Wake Up And Smell The Shit

Stand back! The tales in this raunchy round-the-world romp might get you dirty. We've all had unspeakable experiences while traveling that we're ashamed to admit, but these often become our best stories in the retelling. The writers in this collection cast inhibition aside and reveal their weirdest and worst moments and how they made the best of them. And memorable moments in exotic destinations come in all shapes and sizes: insects as big as Pam Anderson’s left tit, regrettable sex, stink-eyed officials, horrible healers, Lady Gaga’s shoes and Madonna’s special meal, trigger-happy militants, and peeping Tom rock stars. Adventure vicariously as: Spud Hilton (not Monty Python) finds the Holy Grail by accident. Meghan Ward squats, and then the toilet grunts back, in Goa. Kasha Rigby proved how tough she is on National Geographic’s Ultimate Survival Alaska, but is she a match for a 90-year-old bone breaker in Guatemala? Namibians stereotype Chinese men as Bruce Lee—Gerald Yeung wonders if attacking baboons will do the same. Keph Senett (hoping not to follow in the footsteps of Pussy Riot) braves bombs, police and a Soviet-era sofa bed to play soccer at the LGBT games in Putin’s Russia. Jabba-the-Turd versus Shannon Bradford in an epic showdown in Argentina. And many more….

In this uproarious novel, ridiculous characters emerge from San Francisco's countercultural underground to unleash their melancholy psychodrama on an unsuspecting world. Poets and vampires, drag queens and performance artists, musicians and strippers commingle throughout a yearlong hangover. Longhi's ability to render distinctly memorable characters and zero in on subterranean absurdity makes this a rollicking urban ride.

"Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.

100% pure high octane Bogosian. Bogosian's latest and greatest monologue. "His wit is as venomous as ever, his material even more devastating and polished than before."—New York Daily News "Bogosian hasn't simply crossed the line of good taste, he has snorted it."—The Daily Texan Wake Up is Bogosian's meditation on making it to the top of the ladder, on falling off the ladder and on the exhilarating thrill of the ultimate crash and burn. Once again the author offers a blisteringly funny and dead-on take of the chaos and alienation of post-modern life in the U. S. of the year 2000. As Michael Feingold so ably offered in his Village Voice review—"Bogosian is there, watching out for the downtrodden, ridiculing the arrogant rich, defending battered wives and neo-hippie hitchhikers and never losing sight of his own capacity for being classed among the batters and bullies. But his 95 minutes is as fast and exciting a read as the theatre community offers. In our time, the stage has almost been what classical thinkers saw it as, a medium for criticizing life. How perfect that a solo performer should rediscover its roots, by choosing his own life as the object of his criticism." Eric Bogosian, born in Woburn, Massachusetts, has performed his plays and monologues at venues nationwide. Winner of Obie and Drama Desk Awards, he has made four films of his work, most notably Talk Radio and Suburbia. His novel Mall was recently published by Simon and Schuster.

Strap yourself in as you blast off to cram variations of wacky lines and bizarre takes on life into your already overflowing head. Everything you ever needed is inside the book before your very eyes. Anything you could ever dream of is right here ready for you to take into your hands and sift through the magical pages. There's something for everyone and you never know how you'll come out the other side. So take a gander or better yet a cruise. As you're riddled to bits with an overwhelming force of puns and insane mind bending thoughts. There's no reason to look anywhere else. You found just what you've been looking for your entire life but you didn't realize it until now. So come on in and see what goofy bits wait for you.

A Hustler's journey is not your average thug tale or love story. It is an amalgamation of both. It is loosely based on the life of David, a Bronx born native, from adolescence to adulthood. In the mid 80’s at the start of the crack era, David’s family traveled south to visit his relatives, and brought his childhood friend Chris. While out there David was mesmerized in the difference of the drug game compared to New York. They decided to go back and capitalize off the price difference. Within their travels back and forth on the interstate, he became highly successful. He was able to obtain flashy cars and jewelry. David had altercations out of town that he dealt with conscientiously, that propelled his status even more. He was looked at as a ghetto celebrity. His notoriety made him irresistible to women. His success fed his ego. With that ego he developed a cavalier and cocky attitude. He was able to engage with women sexually at his leisure, escalating to freakish and dominating escapades. David finds out later as he's evolving into a man that, that lifestyle may have altered his love life. He has to reflect on his past relationships and focus on present relationships to help with his journey to finally making love.

This book will be entertaining, which is what it was intended to be. To some, it may even be offensive, but it is the story of a man that actually existed; a man of great courage and few resources, a man who protected and loved his family in the midst of great human challenges. This book will let you become acquainted with an unusual man who possessed an uncanny sense of impending danger; a gift that allowed him to see the other man's character weaknesses in time to arm himself with the necessary armor needed for the moment. Excluding a few words in the beginning chapters of the book, to make the story interesting, ninety- five percent of this book is true, as told to the author by his father, his aunt, and his uncles. Many stories were also supplied by the author's mother and many other family members.

This book is where past times cross time in this insane yet wonderful world we live in. As you read this book you may identify with some of the stories, remember some things long forgotten or learn somethings you did not know.