The Narcissist Next Door

A timely and provocative exploration of narcissism, from Donald Trump to Kanye West to Lance Armstrong, that shows us how to recognize and handle the narcissists we encounter every day. Narcissists are everywhere. There are millions of them in the United States alone: politicians, entertainers, businesspeople, your neighbors. Recognizing and understanding them is crucial to your not being overtaken by them, says Jeffrey Kluger in his provocative book about this insidious disorder. The odds are good that you know a narcissist—probably a lot of them. You see them in your office, on TV, maybe even in the mirror. The odds are also good that they are intelligent, confident, and articulate—the center of attention. With intelligence, sight and wit, Kluger explains the startling new research into narcissism and the insights that research is yielding. He explains how narcissism and narcissists affect our lives at work and at home, on the road, and in the halls of government; what to do when we encounter narcissists; and how to neutralize narcissism’s effects before it’s too late. As a writer and editor at Time, Kluger knows how to take science’s cutting-edge research and transform it into perceptive, accessible writing—which he does brilliantly in The Narcissist Next Door. Highly readable and deeply engaging, this book helps us understand narcissism and narcissists more fully.

"Burgo has developed a ... guidebook to help you 'spot narcissists out there in the wild' (Glamour) and then understand and manage the narcissistic personalities in your own life. Relying on detailed profiles, vignettes from the authors practice, and celebrity biographies, [this book] offers ... tools and solutions you can use to defuse hostile situations and survive assaults on your self-esteem should you ever find yourself in an extreme narcissist's orbit"--Amazon.com.

Who is the devil you know? Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband? Your sadistic high school gym teacher? Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings? The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own? In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too. We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt. How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win. The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game. It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

From Dr. Martha Stout's influential work The Sociopath Next Door, we learned how to identify a sociopath. Now she tells us what to actually do about it. While the best way to deal with a sociopath is to avoid them entirely, sometimes circumstance doesn't allow for that. What happens when the time comes to defend yourself against your own child, a boss, or ruthless ex-spouse? Inspired by the many chilling and often heartbreaking emails and letters she has received over the years, from her work with the victims of sociopathy, Dr. Martha Stout uncovers the psychology behind the sociopath's methods and provides concrete guidelines to help navigate these dangerous interactions. Organized around categories such as destructive narcissism, violent sociopaths, sociopathic coworkers, and the sociopath in your family, Outsmarting the Sociopath Next Door contains detailed explanation and commentary on how best to react in these situations to keep the sociopath at bay. Uniting these categories is a discussion of changing psychological theories of personality and sociopathy and the enduring triumph of conscience over those who operate without empathy or concern for others. By understanding the person you're dealing with and changing the rules of the game, you'll be able to gain the upper hand and escape the sociopath's influence. Whether you're fighting a custody battle against a sociopathic ex or being gaslighted by a boss or coworker, you'll find hope and help within these pages. With this guide to disarming the conscienceless, Dr. Stout aims to give readers the tools to protect themselves while conducting a broader examination of human behavior and conceptions of normality.

It's everywhere you look. On reality television programs, social networking sites, playgrounds, and board rooms, a culture of narcissism dictates how we should look and what we should have. In her groundbreaking new book, Heather Sheafer deconstructs narcissistic culture to explain that the new normal is potentially dangerous to a new generations' emotional and intellectual development. Using brilliant, sad, and sometimes funny stories of people who have survived narcissism, as well as relateable anecdotes, Sheafer lays out the reality of modern narcissism and points out that everyone- from your mother to the narcissistic next door- is contributing to this troubling new trend.

They're among us, but they are not like us. They manipulate, lie, cheat, and steal. They are irresistibly charming and accomplished, appearing to live in a radiance beyond what we are capable of. But narcissists are empty. No one knows exactly what everyone else is full of--some kind of a soul, or personhood--but whatever it is, experts agree that narcissists do not have it. So goes the popular understanding of narcissism, or NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). And it's more prevalent than ever, according to recent articles in The New York Times, The Atlantic, and Time. In bestsellers like The Narcissism Epidemic, Narcissists Exposed, and The Narcissist Next Door, pop psychologists have armed the normal with tools to identify and combat the vampiric influence of this rising population, while on websites like narcissismsurvivor.com, thousands of people congregate to swap horror stories about relationships with "narcs." In The Selfishness of Others, the essayist Kristin Dombek provides a clear-sighted account of how a rare clinical diagnosis became a fluid cultural phenomenon, a repository for our deepest fears about love, friendship, and family. She cuts through hysteria in search of the razor-thin line between pathology and common selfishness, writing with robust skepticism toward the prophets of NPD and genuine empathy for those who see themselves as its victims. And finally, she shares her own story in a candid effort to find a path away from the cycle of fear and blame and toward a more forgiving and rewarding life.

