My Cat Is An Asshole

Like any normal cat, Tobey wants love, affection and attention. Sometimes he shows this very well, other times he is an ass hole. Follow us on his journey as he shows his love and annoyance. You will discover how Tobey rubs his nasty lips on everything in sight, performs the one-leg salute and bugs the hell out of me.

Most people love cats. They’re fluffy, playful, and can be a joy to have as a companion. However, they can also be huge assholes. So what can you do? How do you deal with a roommate who always seems to be plotting to kill you? While we all love sharing adorable photos of kittens, these frisky felines are known more for marching to the beat of their own drum than abiding by the rules. From running around your home at two in the morning, knocking everything off your shelves, or taking up most of your bed, these furry critters can be immensely selfish and disrespectful to those who give them endless love and affection. Why Cats Are Assholes is up for such a challenge. From studying their history all the way back to ancient Egypt, comedian Liz Miele—the daughter of veterinarians—digests the cat psyche to try and understand why they do the things they do, and how we, as their loyal servants, can handle domestic bliss with them around. With the help of her cat Pasta, Miele breaks down the common behaviors of cats in an attempt to try and better understand their plan of attack (if there is one), as well as what we can do to better prepare ourselves. Whether you have one, two, or twelve fur babies, Why Cats Are Assholes is the ultimate guide to better understanding your pet’s behavior while taking back your home from these domesticated terrorists.

Is your asshole cat frustrating you with their bad behavior? Take out your frustrations coloring this book instead of taking it out on your asshole cat. 20 one sided pages of cats being assholes to choose from!

This hilariously inappropriate coloring book is a perfect stress reliever for when you are having a rough day. Color your way to relaxation with this funny cat sweary book. With 32 unique pages for you to color! This coloring book is one sided. It has a fun cartoony style along with silly quotes and phrases to make you laugh.

Cats are fuzzy cute little assholes. This journal prompts you to write down what your fuzzy little asshole did today. Each prompt also includes a real life thing that my own asshole cats have done to me. Write down anything you want in here. It is a lined journal to write your thoughts down on. Use this journal as a conversation piece on a coffee table if you want. Encourage your friends to write their own cat stories in this journal also. This journal can also be used as a notebook diary.

America's favorite cat behavior expert, author of Catwise and Cat vs. Cat, offers the most complete resource for cat owners of all stripes, now fully updated. "The queen of cat behavior" - Steve Dale, author of My Pet World Think it's impossible to train a cat? Think again! By learning how to think like a cat, you'll be amazed at just how easy it is. Whether you are a veteran cat lover, a brand-new owner of a sweet kitten, or the frustrated companion of a feline whose driving you crazy, Pam Johnson-Bennett will help you understand what makes your cat tick (as well as scratch and purr). Topics range from where to get a cat to securing a vet; from basic health care to treating more serious problems; choosing an inrresistible scratching post and avoiding litterbox problems. A comprehensive guide to cat care and training, she helps you understand the instincts that guide feline behavior. Using behavior modification and play therapy techniques, she shares successful methods that will help you and your cat build a great relationship.

For whatever reason, you've decided to share your home with a four-legged asshole. It's OK, cat lovers everywhere just love to have all their shit broken, their lives interrupted, and survive attempts to kill them, all the behest of a creature incapable of feeling love or affection toward their human. Now here's a journal to track all of your cat's assholery! You can also include a running tab of all the damage Mister Whiskers has done - don't forget to include your bill for therapy!

"I have to hand it to Bradshaw and Ellis: Once you suss out their basic cat-training philosophy, their methods totally work." -- Slate We often assume that cats can't be trained, and don't need to be. But in The Trainable Cat, bestselling anthrozoologist John Bradshaw and cat expert Sarah Ellis show that cats absolutely must be trained in order to enrich the bond between pet and owner. Full of training tips and exercises -- from introducing your cat to a new baby to helping them deal with visits to the vet -- The Trainable Cat is the essential cat bible for cat owners and lovers. "I doubt you'll find a more well-informed or scientific book on cats that better shows you how feline thinking works." -- Times (UK)

The author of Straw Dogs, famous for his provocative critiques of scientific hubris and the delusions of progress and humanism, turns his attention to cats—and what they reveal about humans' torturous relationship to the world and to themselves. The history of philosophy has been a predictably tragic or comical succession of palliatives for human disquiet. Thinkers from Spinoza to Berdyaev have pursued the perennial questions of how to be happy, how to be good, how to be loved, and how to live in a world of change and loss. But perhaps we can learn more from cats--the animal that has most captured our imagination--than from the great thinkers of the world. In Feline Philosophy, the philosopher John Gray discovers in cats a way of living that is unburdened by anxiety and self-consciousness, showing how they embody answers to the big questions of love and attachment, mortality, morality, and the Self: Montaigne's house cat, whose un-examined life may have been the one worth living; Meo, the Vietnam War survivor with an unshakable capacity for "fearless joy"; and Colette's Saha, the feline heroine of her subversive short story "The Cat", a parable about the pitfalls of human jealousy. Exploring the nature of cats, and what we can learn from it, Gray offers a profound, thought-provoking meditation on the follies of human exceptionalism and our fundamentally vulnerable and lonely condition. He charts a path toward a life without illusions and delusions, revealing how we can endure both crisis and transformation, and adapt to a changed scene, as cats have always done.

Comedian and Live from Here head writer Tom Papa, author of Your Dad Stole My Rake, tackles the modern condition in a heartwarming group of short essays. Tom Papa is a little worried about you. You seem stressed, overworked and, frankly, a little mixed up. Everyone is fighting an overwhelming feeling that things are getting worse, that we should be doing more, that we’re not good enough. Well, life isn't perfect. There have always been problems and there always will be. You can fight for the things you believe in, you can work really, really hard, but you shouldn't lose track of the fact that while you’re doing all that, life is flying by at lightning-fast speed. If you actually take a breath and look around you’ll realize you’re actually doing great. Here’s the thing: We live in an amazing time filled with airplanes, scooters, and peanut butter cups. We have air conditioning, blenders, and martini shakers. It's time to refocus, enjoy it all, and stop waiting for something better! Relax with comedian and Live from Here writer and performer Tom Papa as he explores his favorite subjects in 75 essays, including: You Don't Have to Live Your Best Life Don't Open the Mail I'm So Baked I Love Your Love Handles Don't Go Tubing Shut Up and Eat Recalibrate, turn off your device, and open your eyes to a better reality: You’re doing great!