Sexual Feelings

Be sexy but not sexual. Don't be a prude but don't be a slut. These are the cultural messages that barrage teenage girls. In movies and magazines, in music and advice columns, girls are portrayed as the object or the victim of someone else's desire--but virtually never as someone with acceptable sexual feelings of her own. What teenage girls make of these contradictory messages, and what they make of their awakening sexuality--so distant from and yet so susceptible to cultural stereotypes--emerges for the first time in frank and complex fashion in Deborah Tolman's Dilemmas of Desire. A unique look into the world of adolescent sexuality, this book offers an intimate and often disturbing, sometimes inspiring, picture of how teenage girls experience, understand, and respond to their sexual feelings, and of how society mediates, shapes, and distorts this experience. In extensive interviews, we listen as actual adolescent girls--both urban and suburban--speak candidly of their curiosity and confusion, their pleasure and disappointment, their fears, defiance, or capitulation in the face of a seemingly imperishable double standard that smiles upon burgeoning sexuality in boys yet frowns, even panics, at its equivalent in girls. As a vivid evocation of girls negotiating some of the most vexing issues of adolescence, and as a thoughtful, richly informed examination of the dilemmas these girls face, this readable and revealing book begins the critical work of understanding the sexuality of young women in all its personal, social, and emotional significance.

Is love “blind” when it comes to gender? For women, it just might be. This unsettling and original book offers a radical new understanding of the context-dependent nature of female sexuality. Lisa M. Diamond argues that for some women, love and desire are not rigidly heterosexual or homosexual but fluid, changing as women move through the stages of life, various social groups, and, most important, different love relationships.This perspective clashes with traditional views of sexual orientation as a stable and fixed trait. But that view is based on research conducted almost entirely on men. Diamond is the first to study a large group of women over time. She has tracked one hundred women for more than ten years as they have emerged from adolescence into adulthood. She summarizes their experiences and reviews research ranging from the psychology of love to the biology of sex differences. Sexual Fluidity offers moving first-person accounts of women falling in and out of love with men or women at different times in their lives. For some, gender becomes irrelevant: “I fall in love with the person, not the gender,” say some respondents.Sexual Fluidity offers a new understanding of women’s sexuality—and of the central importance of love.

Accessibly written, this interdisciplinary book reviews theory and research on the characteristics of sexual desire, the individual physical and mental factors that influence the experience of sexual desire (hormones, age, gender, beliefs, mood), the various partner characteristics that incite sexual desire (attractiveness) and the association between sexual desire and interpersonal, relational events and experiences (romantic love). The book concludes with an examination of the personal, interpersonal and societal implications of sexual desire. Throughout, the authors draw on findings from their own body of research on sexual and romantic attraction, as well as on an extensive review of the relevant social, behavioural and medical science

A practical guide to understand both low and high libido, drawing on science, straight talk and useful exercises to stop blame and rekindle pleasure. From the Vatican to Vegas, From Disney to PornHub, we’ve been tricked into believing love and sex are like a hand in a glove, though few of us experience them that way. In Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It: The Truth About Mismatched Libido and Rediscovering Desire,Cyndi Darnell helps demystify our relationship to desire by making it authentic, relatable, and most importantly, attainable. Darnell guides readers step-by-step through a useful framework to discover their authentic longings while recognizing it can feel uncomfortable when they’re unaccustomed to deep, soul-nourishing conversations about sex. From reading this book, you will learn what desire needs to thrive and how to understand your unique erotic template. At its core, Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It is honest. It understands that exploring sex is complicated in a culture that insists sex is both natural and dangerous. It doesn’t promise eternal happiness with tips and tricks in three-easy-steps. It does, however, get to the heart of how everything we’ve been led to believe about erotic desire is untrue, and demonstrates how these beliefs shape our struggles with cultivating pleasure and understanding the nature of passion. Darnell takes desire from a passive, resigned sense of failure to an inspired quest by offering countless prompts, practices, suggestions and reflections to help the reader understand why they’re feeling what they’re feeling, why they’re feeling stuck, what they really want, and how to get there. This book offers abundant alternatives to sexual struggles and tackles the self-doubt, awkwardness, and embarrassment of exploring erotic desire to support the reader in creating a dynamic erotic identity that is uniquely theirs.

Asexuality can be defined as an enduring lack of sexual attraction. Thus, asexual individuals do not find (and perhaps never have) others sexually appealing. Some consider "asexuality" as a fourth category of sexual orientation, distinct from heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality. However, there is also recent evidence that the label "asexual" may be used in a broader way than merely as "a lack of sexual attraction." People who say they have sexual attraction to others, but indicate little or no desire for sexual activity are also self-identifying as asexual. Distinct from celibacy, which refers to sexual abstinence by choice where sexual attraction and desire may still be present, asexuality is experienced by those having a lack or sexual attraction or a lack of sexual desire. More and more, those who identify as asexual are "coming out," joining up, and forging a common identity. The time is right for a better understanding of this sexual orientation, written by an expert in the field who has conducted studies on asexuality and who has provided important contributions to understanding asexuality. This timely resource will be one of the first books written on the topic for general readers, and the first to look at the historical, biological, and social aspects of asexuality. It includes firsthand accounts throughout from people who identify as asexual. The study of asexuality, as it contrasts so clearly with sexuality, also holds up a lens and reveals clues to the mystery of sexuality.

