The Mommy Myth

Now in paperback, the provocative book that has ignited fiery debate and created a dialogue among women about the state of motherhood today. In THE MOMMY MYTH, Susan Douglas and Meredith Michaels turn their 'sharp, funny, and fed-up prose' (San Diego Union Tribune) toward the cult of the new momism, a trend in Western culture that suggests that women can only achieve contentment through the perfection of mothering. Even so, the standards of this ideal remain out of reach, no matter how hard women try to 'have it all'. THE MOMMY MYTH skilfully maps the distance travelled from the days when THE FEMININE MYSTIQUE demanded more for women than keeping house and raising children, to today's not-so-subtle pressure to reverse this trend. A must-read for every woman.

In an era of mommy blogs, Pinterest, and Facebook, The Good Mother Myth dismantles the social media-fed notion of what it means to be a "good mother." This collection of essays takes a realistic look at motherhood and provides a platform for real voices and raw stories, each adding to the narrative of motherhood we don't tend to see in the headlines or on the news. From tales of mind-bending, panic-inducing overwhelm to a reflection on using weed instead of wine to deal with the terrible twos, the honesty of the essays creates a community of mothers who refuse to feel like they're in competition with others, or with the notion of the ideal mom—they're just trying to find a way to make it work. With a foreword by Christy Turlington Burns and a contributor list that includes Jessica Valenti, Sharon Lerner, Soraya Chemaly, Amber Dusick and many more, this remarkable collection seeks to debunk the myth and offer some honesty about what it means to be a mother.

As a psychotherapist, parent educator and parent coach, Alyson Schfer has worked with a great many mothers who, in the quest to be a "good mother" have ended up on the door step of despair. Alyson is a forty-something, suburbanite, working-mother of two and can speak to these issues both personally and professionally. This book explains the psycho-social phenomena of how each person creates their own unique "good mother myth" and then examines why these myths are not only faulty, but could in fact lead to poor parenting, marital disaster and individual crisis. Her years of educating parents around these concepts afford Alyson the skill to take complex ideas and explain them to a lay audience in a compelling and easy to understand way. Capitalizing on the need to present parents with information in an easy to digest format, the book is presented as a series of personal stories, each highlighting a common parenting myth. This format will appeal to tired parents who have little time and energy for "academia". Instead, readers learn by taking a voyeuristic peek into the private family lives of the book's characters. Readers can identify with the fictitious parents and coaching clients in the stories and see first hand how the characters life experiences shaped their unique "good mother myths" and how these myths create conflict in their lives. The author offers up ideas for how the character can reject her current thinking and adopt a more useful outlook to improve her situation. The story arc allows readers to identify and then project how their parenting may be unknowingly going off the rails. The goal of this book is to provide parents with some basic education and a means of self-discovery. Readers uncover their own good mother myths and are given an eye-opening glimpse into potential issues to challenge their thinking. A great sense of empowerment is restored as mothers become better able to resist the pulls of their personal and cultural myths, and instead begin parenting with greater intention and in ways that are more suitable to proper child guidance.

This groundbreaking & irreverent history of motherhood is for any mother who's ever been made to feel guilty or frazzled by society's impossible expectations. Thurer wends her way from the Stone Age to the age of Hillary Clinton, painting a vivid, often frightening picture of life for mothers & children in a time when their roles were constructed by men. She debunks myth after myth -- exposing the not-so-golden ages of Classical Greece & the Italian Renaissance, & revealing the pervasive ideal of Dr. Spock's selfless, stay-at-home mother as the historical aberration it actually was. A positive, sensible, & readable history directed to women in the throes of the experience.

"This book isn't about raising kids. It's about raising Moms. . ." says author, speaker, blogger, lunch packer, and sidewalk chalk artist Becky Kopitzke. In a Pinterest-perfect culture, you've likely sensed an accelerated pressure to measure up. Then you either weigh yourself down with guilt or become resigned--desensitized, even--to this so-called failure. The Supermom Myth--with humor and grace, yet all the while maintaining a firm grasp on reality--aims to empower you to become the mom God created you to be. With 8 chapters, each personifying a "dirty villain" of motherhood, including The Grouch on the Couch (Anger), Worry Woman (Fear), and The Calendar Queen (Busyness), Kopitzke offers a gentle reminder to rest in the super power of our grace-filled God.

