The Tough Standard

Men are commonly expected to act "masculine" (e.g., self-sufficient, stoic, strong, dependable, brave, tough, and hard-working) while avoiding stereotypically "feminine" traits (e.g., emotional expressivity, empathy, and nurturance). Few, however, realize that these qualities--when taken to the extreme--can cause emotional constriction, substance abuse, depression, aggression, and violence in many men. Further, even though most men are not violent, decades of research has shown that masculinity is distinctly related to sexual and gun violence and men's poorer health. Considering how girls and women have benefitted from decades of conversations on navigation of their gender in a changing world, similar processes are urgently needed for boys and men. The Tough Standard connects the dots between masculinity and the present moment in American culture (defined by high-profile movements such as Me Too, March for Our Lives, and Black Lives Matter), synthesizes over four decades of research in the psychology of men and masculinities, and proposes solutions to corresponding social problems.

Men are commonly expected to act "masculine" (e.g., self-sufficient, stoic, strong, dependable, brave, tough, and hard-working) while avoiding stereotypically "feminine" traits (e.g., emotional expressivity, empathy, and nurturance). Few, however, realize that these qualities--when taken to the extreme--can cause emotional constriction, substance abuse, depression, aggression, and violence in many men. Further, even though most men are not violent, decades of research has shown that masculinity is distinctly related to sexual and gun violence and men's poorer health. Considering how girls and women have benefitted from decades of conversations on navigation of their gender in a changing world, similar processes are urgently needed for boys and men. The Tough Standard connects the dots between masculinity and the present moment in American culture (defined by high-profile movements such as Me Too, March for Our Lives, and Black Lives Matter), synthesizes over four decades of research in the psychology of men and masculinities, and proposes solutions to corresponding social problems.

This volume synthesizes and evaluates major theories, research, and applications in the psychology of men and masculinities--a thriving, growing field dedicated to the study of how men's lives shape, and are shaped by, sex and gender.

Originally published: New York: Simon & Schuster, 2010.

This book illuminates the causes of severe adolescent behavioral problems and presents a research-based fifteen-step model for helping families bring about real, lasting change. Incorporating structural and strategic principles, the author's cohesive approach focuses on setting clear rules and consequences; changing the mood and direction of confrontations; neutralizing such problem behaviors as disrespect, truancy, running away, violence, and threats of suicide; and restoring positive, nurturing relationships among family members. Special treatment issues covered include working with single-parent families, outside systems (peers, school, probation officers), divorce and stepfamily problems, and substance misuse. Clearly written, practical, and accessible, the book uses actual case examples to demonstrate each step of the approach.

In Woody Allen's 1973 film, Sleeper, a character wakes up in the future to learn that civilization was destroyed when "a man by the name of Albert Shanker got hold of a nuclear warhead." Shanker was condemned by many when he shut down the New York City school system in the bitter strikes of 1967 and 1968, and he was denounced for stirring up animosity between black parents and Jewish teachers. Later, however, he built alliances with blacks, and at the time of his death in 1997, such figures as Bill Clinton celebrated Shanker for being an educational reformer, a champion of equality, and a promoter of democracy abroad. Shanker lived the lives of several men bound into one. In his early years, he was the "George Washington of the teaching profession," helping to found modern teacher unionism. During the 1980s, as head of the American Federation of Teachers, he became the nation's leading education reformer. Shanker supported initiatives for high education standards and accountability, teacher-led charter schools, and a system of "peer review" to weed out inadequate teachers. Throughout his life, Shanker also fought for "tough liberalism," an ideology favoring public education and trade unions but also colorblind policies and a robust anticommunism all of which, Shanker believed, were vital to a commitment to democracy. Although he had a coherent worldview, Shanker was a complex individual. He began his career as a pacifist but evolved into a leading defense and foreign policy hawk. He was an intellectual and a populist; a gifted speaker who failed at small talk; a liberal whose biggest enemies were often on the left; a talented writer who had to pay to have his ideas published; and a gruff unionist who enjoyed shopping and detested sports. Richard D. Kahlenberg's biography is the first to offer a complete narrative of one of the most important voices in public education and American politics in the last half century. At a time when liberals are accused of not knowing what they stand for, Tough Liberal illuminates an engaging figure who suggested an alternative liberal path.

That Kevin Smith? The guy who did “Clerks” a million years ago? Didn’t they bounce his fat ass off a plane once? What could you possibly learn from the director of “Cop Out”? How about this: he changed filmmaking forever when he was twenty-three, and since then, he’s done whatever the hell he wants. He makes movies, writes comics, owns a store, and now he’s built a podcasting empire with his friends and family, including a wife who’s way out of his league. So here’s some tough shit: Kevin Smith has cracked the code. Or, he’s just cracked. Tough Sh*t is the dirty business that Kevin has been digesting for 41 years and now, he’s ready to put it in your hands. Smear this shit all over yourself, because this is your blueprint (or brownprint) for success. Kev takes you through some big moments in his life to help you live your days in as Gretzky a fashion as you can: going where the puck is gonna be. Read all about how a zero like Smith managed to make ten movies with no discernible talent, and how when he had everything he thought he’d ever want, he decided to blow up his own career. Along the way, Kev shares stories about folks who inspired him (like George Carlin), folks who befuddled him (like Bruce Willis), and folks who let him jerk off onto their legs (like his beloved wife, Jen). So make this your daily reader. Hell, read it on the toilet if you want. Just make sure you grab the bowl and push, because you’re about to take one Tough Sh*t.

From Brooklyn Nine-Nine star Terry Crews, the deeply personal story of his lifelong obsession with strength—and how, after looking for it in all the wrong places, he finally found it Terry Crews spent decades cultivating his bodybuilder physique and bravado. On the outside, he seemed invincible: he escaped his abusive father, went pro in the NFL, and broke into the glamorous world of Hollywood. But his fixation with appearing outwardly tough eventually turned into an exhausting performance in which repressing his emotions let them get the better of him—leading him into addiction and threatening the most important relationships in his life. Now Crews is sharing the raw, never-before-told story of his quest to find the true meaning of toughness. In Tough, he examines arenas of life where he desperately sought control—masculinity, shame, sex, experiences with racism, and relationships—and recounts the setbacks and victories he faced while uprooting deeply ingrained toxic masculinity and finally confronting his insecurities, painful memories, and limiting beliefs. The result is not only the gripping story of a man's struggle against himself and how he finally got his mind right, but a bold indictment of the cultural norms and taboos that ask men to be outwardly tough while leaving them inwardly weak. With Tough, Crews's journey of transformation offers a model for anyone who considers themselves a “tough guy” but feels unfulfilled; anyone struggling with procrastination or self-sabotage; and anyone ready to achieve true, lasting self-mastery.

Award-winning author Laird Barron makes his crime fiction debut with a novel set in the underbelly of upstate New York that's as hardboiled and punchy as a swift right hook to the jaw--a classic noir for fans of James Ellroy and John D. Macdonald. Isaiah Coleridge is a mob enforcer in Alaska--he's tough, seen a lot, and dished out more. But when he forcibly ends the moneymaking scheme of a made man, he gets in the kind of trouble that can lead to a bullet behind the ear. Saved by the grace of his boss and exiled to upstate New York, Isaiah begins a new life, a quiet life without gunshots or explosions. Except a teenage girl disappears, and Isaiah isn't one to let that slip by. And delving into the underworld to track this missing girl will get him exactly the kind of notice he was warned to avoid.

The bestselling author of How Children Succeed returns with a devastatingly powerful, mind-changing inquiry into higher education in the U.S.