The present book offers a reader-theoretical model for approaching anglophone Caribbean women’s writing through affects, emotions, and feelings related to sexuality, a prominent theme in the literary tradition. How does an affective framework help us read this tradition of writing that is so preoccupied with sexual feelings? The novelists discussed in the book – chiefly Erna Brodber, Opal Palmer Adisa, Edwidge Danticat, Shani Mootoo, and Oonya Kempadoo – are representative of various anglophone Caribbean island cultures and English-speaking back¬grounds. The study makes astute use of the theoretical writings of such scholars as Sara Ahmed, Milton J. Bennett, Sue Campbell, Linden Lewis, Evelyn O’Callaghan, Lizabeth Paravisini – Gebert, Lynne Pearce, Elspeth Probyn, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, and Rei Terada, as well as the critical writings of Adisa, Brodber, Kempadoo, to shape an individual, focused argument. The works of the creative artists treated, and this volume, hold sexuality and emo¬tions to be vital for meaning-production and knowledge-negotiation across diffe¬rences (be they culturally, geographi¬cally or otherwise marked) that chal¬lenge the postcolonial reading process. Elina Valovirta is a Post-Doctoral Fellow employed by the Turku Institute for Advanced Studies (TIAS) and stationed in the Department of English, University of Turku, Finland. She has published on Caribbean women’s writing in English, feminist pedagogy, and cultural studies.

"Kathryn Hall takes a fresh and refreshing new look at why so many women are not really interested in sex. A uniquely helpful book." -Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger "Women don't need medicine or magic to feel desire but rather reasons and motivation. This book provides sound strategies and sensible suggestions for overcoming sexual inertia and finding genuine satisfaction." -Sandra Leiblum, Ph.D., Director, Center for Sexual & Relationship Health, University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey "The many who are searching for sexual desire in an easy-to-swallow pill form may be pleasantly surprised to find it in this easy-to-read book form." -Gerianne M. Alexander, Ph.D., Texas A&M University At last, a drug-free, holistic program to restore sexual passion and desire Despite what many so-called experts believe, lack of sexual desire in women does not necessarily indicate a hormonal problem. More often, asserts sex therapist Dr. Kathryn Hall, it means that something is out of balance in our lives. In Reclaiming Your Sexual Self, Dr. Hall reveals how to discover the source of your lack of sexual interest and take charge of your health. Drawing on successful methods she has used in her clinical practice, she helps you identify the imbalances that are affecting your overall well-being and get in touch with lost or neglected sexual feelings. Through a series of illuminating exercises and with Dr. Hall's wise, warm advice, you'll discover: * Why it's okay to want sex-and enjoy it * Ways to improve communication with your partner * The right conditions and circumstances to spark your sexual interest * How to maintain a vital sexual connection for the long term * When to consult a professional Hormone replacement therapy doesn't have to be the answer. You can reclaim your sexual self and keep desire and passion alive and well by following the proven, reassuring advice in this authoritative guide.

Exploring The Dimensions Of Human Sexuality, Third Edition, Has Been Extensively Updated To Include Information And Statistics About Recent Developments. This Text Continues To Encourage Students To Explore The Varied Dimensions Of Sexuality And To See How Each Affects Their Personal Sexuality, Sexual Health, And Sexual Responsibility. All Aspects Of Sexuality--Biological, Spiritual, Psychological, And Sociocultural--Are Presented Factually And Impartially.

In this remarkable sexual health and wellness book, Dr. David Schnarch, world-renowned sex and marital therapist and author of Passionate Marriage, offers a groundbreaking approach to resolving sexual difficulties and the relationship problems they cause. By showing couples how they can turn their worst sex and relationship disasters into personal growth and spiritual connection, Dr. Schnarch offers couples the best sex of their lives. In addition to taking an unflinchingly honest, realistic, and erotic approach to sex, Dr. Schnarch reveals the complicated emotional interactions hidden within couples' most private moments. Resurrecting Sex speaks of compassion, partnership, generosity, and integrity in adult sexual relationships, offering hope to millions of people who are struggling with sexual difficulties. Uplifting, provocative, and heartfelt, the book is organized into four sections: A crash course in sex Explanation of how sexual relationships really work Medical options and bionic solutions Vignettes of couples changing their sexual relationships Resurrecting Sex addresses all major sexual issues, including male erection problems such as rapid orgasm and delayed orgasm; women's problems with arousal and lubrication, difficulty reaching orgasm, and low desire; full coverage of Viagra (for both men and women); and other sex-enhancing drugs and medical options. Rather than dwelling on sexual techniques, this sympathetic book shows how to cure the rejection, hostility, and emotional alienation that often accompany sexual problems. Its unique method helps couples develop the love, affection, and commitment that prevent divorce and strengthen families.

The exercises in this book--to be done both with and without a partner--increase the sensual awareness of touch and encourage individuals to focus on their own desire, as well as looking for ways to please their partner.