What Not To Give Your Mom On Mothers Day

A little boy offers advice about what not to give a mom on Mother's Day by providing examples of gifts that would be suitable for animal mothers.

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

“Howerton writes unflinchingly about what it means to be raising children in today’s world and how to liberate ourselves from the myth of perfect motherhood.”—Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed and Love Warrior, founder of Together Rising In this smart and subversively funny memoir, Kristen Howerton navigates the emotional and sometimes messy waters of motherhood and challenges the idea that there’s a “right” way to raise kids. Recounting her successes, trials, mishaps, and hard-won wisdom, this mother of four advocates for letting go of the expectations, the guilt, and the endless race to be the perfect parent to the perfect child in the perfect family. This book is for ● the parent who loves their kids like crazy but feels like parenting is making them crazy, too ● the parent who said “I will never . . .” and now they have ● the parent who looks like they have it all together but feels like a hot mess on the inside ● the parent who looks like a hot mess on the outside, too ● the parent who asks Am I good enough? Doing enough? Doing it right? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with these children? Are they eighteen yet? With her signature blend of vulnerability, sarcasm, and insight, Howerton shares her unexpected journey from infertility to adoption to pregnancy to divorce to dealing with the shock and awe of raising teens. As a mom of a multiracial family and as a marriage and family therapist, she tackles the thorny issues parents face today, like hard conversations about racism, disciplining other people’s kids, the reality of Dad Privilege, and (never) attaining that elusive work/life balance. Rage Against the Minivan is a permission slip to let it go and allow yourself to be a “good enough” parent, focused on raising happy, kind, loving humans.

Being a good mom isn't about doing everything right to create a set of perfect trophy children--though every mom has felt the pressure to do just that and to do it all on her own. To ask for help feels like defeat. Yet when we try to do it all by our own strength, we end up depleted, lonely, and ineffective. Heather MacFadyen wants you to know that you are not meant to go it alone. Sharing her most vulnerable, hard mom moments, she shows how moms can be empowered by God, supported by others, and connected with their children. With encouragement and insight, she helps you foster the key relationships you need to be the mom you want to be. Whether you work or stay home, whether you have teenagers or babes in arms, you'll find here a compassionate friend who wants the best--not just for your kids but for you.

She's nice, my mum . . . My mum's a fantastic cook, and a brilliant juggler. She's a great painter, and the strongest woman in the world! She's really nice, my mum. A warm, funny tribute to Mum (and to mums everywhere) by the brilliant author/illustrator Anthony Browne.

A little boy offers advice on what NOT to give your mom on Mother's Day, unless she's an animal. For example, don't give her a rotting log unless she's a salamander, or a bunch of flies unless she's a spider! What would Mom like best?

Though one in four pregnancies ends in loss, miscarriage is shrouded in such secrecy and stigma that the woman who experiences it often feels deeply isolated, unsure how to process her grief. Her body seems to have betrayed her. Her confidence in the goodness of God is rattled. Her loved ones don't know what to say. Her heart is broken. She may feel guilty, ashamed, angry, depressed, confused, or alone. With vulnerability and tenderness, Adriel Booker shares her own experience of three consecutive miscarriages, as well as the stories of others. She tackles complex questions about faith and suffering with sensitivity and clarity, inviting women to a place of grace, honesty, and hope in the redemptive purposes of God without offering religious clichés and pat answers. She also shares specific, practical resources, such as ways to help guide children through grief, suggestions for memorializing your baby, and advice on pregnancy after loss, as well as a special section for dads and loved ones.

It's Mother's Day! Celebrate moms everywhere with spa treatments, tasty treats, and more in this installment of Natasha Wing's best-selling series. It's the night before Mother's Day, and Dad and the kids are determined to show Mom just how much they love her. They whip up a cake from scratch, and offer a special coupon for a day at the spa, right in their own kitchen! Kids and moms will love reading this sweet story aloud together for a fun way to celebrate Mother's Day.

First you marry a man who does not want children. He cheats and you divorce him. Then you marry the love of your life and find out he does not want to have children with you either. The three he has are more than enough. Although you always wanted to be a mother, you decide he is worth the sacrifice, expecting to have a long happy life together. But that's not what happens. This is the story of how a woman becomes childless by marriage and how it affects every aspect of her life. This is the book of my heart, the one I had to write. Ever since I realized I was not going to have children, I have felt recurring grief and an emptiness in my heart. I am different from most women, but I have found that I am not alone. There are many of us childless women, and I think it's important to share our stories about what it's like when you don't have children in a world where most girls grow up to become mothers. I hope this book offers comfort to those who are childless and understanding to those who are not. If it makes you smile here and there, even better.

This book is a simple book of love written for you, a mom pregnant again after loss, from other loss moms who have been where you are now. In the pages of this book, we share letters of love from our hearts to yours with the hope that, maybe, in the darkest, loneliest hours of grief and fear, you will find a little bit of comfort in the words offered here. Our deepest desire is for you to know that you are not alone. We are with you. When needed, let us carry your hope for you when it feels impossible to find. Let us wrap you in love and be a light in the darkness as you carry both hope and fear and engage in the most courageous act - to choose for life after you have known death.