books, easy readers, chapter books, and middle grade or young adult/teen novels.

New York Times bestselling author Donald Miller shares the plan that led him to turn his life around. This actionable guide will teach you how to do the same through journaling prompts and goal-planning exercises. There are four characters in every story: The victim, the villain, the hero, and the guide. These four characters live inside us. If we play the victim, we’re doomed to fail. If we play the villain, we will not create genuine bonds. But if we play the hero or guide, our lives will flourish. The hard part is being self-aware enough to know which character we are playing. In this book, bestselling author Donald Miller uses his own experiences to help you recognize if the character you are currently surfacing is helping you experience a life of meaning. He breaks down the transformational, yet practical, plan that took him from slowly giving up to rapidly gaining a new perspective of his own life’s beauty and meaning, igniting his motivation, passion, and productivity, so you can do the same. In Hero on a Mission, Donald’s lessons will teach you how to: Discover when you are playing the victim and villain. Create a simple life plan that will bring clarity and meaning to your goals ahead. Take control of your life by choosing to be the hero in your story. Cultivate a sense of creativity about what your life can be. Move beyond just being productive to experiencing a deep sense of meaning. Donald will help you identify the many chances you have of being the hero in your life, and the times when you are falling into the trap of becoming the victim. Hero on a Mission will guide you in developing a unique plan that will speak to the challenges you currently face so you can find the fulfillment you have been searching for in your life and work.

NATIONAL BESTSELLER ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: VOGUE • FORBES • BOOKPAGE • NEW YORK POST • WIRED “I have not been as profoundly moved by a book in years.” —Jodi Picoult Even after she left home for Hollywood, Emmy-nominated TV writer Bess Kalb saved every voicemail her grandmother Bobby Bell ever left her. Bobby was a force—irrepressible, glamorous, unapologetically opinionated. Bobby doted on Bess; Bess adored Bobby. Then, at ninety, Bobby died. But in this debut memoir, Bobby is speaking to Bess once more, in a voice as passionate as it ever was in life. Recounting both family lore and family secrets, Bobby brings us four generations of indomitable women and the men who loved them. There’s Bobby’s mother, who traveled solo from Belarus to America in the 1880s to escape the pogroms, and Bess’s mother, a 1970s rebel who always fought against convention. But it was Bobby and Bess who always had the most powerful bond: Bobby her granddaughter’s fiercest supporter, giving Bess unequivocal love, even if sometimes of the toughest kind. Nobody Will Tell You This But Me marks the creation of a totally new, virtuosic form of memoir: a reconstruction of a beloved grandmother’s words and wisdom to tell her family’s story with equal parts poignancy and hilarity.

Free Yourself from a Frantic Life and Embrace the Joy of Slow Living What is slow living? It's a way to find happiness by stepping away from the never-ending demands to constantly succeed and acquire more and more. It's easy to get stuck in the carousel of frantically wanting, buying, and upgrading the things in your life. The philosophy of simple living is about finding the freedom to be less perfect and taking time to enjoy the pure joys of life: a walk in the forest, sharing laughter with family, a personal moment of gratitude. Reconnecting with the living world can help you integrate moments of peace, joy, and mindfulness into an otherwise rapid life. Simple living: After being diagnosed with post-natal depression, Brooke McAlary learned about the power of minimalism and found that the key to happiness was a simpler, more fulfilling existence. She put the brakes on her stressful path and reorganized her life to live outside the status-quo, emphasizing depth, connection, and meaningful experiences. Brooke shares the story of her journey alongside practical advice for simplifying in ways that work for your life. In Slow: Simple Living for a Frantic World, you'll find: Guidance for forming your own slow life Ways to declutter and de-own Tips to replace messiness with mindfulness Paths forward to answer the question "Where to now?" Slow: Simple Living for a Frantic World is an excellent addition to your library if you have read Soulful Simplicity, The Art of Frugal Hedonism, The Year of Less, or Destination Simple.

#1 New York Times Bestseller 2014 NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST In her first memoir, New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast brings her signature wit to the topic of aging parents. Spanning the last several years of their lives and told through four-color cartoons, family photos, and documents, and a narrative as rife with laughs as it is with tears, Chast's memoir is both comfort and comic relief for anyone experiencing the life-altering loss of elderly parents. When it came to her elderly mother and father, Roz held to the practices of denial, avoidance, and distraction. But when Elizabeth Chast climbed a ladder to locate an old souvenir from the “crazy closet”-with predictable results-the tools that had served Roz well through her parents' seventies, eighties, and into their early nineties could no longer be deployed. While the particulars are Chast-ian in their idiosyncrasies-an anxious father who had relied heavily on his wife for stability as he slipped into dementia and a former assistant principal mother whose overbearing personality had sidelined Roz for decades-the themes are universal: adult children accepting a parental role; aging and unstable parents leaving a family home for an institution; dealing with uncomfortable physical intimacies; managing logistics; and hiring strangers to provide the most personal care. An amazing portrait of two lives at their end and an only child coping as best she can, Can't We Talk about Something More Pleasant will show the full range of Roz Chast's talent as cartoonist and storyteller.

Whose truth is the lie? Stay up all night reading the sensational psychological thriller that has readers obsessed, from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Too Late and It Ends With Us. #1 New York Times Bestseller · USA Today Bestseller · Globe and Mail Bestseller · Publishers Weekly Bestseller Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity's recollection of the night her family was forever altered. Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents could devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen’s feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife’s words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue loving her.

A neurotic Cambridge graduate student struggles to cover up her dysfunctional relationship with a narcissistic young man and engages in increasingly absurd lies and acts of self-deception.