How It Feels To Have A Gay Or Lesbian Parent

In their own words, children of different ages talk about how and when they learned of their gay or lesbian parent's sexual orientation, and the effect it has had on them.

Sometimes I fantasize about having a magic wand. How awesome it would be to wave it and completely eliminate prejudice, hate, and ignorance. Just imagine what it would be like to live in a world like that. How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids of All Ages gives voice to the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of children, adolescents, and young adults who have a gay or lesbian parent. In their own words, they talk openly and candidly about how and when they learned of their parent’s sexual orientation and the effect it had on them—and their families. Their stories echo themes of prejudice and harassment, conflict and confusion, adaptation and adjustment, and hope for tolerance and a family that can exist in harmony. “Because it’s an issue for other people, it becomes an issue for me. I’m angry about the way it works against me.” The stories told in How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent not only reflect the day-to-day struggle of children with a GLBT parent, they also reveal the pain inherent in high-conflict divorce and child custody cases. Children of gay/lesbian parents ranging in age from seven to 31 recall the confusion and grief created when the disclosure of their parent’s true sexual orientation ended a marriage and divided a family. The “straight” parent’s resentment can lead to angry remarks that—intentionally or unintentionally—disparage the gay/lesbian parent and threaten the natural love and affection the child feels for both. “I guess the hardest part about having a gay dad is that no matter how okay you are with it, there’s always going to be someone who will dislike you because of it.” The one-on-one interviews presented in How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent document first-hand the effects of homophobia on family life. Children struggle with the choice between living in a closet, shamed by peers and family members, or dealing with discrimination as a parent’s sexual orientation is used against them. Taken together, these stories make a statement for acceptance, understanding, and tolerance as children do their best to make the transition from a traditional family to a nontraditional lifestyle. “My mom is a normal person just like everyone else. The only thing that’s different about her is that she’s gay and if you can’t deal with it, you’re just going to have to live with it.” How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids of All Ages offers comfort and support to children from those who share their journey. The book is a valuable aid for practitioners working with children of GLBT parents and an educational tool for GLBT adults considering children.

What is it really like to grow up with gay parents? Abigail Garner was five years old when her mother and father divorced and her dad came out as gay. Growing up immersed in gay culture, she now calls herself a "culturally queer" heterosexual woman. As a child, she often found herself in the middle of the political and moral debates surrounding lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) parenting. At the age of twenty-two, she began to speak publicly about her family and has since become a nationally recognized advocate for the estimated 10 million children growing up with LGBT parents. The creator of FamiliesLikeMine.com, Garner has written a deeply personal and much-needed book about gay parenting, from the seldom-heard perspective of grown children raised in these families. Based on eight years of activism, combined with interviews with more than fifty sons and daughters, Families Like Mine debunks the anti-gay myth that these children grow up damaged and confused. At the same time, Garner's book refutes the popular pro-gay sentiment that these children turn out "just like everyone else." In addition to the typical stresses of growing up, the unique pressures these children face are not due to their parents' sexuality, but rather to homophobia and prejudice. Using a rich blend of journalism and memoir, Garner offers empathetic yet unapologetic opinions about the gifts and challenges of being raised in families that are often labeled "controversial." As more LGBT people are pursuing parenthood and as the visibility of gay parenting is rapidly increasing, many of the questions about these families focus on the "best interests" of their children. Eloquent and sophisticated, Families LikeMine addresses these questions, providing an invaluable insider's perspective for LGBT parents, their families, and their allies.

PAPERBACK ORIGINAL A stunning new photobook featuring more than fifty portraits of children brought up by gay parents in America, sixth in a groundbreaking series that looks at LGBTQ communities around the world Judges, academics, and activists keep wondering how children are impacted by having gay parents. Maybe it’s time to ask the kids. For the past four years, award-winning photographer Gabriela Herman, whose mother came out when Herman was in high school and was married in one of Massachusetts’ first legal same-sex unions, has been photographing and interviewing children and young adults with one or more parent who identify as lesbian, gay, trans, or queer. Building on images featured in a major article for the New York Times Sunday Review and The Guardian and working with the Colage organization, the only national organization focusing on children with LGBTQ parents, The Kids brings a vibrant energy and sensitivity to a wide range of experiences. Some of the children Herman photographed were adopted, some conceived by artificial insemination. Many are children of divorce. Some were raised in urban areas, other in the rural Midwest and all over the map. These parents and children juggled silence and solitude with a need to defend their families on the playground, at church, and at holiday gatherings. This is their story. The Kids was designed by Emerson, Wajdowicz Studios (EWS).

An advocate and son of same-gender parents recounts his famed address to the Iowa House of Representatives on civil unions, and describes his positive experiences of growing up in an alternative family in spite of prejudice.

Candlewick relaunches a modern classic for this generation with a beautifully illustrated edition. Heather’s favorite number is two. She has two arms, two legs, and two pets. And she also has two mommies. When Heather goes to school for the first time, someone asks her about her daddy, but Heather doesn’t have a daddy. Then something interesting happens. When Heather and her classmates all draw pictures of their families, not one drawing is the same. It doesn’t matter who makes up a family, the teacher says, because “the most important thing about a family is that all the people in it love one another.” This delightful edition for a new generation of young readers features fresh illustrations by Laura Cornell and an updated story by Lesléa Newman.

A loving mother shares her journey of parenting a gender creative child, from toddler to adult.

Written in an accessible Q&A format, here, finally, is the go-to resource for parents hoping to understand and communicate with their gay child. Through their LGBTQ-oriented site, the authors are uniquely experienced to answer parents' many questions and share insight and guidance on both emotional and practical topics. Filled with real-life experiences from gay kids and parents, this is the book gay kids want their parents to read.

Each year a number of brave men and women will sit down and tell their parents that they are gay. By the time they tell their parents they will have lived with this knowledge for some time. It is often the parents who have only a split second to react. My Child is Gay is a compilation of letters written by parents who have a gay or lesbian child. The letters have been written to be shared - both to help parents cope with and come to term with their feelings, and for gay men and women who are contemplating sharing the truth. Few parents are accepting from the start and many feel perplexed. They are unsure where to turn to for help and how to deal with their feelings of grief and loss. Here the parents talk about how they dealt with the many emotions they experienced - anger, embarrassment, guilt and confusion. Together these letters reaffirm the regenerative power of love and allow those with first hand experience to outline the important steps on the road to understanding. My Child is Gay shows how ordinary families have found love and happiness again.

"Inside of our head is where our smarts are," she said to herself, "And this princess is very smart." Chloe dreams of being a ballerina princess. But today she is not practicing her twirls or leaping from room to room. She digs deep in her art drawer to find what she needs to craft her very own princess ballerina. The project quickly turns into more than a simple princess drawing. Chloe realizes that princesses are not just about beautiful hair and sparkly dresses. As her work of art comes to life, she discovers the qualities of character that make up her princess. When she feels insecure about an imperfection in her art, her dad's point out that the personal quirks make her princess unique! And Chloe realizes that she is not too different from the princess she so admires. "When you know what you want, not much can stop you." Princesses can look all kinds of ways. What kind of princess are you? "Filled with the fuel young girls need to believe in themselves, this book carries the right message at the right time for the next generation of brave young women. It's a must read!" - Katherine Wintsch, Founder and CEO of The Mom Complex "...a breath of fresh air for children of different ages, providing the very essence that children can have dreams and be very creative with those dreams."- Erika Tranfield, Director and Co-founder of Pride Angel