God Hates Abuse

"God hates divorce!" Christian wives frequently hear this first part of Malachi 2:16 as though the institution of marriage trumps the lives wrapped up in it. Rarely quoted is the second part of the verse, which says, "along with the one who conceals his violence by outward appearances." Christian wives often think they must choose between two grim options: endure abuse or face condemnation by God for not obeying the Bible. As a result, guilt, despair, internal conflict and heartache cloak every moment as they cling to survival, trying to please both God and their husband. The future looks hopeless, and their identity and value obscured. Children grow up as secondary victims of domestic abuse, desensitized to God's ways and primed to continue the cycle of abuse as adults. Drawing from her own experience married to a dangerously abusive "Christian" man, Robin explores the common reluctance of Christian wives to leave their marriage. After fleeing her own marriage, Robin suffered from guilt and confusion as to whether God approved of her actions or not, and if she could divorce. After months of Bible study and reading the works of respected theologians and Christian leaders on the topic, she realized that in leaving her abusive marriage she had actually come into alignment with God's will. Robin understands the mentality and nature of abuse that drives these spiritually destructive marriages. She draws from a deep well of biblical insight and practical experience to give wives the tools necessary to be set free and live a life of hope, clarity and faith. God Hates Abuse is a biblically liberating and refreshing resource for Christian wives. It offers a lifeline out of the darkness of abuse and spiritual condemnation. Victims of spousal abuse will find this book validating, encouraging and healing, regardless if they are bound by their abuser or by errant teaching from the church.

One out of three married women sitting in an average conservative Christian church is in a confusing and painful marriage relationship. Those women believe they are alone. I want them to know they aren't. They believe they can't find peace. I want them to know they can. They believe they don't have choices. I want them to know they do.This book isn't for the parents who raised them. It's not for the pastors who condemn them. It's not for the friends who don't understand them. And it's not for the partner who dehumanizes them. This book is for the woman in the pew who somehow, by God's divine intervention, finds it in her hand and has to catch her breath because she suddenly feels like she's free falling.I wrote this book just for you. Let's dig in.

This book, written by a survivor of domestic abuse, explains the dilemmas of abuse victims, carefully examines the Scripture and scholarly research, and shows how the Bible sets victims of abuse free from bondage and guilt. Key concepts are: The Bible distinguishes between "treacherous divorce" and "disciplinary divorce", prohibiting the former and permitting the latter in serious cases of abuse, adultery or desertion. If the offending partner was sexually immoral, or abused, deserted, or unjustly dismissed the other, and has been judged to be "as an unbeliever," the Bible allows the non-offending, mistreated partner to remarry.

You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce. And get this, God will still love you. Really. Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect? If yes, you know you need to escape, but you're probably worried about going against God's will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you. In "The Life-Saving Divorce" You'll Learn: - How to know if you should stay or if you should go.- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse. - Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren't true for many Christians. - Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children. - How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce. - How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce. Can you find happiness after leaving your destructive marriage? Absolutely yes! You can get your life back and flourish more than you thought possible. Are you ready? Then let's go. It's time to be free. This book includes multiple first-person interviews. Explains psychological abuse, gaslighting, the abuse cycle, Christian divorce and remarriage, children and divorce, domestic violence, parental alienation, mental abuse, and biblical reasons for divorce. Includes diagrams such as the Duluth Wheel of Power and Control (the Duluth Model) and the Abuse Cycle, as well as graphs based on Paul Amato's 2003 study analyzing Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. Includes quotes by Leslie Vernick, Lundy Bancroft, Shannon Thomas, David Instone-Brewer, Natalie Hoffman, LifeWay Research, Kathleen Reay, Gottman Institute, Glenda Riley, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Steven Stosny, Michal Gilad, Leonie Westenberg, Nancy Nason-Clark, Julie Owens, Marg Mowczko, Justin Holcomb, Barna Group, Justin Lehmiller, Alan Hawkins, Brian Willoughby, William Doherty, Brad Wright, Bradford Wilcox, Sheila Gregoire, E Mavis Hetherington, John Kelly, Betsey Stevenson, Justin Wolfers, Norm Wright, Virginia Rutter, Judith Herman, and Bessel van der Kolk. Recommended reading list includes: Henry Cloud, John Townsend Boundaries books, Richard Warshack books.

