Everyday Cat Excuses

Welcome to the cat excuse universe! It's a place of fur balls, dead things turned into feline playthings, hours spent catnapping--and stubborn, naughty little creatures who do what they want, never what they're asked. Cats are full of excuses, so any human who happens to be owned by one should use this delightful comic collection to prepare for its sly explanations and justifications. A charmingly line-drawn, highly humorous, and personality-filled kitty presents all the reasons why "I can't." "I'm shedding, I'm salivating, I'm kneading" (but not needing) "you, my ears are rotating," Or she can't be bothered listening because she's having an intense catnip experience. Cat lovers will recognize every funny scenario...and their pets will want to sneak a peek to discover new ideas.

A fanciful, furry and wickedly funny cartoon look at the secret world of Cats, and the excuses they use to pass their time doing only what THEY want-not what YOU want.

Get ready, get set, MEOW! Are you ready for the truth? Can you even handle the TRUTH? For cat cartoon enthusiasts, the truth has arrived, in cartoonist Molly Brandenburg's THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS. It's the funny, furry, follow-up to Brandenburg's first book of cat cartoons, EVERYDAY CAT EXCUSES, the hilarious exploration of the inner life of cats, published by Sterling Books in 2008. Brandenburg's cartoons are also currently a regular feature of the political website Restoringtruthiness.org. THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS is a random series of cat cartoons that explores the major issues of the kitty universe, including theological concerns, sleeping in piles of other cats, and the real question of who exactly has first dibs on the kibble bowl. The book also introduces Frankie the cat, the loveably soulful cat with his eyes on a Hollywood career. In a series of lively line drawings, Frankie's story is revealed, as this weight-challenged black and white cat finds his status on the home front threatened when a tabby kitten moves in and takes over his special place on the bed. Small issues, perhaps, to humankind, but to a feline, finding the right place on the owner's bed is big time stuff, to be sure! THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS reveals all this and more. It's sure to be the cat's meow for cat lovers of every age. Available early November 2011 on Createspace.com and on Amazon.com! The truth is out there. And it's sure to have a lot of fleas

Dave has the usual adolescent problems, mitigated by the consoling company of his cat. Recounted with humor and a realistic teenage voice, this Newbery Award winner unfolds amid the excitement of 1960s New York City. "Superb." — The New York Times.

With famous Everyday Spooks (orig. publ. 1961), Prague-born Karel Michal presents an unforgettable assortment of fantastic creatures that inhabit his strange vision of everyday reality in '50s and '60s communist Czechoslovakia. Translated from the Czech by David Short and complemented with suitably eerie illustrations by Dagmar Hamsíková, this collection of seven short stories describes bizarre encounters where the past melts into the present, ordinary people meet comic and anxious figures and interact with ghosts, and mundane speech drifts repeatedly into absurdity. In Everyday Spooks, Karel Michal shares a forgotten world populated by murderous dwarves, cockabogies, ghosts, and the grotesque Doodledor. Written in the communist Czechoslovakia of the '50s and '60s, Michal's stories reflect a strange in-between-ness, a realm caught between medieval folklore and the oppressive modern state. Here, otherwise simple language that wouldn't be out of place in a children's book - indeed, translator David Short calls these 'grotesque fairy tales' - intermingles with discussion of quotas, class, and government agencies. This childish form allows Michal the freedom to address what he considers the injustices of the state, and subversively note the absurdities he finds in Czech culture. In each story, Michal seems to toy with his reader as he toys with his characters - and as a dead cat might toy with his prey. In "The Dead Cat," Michal plays with logic in the honorable tradition of Lewis Carroll: "'Now look here . . . iťs either or. Nobody can be two things at once. Either you're a dead cat, in which case you've no business speaking, or you're a live cat and then you've even less . . .'" Michal's dead cat engages in all kinds of sedition and blasphemy - to the horror of all who converse with him - but the story itself is genius, its cat utterly logical, jenseits von Gut und Böse: a thought-computer. In the body of this cat, in the guise of a children's tale, Michal speaks truth to the powers that be - and the unspeakable is spoken in each of these stories. Though the translation of Everyday Spooks has yielded some interesting phrases - colloquial Czech and rural accents abound, and Short interprets these with such locutions as 'soddin' superslut' and 'bog-trottin' bitch,' as well as other equally hilarious and bizarre expressions - despite these idiosyncrasies, or perhaps because of them, Michal's little book of tales is charming, an unlikely but enjoyable marriage of the odd old world and the absurd emerging new. Jeff Waxman, CONTEXT, Review of Contemporary Fiction, University of Illinois, Dalkey Archive Press, pp.244-45

Discover the secret thoughts of our cheeky yet charming pet cats, with 50 adorable, full-color photos of cats paired with their hilarious commentary. Ever wonder what devious plan your cat is thinking up next? Or why they insist on meowing at your door at 2 a.m.? In Let Me Knock That Off the Counter For You, our sweet but sassy feline friends impart their innermost thoughts and snarky reasons for why they walk around like they own the place. Packed with engaging photos and comical snippets of cat insight, this book helps us mere humans better appreciate those moments of happiness (and exasperation) we share with our cats every day.

Speak English with confidence in a wide range of everyday situations, from making small talk to booking a trip abroad. With more than 1,500 of the most useful phrases and common expressions, English for Everyone: Everyday English gives you all the English conversation skills you need to get by in the real world. This engaging and accessible book covers a wide range of real-life topics and scenarios - from everyday activities, such as going to the supermarket and making appointments, to key communication skills, such as comforting someone and dealing with conflict. You'll learn how to welcome visitors, ask for directions, give a presentation at work, find somewhere to live, order a meal out, and much, much more. Each short unit uses memorable, true-to-life dialogues to introduce a new topic, followed by practice exercises to reinforce the new words and phrases that you have learned. The dialogues are accompanied by attractive illustrations and brought to life by animated videos and audio featuring speakers of English as a first language, all available on the free English for Everyone website and app. Whether you need to learn English for work, study, travel, or relocation, English for Everyone: Everyday English is the perfect companion to help you take your English skills to the next level.

Here's a for a cat lover or anyone who has the patience to clean up after a puking pet . Writing pad says Sorry I'm late, I had to clean up all 9 places my cat puked . Awesome gift idea . 120 College Ruled White Pages 6"x9" Glossy Cover Great for writing projects, as a personal diary or a composition book Professional Quality Smooth paper for writingA perfect gift for adults, children, teens & tweens

The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family.

Military hero and beloved Dancing with the Stars alum Noah Galloway shares his life story, and how losing his arm and leg in combat forced him to relearn how to live--and live to the fullest. Inspirational, humorous, and thought provoking, Noah Galloway's LIVING WITH NO EXCUSES sheds light on his upbringing in rural Alabama, his military experience, and the battle he faced to overcome losing two limbs during Operation Iraqi Freedom. From reliving the early days of life to his acceptance of his "new normal" after losing his arm and leg in combat, Noah reveals his ambition to succeed against all odds. Noah's gripping story is a shining example that with laughter, and the right amount of perspective, you can tackle anything. Whether it be overcoming injury, conquering the Dancing with the Stars ballroom, or taking the next steps forward in life with his young family - Noah demonstrates how to live life to the fullest, with no excuses.