Is My Husband Gay Straight Or Bi

Jennifer can’t believe it. Just married and pregnant, she discovers that her husband has been meeting Brad for sex. When confronted, Tom doesn’t deny it, but he insists it’s just “a thing” and he isn’t gay. Elsewhere, John’s wife, Karen, discovers that her husband likes to watch gay porn. John doesn’t understand his wife’s reaction. Why does she care what he watches if he’s not unfaithful? In couple’s therapy, Karen and Jennifer raise the same questions: Does this mean my husband is gay? Can my marriage survive? These and other stories illustrate the difficulties inherent when a wife or girlfriend finds out her man has had or wants to have sexual contact with other men. But many times, the man is not gay or even bisexual. Of course, some men with gay sexual interests are gay men in a process of self-discovery; they are “coming out.” These desires may only reflect a different side of a man’s sexuality or some response to childhood trauma or experiences they have not fully processed. Here Joe Kort and Alexander P. Morgan make the distinction between gay men and “straight men with gay interests” clearer to women who want to know how they can overcome these revelations. The authors explain the many reasons why straight men may be drawn to gay sex; how to tell whether a man is gay, straight, or bisexual; and what the various options are for these couples, who can often go on to have very fulfilling marriages. Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi? is intended to help couples understand how male sexuality can express itself in ways that may be difficult to understand. Many marriages have been hurriedly terminated when couples (and their therapists) have lacked the information they needed to understand their current situations. This book provides the clarity, describes the choices, and (in many cases) offers hope for relationships and marriages that have been brushed off as doomed.

"Over the Cliff" is a self-help book for husbands and wives living in straight/gay marriages. Over three million gay men in the United States and millions more around the world are living double lives in marriages to women due to societal pressures or a lack of understanding their homosexuality at the time of marriage. This book has over a dozen interviews with men who have lived through this experience and offer their insights to others. The book is co-authored by Bonnie Kaye, M.Ed., an internationally recognized counseling specialist for straight wives married to gay men and Doug Dittmer, a gay husband peer counselor who has worked with Kaye over the past five years helping numerous gay men in marriages come to terms with their homosexuality so they can move on to more fulfilling lives. About the Authors Bonnie Kaye is an internationally recognized Relationship Counselor/Author in the field of straight/gay marriages. She has provided relationship counseling for over 25 years with more than 70,000 women who have sexually dysfunctional husbands due to homosexuality, bisexuality, transgenderism or sexual addictions. She is considered an authority in this field by other professionals and the media. Kaye has published five books on straight/gay relationships, which have sold thousands of copies. Her website www.Gayhusbands.com has consistently remained in the number one position on Google, Yahoo, and other major search engines since it's launching in 2000. When media contacts want an expert, they come to Bonnie Kaye who has more experience and expertise than any other person in this country. Her official book website is located at www.BonnieKayeBooks.com. Kaye's other books include: "The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder; Doomed Grooms: Gay Husbands of Straight Wives; ManReaders: A Woman's Guide to Dysfunctional Men; Straight Wives: Shattered Lives; Bonnie Kaye's Straight Talk;" and "How I Made My Husband Gay: Myths About Straight Wives." With over 30 years experience in business management, Talent Acquisition and Executive Recruitment, Doug Dittmer's career has depended on his ability to coach clients and employees in problem resolution. Eighteen years into his marriage, Doug faced his own crisis and announced that he was gay. In 1981 Doug put his skills to work to fight discrimination against lesbian, gay and bisexual people. Doug began as a Legislative Lobbyist for the Michigan Organization for Human Rights (MOHR), the State's premier gay rights organization. Within a short time he was elected as the group's Education Officer, charged with the responsibility of educating the general public about lesbian and gay issues. Doug went on to be elected President of the organization. Under his leadership, a task force of volunteer litigation attorneys was recruited to overturn Michigan's sodomy statutes. Two years later, in MOHR v. Kelly, MOHR achieved that objective when the Wayne County Circuit Court ruled the statute as unconstitutional. In November 1985, the Detroit City Council recognized his achievements and leadership in the area of human rights by awarding him the Spirit of Detroit Award. Over the years since, Doug has reached out to other gay men coming to terms with their sexuality in mid-life, acting as peer counselor and coach.