As Charlotte Chandler did so well in her previous biographies, she will again draw on the recorded words of Joan Crawford and those who knew her well to paint a rich portrait of the woman and the star. Joan Crawford was born Lucille LeSueur in Texas in 1908. She became a chorus girl in silent films before finding her voice in Possessed(1931) with Clark Gable. Their affair would continue, on and off screen, for many years. Throughout the thirties, Joan continued to earn critical acclaim for her forte of playing career women who never gave up. Her Oscar-winning film Mildred Piercein 1945 began the long-running feud between Joan and Bette Davis, which reached its height with Whatever Happened to Baby Janein 1962. Joan was married four times including once to Douglas Fairbanks Jr, who spoke extensively to Charlotte Chandler for this book. Following her death, Joan's decision to cut her eldest children out of her will prompted her daughter Christina to write the damning bookMommie Dearest which changed Joan's image forever. Charlotte Chandler spent many hours recording interviews with Joan and also those closest to her. What emerges is a subtle portrait of a complex women and a new insight into the legendary actress.

One of the most significant but least understood of character disorders in individuals is narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD. In this book, a licensed marital and family therapist provides a much-needed overview of NPD, its wide-ranging effects, and guidelines for dealing with this disorder.

You try to understand how another human being could psychologically terrorize you in the manner that the Narcissist you were with did to you. You loved this person and they SAID they loved you back. They participated in the relationship and it seemed like 'normal' reciprocation as far as them loving you back. BUT today you are looking at this relationship and wondering HOW did this turn around in such a hideous manner that you feel so lost, so confused, so broken, and disabled. What did you do wrong, why did this person that you loved unconditionally now seems to hate you and blame you and WHAT IS THE REASON? They have probably moved on very quickly and are with someone new and they are saying that they are in love and it is amazing. They are also saying that they basically had to run from YOU because you were impossible to deal with, or perhaps you have mental health issues, OR you abused them. You feel frozen in time, very vulnerable, and in shock or better yet traumatized from this and you want to dig through all of the layers and understand this so you can move on, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T SEEM TO DO SO. Family and friends are there to support you but more than likely it is to give you a small pat on the back and say time will heal your wounds, or you HAVE to move on, OR how could you stay in this relationship for as long as you have if it was this bad. When you try to tell your story it is so incredulous that most people seem to be in shock over the allegations that you are proposing about the relationship. In turn you only feel like you are the problem and you blame yourself even more and MAYBE you start to believe that you were the problem just like that Narcissist said. You feel like your spirit is gone and your whole belief system has been thrown out the door about life. Where do you start, how do you turn off the many negative messages? How do you reclaim your spirit and join life again? Who do you go to for the help that you need and WHY is this taking so long to get over? Every day is a struggle and you want this to stop NOW and you want to move on. You have heard 'things' your Narcissist has said about you to the very people you love in your life and now they may be challenging you or questioning this from the Narcissist's point of view. You are defending yourself when you shouldn't have to. Again you are feeling you are the problem here and all of this has become insurmountable. Well I totally believe you, I totally understand what you are going through and I am going to explain this abuse in a manner to educate you, as well as help you embrace this in a manner to achieve closure on your own. I am going to try to explain as much of this as I possibly can to help you get through this and achieve that "Ah Ha' moment where you do 'GET THIS'. I am going to do this in a manner that goes beyond the clinical definitions and put it out there in a raw manner with real definitions and explanations from the perspective of a person that has gone through this and returned back to a normal lifestyle. With each and every separate topic I am going to keep bringing you back to some of the same specific points I may have already covered in a manner that not only defines a specific situation but constantly reconnects it to the bigger picture! I will repeat and connect thoughts in each chapter because there is no real 'rhyme or reason' to this abuse, only the truth and facts that every target/victim of this abuse experiences the SAME thing. That is what I am trying to connect you to! Each chapter is its own separate story so you can read a chapter at a time, return and connect to a new definition that brings you back to a little more of the truth and understanding the total picture step by step.

Faithfulness. Fear. Truth. Lies. Joy. Pain. FreedomThese are the words that describe one woman's journey, and the weight she carried to make it through a toxic relationship. A woman, once voiceless by the hands of her narcissistic husband, now a trailblazer in advocating for individuals that share similar experiences. Narcissist Next Door is a story about forgiveness-forgiving not only the abuser, but yourself. When the devil aims high, God aims higher, covering her body, protecting her mind, and shielding her heart from the brokenness that lied within her situation. The good news, she survived. The even better news, so can you. With authenticity in every word, and passion that overwhelms each page, this book not only encourages, but it gives hope to the hopeless, strength to the weak, and a voice to the mute. This book illustrates the power of a prayerful life and how no matter the situation, God is always by your side. Let no pain stand between the light in your eyes, and may no weapons formed against you prosper.