Mr Dirty

The scores of new jokes in this volume are way too dirty and offensive to be repeated here. Author Mr. "K" offers a variety of filthy, furiously funny, and totally tasteless jokes. Buy this book and become the life of any party -- or get kicked out of it!

Monk's house is being fumigated, and he has nowhere to go. Fortunately, his assistant Natalie and her daughter are kind enough to welcome him into their home. Unfortunately, their home is not quite up to Monk's standards of cleanliness and order. But while Monk attempts to arrange his surroundings just so, something else needs to be put straight. The death of a dog at the local firehouse-on the same night as a fatal house fire-has led Monk into a puzzling mystery. And much to his horror, he's going to have to dig through a lot of dirt to find the answer.

An elite Navy SEAL Team 6 operator trained to kill the United States’ most dangerous enemies takes readers inside the unadulterated, morally complicated and riveting post-military adventures of a lethal American mercenary. In American Mercenary, Daniel Corbett takes readers on a wild ride through the unadulterated, morally ambiguous, and riveting world of being a hired gun. From Abu Dhabi to Washington, DC, Cairo to San Diego, Belgrade to places that must remain secret, this is a world where money rules, and where adventure, danger, and absurdity often follow. A star high school athlete, Corbett passed on a Division I football career and opted for the US Navy. He began his career at SEAL Team 5 and eventually checked into SEAL Team 6. The navy spent millions teaching him and his fellow Team members how to sneak, subvert, recruit, disappear, survive, resist, and exert. And of course, how to shoot, a discipline at which Corbett excelled. What the navy did not do was prepare these men for post-military lives beyond the usual suite of veterans’ benefits and unimaginative job-training programs. So what does Corbett do? He goes private. There are still plenty of bad men in the world, and the only sin worse than wasting talent in dead-end pursuits is not using it at all. He starts small, but quickly moves up. The work is simultaneously familiar and foreign. The command structure is shady. The clients are dubious. The equipment is subpar. But what the fuck: the pay is good. Then things change in 2017 when Corbett is arrested on a job in Belgrade, Serbia. When the authorities discover he’s a Navy SEAL, they imagine the worst: he’s in Belgrade to assassinate the Serbian president. They throw Corbett in jail, where he spends the next 18 months making international headlines and fighting for his freedom in a kangaroo court. Ultimately, American Mercenary highlights the struggle of many veterans: how to reconcile military service with civilian life. For Corbett, becoming a mercenary isn’t just the best option, it feels like the only option. It’s a lot better than drowning in a bottle or holding a pistol under your chin and pulling the trigger, but is it enough?

I have a dirty mouth. That's the truth. Women love it. And I have no plans on changing. Why would I? I like my life. The women, the partying, the fun. Until I meet my new neighbour. She's messing with my good thing. She's annoying, and persistent, and a pain in the...well you get the idea. She's also gorgeous, and smart...and completely immune to me. And now she needs my help with a little Ex payback and I'm more than happy to lend my expertise. Now all I have to do is keep from falling for her in the process. How hard can that be?

Dirty Money is the first novel in a new trilogy by a promising new Swedish author, P.I. Foate. Readers will be captivated and enthralled by this gripping and intense drama about events and people whose paths were changed by the horrifying events of September 11, 2001. In 2007, Peter Wall appears to lead an ordinary, although not entirely law-abiding, middle-class life in Manchester, England. Suddenly, his luck comes to an end and he fears that his money-laundering scheme is about to be discovered by the authorities. He makes a run for it, taking with him the money of some of his sinister clients. Peter cleverly evades both sets of pursuers by leaving a false trail across Europe. As his pursuers close in on him on the Greek island of Mykonos, it seems as if the end is near, not only for Peter but also for his clients, who, unknown to them, are also being investigated by the authorities. All is, however, not as it seems. Peter has a secret, which only two of his closest friends know. Dick Monson and Christos Xenitidis have been working together for years in a secret anti-terrorism unit of MI5. Is Peter ready to join them or is it too late for him to redeem himself? Follow what happens next in this suspenseful saga about the efforts of these dedicated men in their journey towards justice, in this novel and the remaining two novels in the trilogy, The Forgotten Children and Its Never too Late.

What is there against a Baboon's Left Testicle? And before you all scream "The right one of course!" I feel duty bound to inform you that, in this case, you would be mistaken, for our baboon has suffered a most intimate and injurious injustice - his right testicle has been wrenched from its furry pouch by a person, or persons, unknown in order to fulfil a long held prophesy and set afoot plans for world domination. And herein lies the confusion in our tale - does the offending scrotal raider have the right one for the job or is it the wrong one, being the right one? Set alongside this an unlikely group of misfits - including some completely oblivious newly-weds, a 200 year old, dead, gay, unidextrous pie maker and his curious short arsed lover by the name of Gerard O'nad, a murderous army of Welsh zombies and an all stitching, all dancing counter-army of equally murderous Pearly Kings and Queens and you have an almighty pile of baboon excrement - but an equally almighty 'bloody good read!'

From USA TODAY bestselling author Mira Lyn Kelly... He's the NHL star everyone wants. She's the sports reporter who's been shutting him down since high school. He'll play dirty to get his girl. "Fun, addictive, and outrageously sexy! Dirty Player brought all the feels and left me panting for more!"~Annika Martin, New York Times bestselling author He'll play dirty to get his girl It started as a joke… A throw away promise between friends. A dare for a single kiss at our reunion and nothing more. But that kiss… That kiss was no joking matter. It was hot and wet. A hands-everywhere, breathless kind of insanity that left us both teetering on the brink. She’s got rules about dating guys like me… Rules I respect the hell out of when they apply to any other pro athlete. But as they apply to me? Well, those rules are about to be broken.

Giant Book of Dirty Jokes is a collection of graphic, shocking, and especially funny jokes and anecdotes.