Who was your mother before she was a mother? Essays and photos from Brit Bennett, Jennifer Egan, Danzy Senna, Laura Lippman, Jia Tolentino, and many more. In this remarkable collection, New York Times–bestselling novelist Edan Lepucki gathers more than sixty original essays and favorite photographs to explore this question. The daughters in Mothers Before are writers and poets, artists and teachers, and the images and stories they share reveal the lives of women in ways that are vulnerable and true, sometimes funny, sometimes sad, and always moving. Contributors include: Brit Bennett * Jennine Capó Crucet * Jennifer Egan * Angela Garbes * Annabeth Gish * Alison Roman * Lisa See * Danzy Senna * Dana Spiotta * Lan Samantha Chang * Laura Lippman * Jia Tolentino * Tiffany Nguyen * Charmaine Craig * Maya Ramakrishnan * Eirene Donohue * and many others

Working mothers today confront not only conflicting demands on their time and energy but also conflicting ideas about how they are to behave: they must be nurturing and unselfish while engaged in child rearing but competitive and ambitious at work. As more and more women enter the workplace, it would seem reasonable for society to make mothering a simpler and more efficient task. Instead, Sharon Hays points out in this original and provocative book, an ideology of "intensive mothering" has developed that only exacerbates the tensions working mothers face. Drawing on ideas about mothering since the Middle Ages, on contemporary childrearing manuals, and on in-depth interviews with mothers from a range of social classes, Hays traces the evolution of the ideology of intensive mothering--an ideology that holds the individual mother primarily responsible for child rearing and dictates that the process is to be child-centered, expert-guided, emotionally absorbing, labor-intensive, and financially expensive. Hays argues that these ideas about appropriate mothering stem from a fundamental ambivalence about a system based solely on the competitive pursuit of individual interests. In attempting to deal with our deep uneasiness about self-interest, we have imposed unrealistic and unremunerated obligations and commitments on mothering, making it into an opposing force, a primary field on which this cultural ambivalence is played out.

Esteemed psychologist Daphne de Marneffe examines women’s desire to care for children in an updated reissue of her “fascinating analysis that’s a welcome addition to the dialogues about motherhood” (Publishers Weekly). If a century ago it was women’s sexual desires that were unspeakable, today it is the female desire to mother that has become taboo. One hundred years of Freud and feminism have liberated women to acknowledge and explore their sexual selves, as well as their public and personal ambitions. What has remained inhibited is women’s thinking about motherhood. Maternal Desire is the first book to treat women’s desire to mother as a legitimate focus of intellectual inquiry and personal exploration. Shedding new light on old debates, Daphne de Marneffe provides an emotional road map for mothers who work and mothers who are at home. De Marneffe both explores the enjoyment and anxieties of motherhood and offers mothers in all situations valuable ways to think through their self-doubts and connect to their capacity for pleasure. Drawing on a rich tradition of writers, such as Simone de Beauvoir, Adrienne Rich, Carol Gilligan, and Susan Faludi, as well as her experience as a psychologist and mother of three, de Marneffe illuminates how we express our desire to care for children. By treating maternal desire as a central feature of women’s identity—rather than as an inconvenient or slightly embarrassing detail—we can look with fresh insight at controversial issues, such as childcare, fertility, abortion, and the role of fathers. An “absorbing look at the enormous personal pleasure that women derive from mothering….Maternal Desire is a stirring book that celebrates women’s love for their children and mothering while also supporting their interest in careers and other pursuits” (Booklist).

Professor Mommy is designed as a guide for women who want to combine the life of the mind with the joys of motherhood. The book provides practical suggestions from the authors' experiences together with those of other women who have successfully combined parenting with professorships. Professor Mommy addresses key questions—when to have children and how many, what kinds of academic institutions are the most family friendly, how to negotiate around the myths that many people hold about academic life, etc.—for women throughout all stages of their academic careers, from graduate school through full professor. The authors follow the demands of motherhood all the way from the infant stages through the empty nest. At each stage, the authors offer invaluable advice and tested strategies from women who have successfully juggled the demands and rewards of an academic career and motherhood. Written in clear, jargon-free prose, the book is accessible to women in all disciplines, with concise chapters for the time-constrained academic. The book's conversational tone is supplemented with a review of the most current scholarship on work/family balance and a survey of emerging family-friendly practices at U.S. colleges and universities. Professor Mommy asserts that the faculty mother has become and will remain a permanent fixture on the landscape of the American academy.The paperback edition features a new Preface that addresses the public conversation about mothers and work raised in Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In and Ann Marie Slaughter’s Why Women Still Can’t Have it All. The new Preface also answers frequently asked questions from readers.