A different look at heterosexuality in the twenty-first century A straight white girl can kiss a girl, like it, and still call herself straight—her boyfriend may even encourage her. But can straight white guys experience the same easy sexual fluidity, or would kissing a guy just mean that they are really gay? Not Gay thrusts deep into a world where straight guy-on-guy action is not a myth but a reality: there’s fraternity and military hazing rituals, where new recruits are made to grab each other’s penises and stick fingers up their fellow members’ anuses; online personal ads, where straight men seek other straight men to masturbate with; and, last but not least, the long and clandestine history of straight men frequenting public restrooms for sexual encounters with other men. For Jane Ward, these sexual practices reveal a unique social space where straight white men can—and do—have sex with other straight white men; in fact, she argues, to do so reaffirms rather than challenges their gender and racial identity. Ward illustrates that sex between straight white men allows them to leverage whiteness and masculinity to authenticate their heterosexuality in the context of sex with men. By understanding their same-sex sexual practice as meaningless, accidental, or even necessary, straight white men can perform homosexual contact in heterosexual ways. These sex acts are not slippages into a queer way of being or expressions of a desired but unarticulated gay identity. Instead, Ward argues, they reveal the fluidity and complexity that characterizes all human sexual desire. In the end, Ward’s analysis offers a new way to think about heterosexuality—not as the opposite or absence of homosexuality, but as its own unique mode of engaging in homosexual sex, a mode characterized by pretense, dis-identification and racial and heterosexual privilege. Daring, insightful, and brimming with wit, Not Gay is a fascinating new take on the complexities of heterosexuality in the modern era.

“These women demonstrate the will to survive intact . . . Their passage to wholeness exemplifies forgiveness, growth, healing, hope, and sometimes reconciliation.”—from MY HUSBAND IS GAY Carol and Jim were high school sweethearts who married in their early twenties. Thirty years and two children later, Jim announced to his wife that he was homosexual. A fundamentalist Christian, he had been leading a double life for years. In an effort to sort out her pain and confusion, Carol Grever sought out other heterosexual women, of all ages, ethnicities, and educational backgrounds, who were married to gay men. The stories she uncovered examine their coping strategies and form the basis of this manual for healing.

Based on research, the author explores in this publication the personal stories of forty young men to help us understand the biological and psychological factors that led them to become mostly straight and the cultural forces that are loosening the sexual bind that many boys and young men experience.

Openly gay therapist Joe Kort provides 10 powerful and positive steps gay men can take to isolate and overcome self-defeating behavior patterns, and move in healthier and more rewarding directions: Take Charge of Their Own Lives Affirm Themselves by Coming Out Resolve Differences With Parents and Relatives 'Graduate' From Delayed Adolescence Avoid - or Overcome - Sexual Addiction -Learn from Successful Mentors Whove Been There, Done That Take Advantage of 'Therapy Workouts' Achieve - and Maintain - Rewarding Relationships Understand the Stages of Loves Commit to Their Partner.These solid and reliable 'Top 10' life steps that have been most helpful to Joe Korts clients in his 16 years of working with hundreds of gay men, are presented in an engaging and easy-to-understand manner and are supplemented by case histories from his practice. These are time-tested, practical decisions gay men can make in their search for emotional, sexual and personal fulfillment

Signs of a Gay Husband is based on real life events describing closeted gay husband behaviors. The book covers anger, abuse, and deception in marriages.