Is it My Fault? proclaims the gospel of healing and hope to victims who know too well the depths of destruction and the overwhelming reality of domestic violence. At least one in every three women have been beaten, coerced into sex, or abused in their lifetime. The effects of domestic violence are physical, social, emotional, psychological, and spiritual, and can have long-lasting distressing consequences. It is common for victims of domestic violence to suffer from ongoing depression and recurring nightmares, self-harm, such as cutting, panic attacks, substance abuse, and more. This book exists to address the abysmal issues of domestic violence using the powerful and transforming biblical message of grace and redemption. Is It My Fault? convincingly shows that the Lord is the only one who can heal the despairing victim. It deals with this devastating problem and sin honestly and directly without hiding its prevalence today.

Could it be that the one who is smiling at you as he hands you the offering plate is abusing his wife at home? What if your Sunday school teacher, who knows so much about the Bible, is abusing his family behind closed doors? Is it possible that one of the elders or even the pastor of your church is practicing an unholy charade? If the spouse of one of these abusers comes to you for help, would you even be able to recognize the signs? How will you understand the dynamics of this deceiving evil? Pastor and author Jeff Crippen presents Christ's body with a work steeped in Scripture that lays before us a map of the abusive mind, the tactics of abuse, the effects abuse has on its victims, and the tragic way our churches have failed the victims of this sin. He issues a clarion call for those who love Christ to answer the call to love the oppressed and speak for the victims, as Proverbs 31:9 says: "Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy." Together we can root out the wolves in the midst of the flock and unmask the domestic abuser in the church hiding in our pews.

She's seen slave dungeons in Ghana. Genocide in Rwanda. Systemic sexual abuse in Brazil. Child abuse and domestic violence in the US. After forty years of counseling abuse survivors around the world, Dr. Diane Langberg, a world renowned trauma expert, remains certain that what trauma destroys, Christ can and does restore. This book will convince you, too, of the healing heart of God. But it's not a fast process, instead much patience is required from family, friends, and counselors as they wisely and respectfully help victims unpack their traumatic suffering through talking, tears, and time. And it's not a process that can be separated from the work of God in both a counselor and counselee. Dr. Langberg calls all of those who wish to help sufferers to model Jesus's sacrificial love and care in how they listen, love, and guide. The heart of God is revealed to sufferers as they grow to understand the cross of Christ and how their God came to this earth and experienced such severe suffering that he too is "well-acquainted with grief." The cross of Christ is the lens that transforms and redeems traumatic suffering and its aftermath, not only for the sufferer, but it also transforms those who walk with the suffering. This book will be a great help to anyone who loves, listens to, and seeks to help someone impacted by trauma and abuse. There is no quick fix, but there is the hope for healing through the love of God in Christ.

God's love is steadfast for survivors who chose to leave an abusive marriage but still suffer the aftershocks When someone leaves an abusive marriage, life isn't instantly fixed. Women who have experienced domestic violence feel shattered. Because of the trauma they've been through, a bond with their abuser has formed that keeps them tied together long after they've physically left. Karen DeArmond Gardner understands these difficulties all too well. She tackled all the same struggles when she left her own abusive marriage. And she intimately knows what women in this situation need in order to gain freedom from the lies of abuse-to be reborn as the people God longs for them to be. Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse isn't a how-to book with a few easy steps. Instead, it's a biblically based map for a long journey to healing. By recounting her own history--as well as the faithfulness of God when she was willing to follow His direction--Karen helps readers: discover there is life beyond abuse recognize God's relentless pursuit of their heart gain courage to release the trauma of their past regain life, hope, and wholeness in Jesus's healing love Gardner's inside perspective, strong voice, and incredible, vulnerable story of deliverance from the bonds of abuse allow readers to find themselves in her words and feel heard at last. She puts hope back in their hands, with the assurance that God loves them deeply and wants them to know they aren't defined by their trauma, their past, or their brokenness.

"This is a book that has no easy answers to the problems of childhood abuse. Instead, it tries to get behind the tough questions of why God permits such horrors to occur in this world. Using his own childhood as a launchpad, Mez McConnell tells us about a God who is just, sovereign and loving. A good father who knows the pain of rejection and abuse, who hates evil and who can bring hope even in the darkest place."--

In this thoroughly revised and updated edition, Catherine Clark Kroeger and Nancy Nason-Clark share with readers a further ten years of experience in listening to the voices of women from around the world and especially to those in the church. They help us hear their cries and find concrete ways to respond so that no home will be a place of abuse.