The Rotten Adventures Of Zachary Ruthless

Are you rotten enough to read this book? Ha! And I mean that in a laugh-in-your-face, you’re not-really-rotten-at-all way. Have you ever destroyedthe planet? Turned earthworms into your personalarmy of doom? Refused to eat your broccoli andhidden it in your underwear? Well, never mind thatlast one. I mean, who hasn’t? But still, no one is asrotten as Zachary Ruthless. In fact, his adventuresare so rotten you might want to just put this bookdown now and back away very slowly.

Ten-year-old Zachary Ruthless, who aspires to join the Society of Utterly Rotten, Beastly, and Loathsome Lawbreaking Scoundrels (SOURBALLS), acquires an inexperienced but earnest henchman and sets out to prove how evil he can be.

"When Zachary Ruthless wins an essay contest in SUPER VILLAIN WEEKLY, he and his henchman, Newt, get to spend the day on board an evil blimp with SOURBALLS (the Society of Utterly Rotten, Beastly, and Loathsome, Lawbreaking Scoundrels). Will the super villains live up to the vile image Zachary has of them?"--

THE PET WAR is a hilarious story about the timeless battles of dog vs. cat, brother vs. sister, know-it-all vs. know-nothing. Eleven-year-old Otto wants a dog. His twelve-year-old perfect sister, Lexi, wants a cat. Their mother, who works very long hours as a nurse, wants neither. Pets are expensive so who's going to pay for everything? And what happens to the pet when the siblings are at their dad's for the weekend? Otto has an idea. What if he got a job and earned enough money to pay for the dog? Then Lexi has to open her big mouth. She proposes that whichever sibling can raise enough money first will decide which pet they get. Oddly enough, their mom and dad agree. With Otto and Lexi each out to defeat the other, their business plans become more elaborate and involved. As the competition gets fiercer, the stakes get higher, and the battle lines have been drawn, so let the Pet War begin. . . .

"Young Frankenstein meets The Princess Bride in the most hysterically hilarious book I've read in years."--Chris Grabenstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author All orphan Bolt Wattle has ever wanted was to find his true family. When a mysterious baron in far-off Brugaria sends for Bolt, he wonders if he's getting closer to finding his long-lost parents. But Baron Chordata appears to be a twelve-year-old boy who wears tuxedos all the time, shouts at everyone, and forbids Bolt from asking questions. Things couldn't get any worse . . . until midnight, when the Baron bites Bolt and turns him into a half boy, half penguin. Then things really couldn't get worse-- nope, wait, they get a lot worse. With the help and hindrance of a plucky girl who just might be the world's greatest bandit, a whale cult led by a man whose weapon is a stale loaf of French bread, and a sinister but friendly fortune-teller who can't stop cackling, Bolt's on a quest to reverse the curse, return to human form, and stop the Baron from taking over the country of Brugaria with his army of mind-controlled penguins in what might be the weirdest--and funniest--middle-grade novel you've ever read.

Something strange is happening to the sixth grade—and it’s up to student scientist Wilmer Dooley to crack the case in this hilarious mystery “filled with entertaining twists and nutty characters” (Publishers Weekly). If there’s one important thing Wilmer Dooley’s dad always says, it’s this: “Where are my car keys?” Okay, maybe not that. He also says: “Observe!” Wilmer has always known that the greatest science comes from the keenest observations. So when he observes his classmates looking a little green…and orange...and chartreuse-fuchsia polka-dotted...he knows that it’s up to him to find the cause of this mysterious illness—and its cure. But with his arch nemesis, Claudius Dill, hot on his heels; the eagle-eyed biology teacher, Mrs. Padgett, determined to thwart his plans; and a host of fluorescent classmates bouncing off the walls at increasingly dangerous speeds, can Wilmer prove he has what it takes to save the sixth grade from a colorful demise before it’s too late?

Tra-la-laaa! Dav Pilkey -- ahem -- we mean, George and Harold, the authors of SUPER DIAPER BABY, are back with their second epic novel! Meet Ook and Gluk, the stars of this sensationally silly graphic novel from the creators of Captain Underpants! It's 500,001 BC, and Ook and Gluk's hometown of Caveland, Ohio, is under attack by an evil corporation from the future. When Ook, Gluk, and their little dinosaur pal Lily are pulled through a time portal to 2222, they discover a future world that's even more devastated than their own. Luckily, they find a friend in Master Wong, a martial arts instructor who trains them in the ways of kung fu. Now all they have to do is travel back in time 502,223 years and save the day!

Allan Woodrow is back with another pitch-perfect middle-grade novel full of hilarious antics, epic arguments, and a fifth grade that just doesn't get along! This year's fifth graders are the worst Principal Klein has ever seen. But he's hoping that Spirit Week can teach them teamwork, with a top secret prize for the winning team as incentive.Best friends George and Lilly have been looking forward to Spirit Week all year. They might be complete opposites, but they can't wait to be on the winning team together. When their classes end up rivals, with Lilly leading Team Red and George leading Team Blue, the friends swear they can compete and remain best friends.But suddenly there are slimed lockers, sabotaged costumes, and class pets held hostage. As the mischief escalates, it threatens everything, including the prize. Because if Principal Klein finds out, Spirit Week will be canceled and the students will spend the rest of the year in detention.Can George and Lilly find a way to fix their friendship and get the entire fifth grade to play fair, or is the most awesome week of fifth grade about to make this the worst school year ever?

It's another pitch-perfect middle-grade novel full of hilarious antics, a field trip gone wrong, and a fifth grade that just can't seem to behave from Allan Woodrow! The fifth graders of Liberty Falls Elementary might be the worst fifth graders ever, but they still get to go on a field trip! They're going to visit the Edward Minks Mansion to learn about the eccentric inventor and founder of their town. Legend has it, there are some undiscovered inventions hidden in the house. The students are eager to find them, and they convince Principal Klein to let them out of writing their essay on Minks if they do. But as Aaron, Eddie, Jessie, and Chloe explore the Minks Mansion, it seems like something strange is going on. Like the adults are missing and someone might be stealing the inventions. But in order to save the inventions and their teachers, the kids might just have to pull some serious pranks to stop the bad guys. Even if it means risking a lifetime of detention. Can the fifth graders save their field trip and the mansion . . . or will this be the last field trip ever in school history?

Allan Woodrow is back with another pitch-perfect middle-grade novel full of hilarious antics, epic arguments, and a class that just doesn't get along. Class 507 is the worst class Ms. Bryce has ever taught. And she would know -- she's been teaching forever. They are so terrible that when a science experiment goes disastrously wrong (again), Ms. Bryce has had it and quits in the middle of the lesson. But through a mix-up, the school office never finds out. Which means ... Class 507 is teacher-free! The class figures if they don't tell anyone, it'll be one big holiday. Kyle and his friends can play games all day. Samantha decides she'll read magazines and give everyone (much needed) fashion advice. Adam can doodle everywhere without getting in trouble. Eric will be able to write stories with no one bothering him. And Maggie ... well, as the smartest kid in the class she has an ambitious plan for this epic opportunity. But can Class 507 keep the principal, the rest of the students, and their parents from finding out ... or will the greatest school year ever turn into the worst disaster in school history?