No one raises an eyebrow if you suggest that a guy who arranges his furniture just so, rolls his eyes in exaggerated disbelief, likes techno music or show tunes, and knows all of Bette Davis's best lines by heart might, just possibly, be gay. But if you assert that male homosexuality is a cultural practice, expressive of a unique subjectivity and a distinctive relation to mainstream society, people will immediately protest. Such an idea, they will say, is just a stereotype-ridiculously simplistic, politically irresponsible, and morally suspect. The world acknowledges gay male culture as a fact but denies it as a truth. David Halperin, a pioneer of LGBTQ studies, dares to suggest that gayness is a specific way of being that gay men must learn from one another in order to become who they are. Inspired by the notorious undergraduate course of the same title that Halperin taught at the University of Michigan, provoking cries of outrage from both the right-wing media and the gay press, How To Be Gay traces gay men's cultural difference to the social meaning of style. Far from being deterred by stereotypes, Halperin concludes that the genius of gay culture resides in some of its most despised features: its aestheticism, snobbery, melodrama, adoration of glamour, caricatures of women, and obsession with mothers. The insights, impertinence, and unfazed critical intelligence displayed by gay culture, Halperin argues, have much to offer the heterosexual mainstream.

Dr. Loren A. Olson has frequently been asked two questions: How could you not know that you were gay until the age of forty? Wasn't your marriage just a sham to protect yourself at your wife's expense? In Finally Out, Dr. Olson answers these questions by telling the inspiring story of his evolving sexuality, into which he intelligently weaves psychological concepts and gay history. This book is a powerful exploration of human sexuality, particularly the sexuality of mature men who, like Dr. Olson, lived a large part of their lives as straight men--sometimes long after becoming aware of their same-sex attractions. Readers will come to understand: - That there is no universal model for coming out - Why many older LGBTQ men came out late, do not come out at all, or come out to varying degrees in different environments - How stigma has created mental health problems for isolated and closeted men who have sex with men, particularly in geographical areas and cultures where there is little or no acceptance of homosexuality - How sexual function changes but perhaps even improves for older men - That aging creates opportunities that one has never had and may never have again, e.g., freedom from the tyranny of ambition - That some people consistently prefer an older sexual partner and this can lead to stable, intergenerational relationships - How same-sex sexual activity was considered prior to the Stonewall uprising in 1969 contrasted with the way it is perceived after Stonewall - How age, culture, geographical location, heterosexual marriage, and children impact a person's decision to come out - Why "conversion therapy" does not work and may be harmful - The difference between homophobia and homonaïveté - The archetypes of self-identified straight men who seek occasional or regular sex with other men - How to overcome the shame and guilt experienced by men who are sexually attracted to other men

How I Made My Husband Gay is a self-help book for women who learn or suspect that they may be married to a gay/bisexual man. Compiled, edited, and contributed to by Bonnie Kaye, M. Ed., the international expert in the field of straight/gay marriages, this book helps women by revealing the signs and patterns in their marriages that could be Red Flags. There are 35 stories from members of Kaye's international support group who talk about those signs they initially missed, as well as how they were blamed by their gay husbands for the failures in the marriages. Kaye also has her women discuss ways that they caught their husbands, as well as how they started over after ending the marriage which she refers to as a mis-marriage or a mistake of a marriage. About the Author: Kaye has counseled more than 30,000 straight women and 2,000 gay men since 1984 after the demise of her own marriage to a gay man. She hits home the message that gay men have no choice in their homosexuality - but they do have a choice in being honest about it. She works with women to help them rebuild their lives after the end of their marriages, and strongly advocates divorce in an amicable way whenever possible. Kaye consults for the major news media, and her website at www.Gayhusbands.com is used as a resource for shows including Oprah, Montel, and Tyra Banks. She has appeared on numerous national news shows including CNN and FOX News with her message that homosexuality does not belong in a marriage to a straight partner. Kaye is also a strong advocate for gay rights and publicly speaks about the need for society to accept gay people for who they are instead of fighting to change them into who they are not. This is Kaye's fourth book on this topic. Her other books include Is He Straight? A Checklist for Women Who Wonder, Doomed Grooms: Gay Husbands of Straight Wives, and Straight Wives: Shattered Lives.