The Day I Turned Uncool

Available for the first time in eBook from the master of “Seinfeld-ian nothingness” (Time) a comic, not-so-coming-of-age tale of transitioning from his twenties to his thirties, recently optioned by Adam Sandler along with Dan Gets a Minivan. Sooner or later, each of us must face the day we develop a disturbing new interest in lawn care; the day we order Sauvignon Blanc instead of Rolling Rock; the day we refuse to see any concert where we cannot sit down. Sooner or later, each of us must face the day we turn uncool. Dan Zevin, who “was never exactly Fonz-like to begin with,” is having a hilariously hard time moving from his twenties to his thirties, and he confesses everything in these witty, self-deprecating tales. As he shamefully employs his first cleaning lady, becomes abnormally attached to his dog, and commits flagrant acts of home improvement, Dan’s headed for an early midlife crisis—and a better-late-than-never revelation: Growing up is really nothing to be reluctant about. In fact, it’s very cool.

Dan Zevin, master of "Seinfeld-ian nothingness" (Time), is trying his best to make the transition from couplehood to familyhood. Acclimating to the adult-oriented lifestyle has never been his strong suit, and this slice-of-midlife story chronicles the whole hilarious journey--from instituting date night to joining Costco; from touring Disneyland to recovering from knee surgery; from losing ambition to gaining perspective. Where it's all heading is anyone's guess, but, for Dan, suburbia's calling--and his minivan has GPS. -- Jacket, p. [2].

Mindfulness meets the modern world with this collection of tongue-in-cheek chants for those daily moments that drive us insane. For all of us who've crammed yoga, meditation, and self-care into our lives, there's just one thing missing on our daily slog toward serenity: a laugh. With rainbow-free visualizations ripped from real life, Very Modern Mantras will have you mastering the meditations that really matter, like Mantra for Starbucks; Mantra for the Airport Security Line; Mantra for Open-Plan Office, and Mantra for Public Transportation. Finally, a way to find inner peace without losing your sense of humor.

Parody based on a series originally created by Roger Hargreaves.

In the bestselling and beloved tradition of Dave Barry, a coming-of-middle-age tale by Thurber finalist Dan Zevin, master of “Seinfeld-ian nothingness” (Time) about a man’s inevitable transition into mid-life and fatherhood. A coming-of-middle-age tale told with warmth and wit, Dan Gets a Minivan provides the one thing every parent really needs: comic relief. Whether you’re a dude, a dad, or someone who’s married to either, fasten your seat belt and prepare to crack up. The least hip citizen of Brooklyn, Dan Zevin has a working wife, two small children, a mother who visits each week to “help,” and an obese Labrador mutt who prefers to be driven rather than walked. How he got to this point is a bit of a blur. There was a wedding, and then there was a puppy. A home was purchased in New England. A wife was promoted and transferred to New York. A town house. A new baby boy. A new baby girl. A stay-at-home dad was born. A prescription for Xanax was filled. Gray hairs appeared; gray hairs fell out. Six years passed in six seconds. And then came the minivan. Dan Zevin, master of “Seinfeld-ian nothingness” (Time), is trying his best to make the transition from couplehood to familyhood. Acclimating to the adult-oriented lifestyle has never been his strong suit, and this slice-of-midlife story chronicles the whole hilarious journey—from instituting date night to joining Costco; from touring Disneyland to recovering from knee surgery; from losing ambition to gaining perspective. Where it’s all heading is anyone’s guess, but, for Dan, suburbia’s calling—and his minivan has GPS.

This hilarious book is packed full of stories, advice, amusing quotes and more, designed to help men of all ages spot those unthinkable, yet inevitable signs that you are, in fact, turning into your dad.

“A scrumptious gem of a story!”—Jennifer A. Nielsen, New York Times bestselling author of The False Prince Meet Gladys Gatsby: New York’s toughest restaurant critic. (Just don’t tell anyone that she’s in sixth grade.) Gladys Gatsby has been cooking gourmet dishes since the age of seven, only her fast-food-loving parents have no idea! Now she’s eleven, and after a crème brûlée accident (just a small fire), Gladys is cut off from the kitchen (and her allowance). She’s devastated but soon finds just the right opportunity to pay her parents back when she’s mistakenly contacted to write a restaurant review for one of the largest newspapers in the world. But in order to meet her deadline and keep her dream job, Gladys must cook her way into the heart of her sixth-grade archenemy and sneak into New York City—all while keeping her identity a secret! Easy as pie, right?

In Jenny Han's follow-up to The Summer I Turned Pretty, Belly finds out what comes after falling in love. Now available in paperback!

For Mr. Selfie, "every" op is a photo op as long as he is the one in front of the lens. And also behind it! He risks his job taking selfies at work. He risks his life taking selfies at the zoo. And whenever he feels romantic, he whips out his selfie stick and sexts that special someone: himself. Do you know someone with no selfie-control? Then you'll love Mr. Selfie as much as Mr. Selfie does! Meet his friends from the Little Miss and Mr. ME ME ME parody series: Little Miss Overshare, Mr. Humblebrag and Little Miss Basic!"

Katie Rose is flattered over the attention she receives from Zane, but she has resolved to never marry. Even if she were to entertain the idea, it surely couldnt be with an outsider like Zane.