Eight Bit Bastards

When you've maxed out your level, done every quest, and defeated every enemy, there's not much left. So after seven centuries of immortality, Sean wants nothing more than to die. Afterall was touted as a paradise, an afterlife where anyone could pursue their interests, from archery to zookeeping. The gaming was the stuff of legend, but for Sean it had grown stale.But when a woman from a past life informs him of a real, flesh-and-blood descendant that has hacked his way in, Sean finds a new purpose. The AI doesn't take kindly to interlopers, and parks the intruder in the one realm so buggy that even the oldest, most powerful denizens of Afterall steer clear of it - the Bitrealm.Sean must enter a land created for the original gamers, people like him who cut their teeth on some of the first video games released to the public. Will Sean brave the pixelated wilderness of Bitrealm to rescue his lost kin? Or will he fall victim to the force that has been making people vanish? One thing's for certain, he can't do it alone. He's going to need a few members of his original guild. He's going to need some Eight-Bit Bastards.

Sean and the Bastards have entered the Bitrealm, and so far it hasn't been all 1-Ups and treasure. They've tracked Pliny down to a castle in the mountains to the north, and they'll need every bit of their skills, honed while playing some of the first and greatest video games, to survive its depths. But it won't be easy. The castle soon takes its toll, separating the party and pitting them against some of the most dangerous creatures they've faced yet-creatures that may not be what they seem. Something has been tormenting the souls of Afterall, transforming them into shadows of their former selves. And with every twist and turn the castle throws at them, that something is getting closer. Add in a devious AI, a skeleton who's watched too much TV, and more retro gaming goodness than you can shake a joystick at, and you have Eight-Bit Bastards: Level Two.Praise for Eight-Bit Bastards: Level One: "One of the most gamelike LitRPG stories that I've read in a long time...""This is by far one of the best LitRPGs I have read. It's funny, old school, and the writing is smooth.""More Ready Player One than Ready Player One" - Amazon Reviews

Half orc. All badass. A female chieftain in a brutal wasteland society fights to take what is hers in an action-packed, foul-mouthed fantasy adventure from the author of The Grey Bastards (“Nonstop action, though not for faint hearts.”—The Wall Street Journal). Fetching was once the only female rider in the Lot Lands. Now she is the proud leader of her own hoof, a band of loyal half-orcs sworn to her command. But in the year since she became chief, the Lots have tested her strength to the breaking point. The Bastards are scattered, desperate, their ranks weakened by a mysterious famine, their fortress reduced to smoldering slag. And their troubles are only growing. A pack of ravening beasts circles their camp, while grasping human nobles hatch a plan that will shift the balance of power in the Lots. Fetch and her comrades are still standing defiant—they’re Bastards, after all—but even the toughest half-orc can take only so much; and Fetch knows they’re on the verge of ruin. As she strives to lead her hoof to safety and unravel the plots set against them, Fetching must journey through forbidden elven lands, overcome long-standing hatreds, battle a monstrous wizard of terrifying power—and, worst of all, delve into the dark truths of her own existence. She’s no stranger to fighting the world, but on this journey, sharp steel and a strong hog won’t be enough. To survive these trials, she’ll have to defy not just her foes but the very nature of the Lots. The True Bastards is the sweeping, ambitious second entry in the Lot Lands series, an irresistibly thrilling, gritty, foul-mouthed adventure that deepens, expands—and again upends—the Bastards’ unforgettable world. Advance praise for The True Bastards “[An] action-packed sequel . . . the story is filled with relentless action and powered by a cast of adeptly developed and emotionally appealing characters. . . . Fans will be overjoyed not only with the return of some beloved characters, but also with the novel's conclusion, which sets up the storyline for a much larger adventure to come. Imagine an outlaw biker gang of half-orcs riding giant war pigs and you've captured this saga's gloriously dirty soul.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

Fantasy meets crime caper in the first book of a landmark, enduringly popular epic series about a roguish group of conmen, which George R. R. Martin has called “fresh, original, and engrossing . . . gorgeously realized.” An orphan’s life is harsh—and often short—in the mysterious island city of Camorr. But young Locke Lamora dodges relentless danger, becoming a thief under the tutelage of a gifted con artist. As leader of the band of light-fingered brothers known as the Gentlemen Bastards, Locke is soon infamous, fooling even the underworld’s most feared ruler. But in the shadows lurks someone still more ambitious and deadly. Faced with a bloody coup that threatens to destroy everyone and everything that holds meaning in his mercenary life, Locke vows to beat the enemy at his own brutal game—or die trying.

“[A] fantasy masterwork . . . a dirty, blood-soaked gem of a novel [that reads] like Mad Max set in Tolkien’s Middle-earth.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review) Jackal and his fellow half-orcs patrol the barren wastes of the Lot Lands, spilling their own damned blood to keep civilized folk safe. A rabble of hard-talking, hog-riding, whore-mongering brawlers they may be, but the Grey Bastards are Jackal’s sworn brothers, fighting at his side in a land where there’s no room for softness. And once Jackal’s in charge—as soon as he can unseat the Bastards’ tyrannical, seemingly unkillable founder—there’s a few things they’ll do different. Better. Or at least, that’s the plan. Until the fallout from a deadly showdown makes Jackal start investigating the Lot Lands for himself. Soon, he’s wondering if his feelings have blinded him to ugly truths about this world, and the Bastards’ place in it. In a quest for answers that takes him from decaying dungeons to the frontlines of an ancient feud, Jackal finds himself battling invading orcs, rampaging centaurs, and grubby human conspiracies alike—along with a host of dark magics so terrifying they’d give even the heartiest Bastard pause. Finally, Jackal must ride to confront a threat that’s lain in wait for generations, even as he wonders whether the Bastards can—or should--survive. Delivered with a generous wink to Sons of Anarchy, featuring sneaky-smart worldbuilding and gobs of fearsomely foul-mouthed charm, The Grey Bastards is a grimy, pulpy, masterpiece—and a raunchy, swaggering, cunningly clever adventure that’s like nothing you’ve read before. Praise for The Grey Bastards “Saddle up the war boar and set off on a wild, gory thrill-ride that ends in an awesome climax and begs for a sequel.”—Daily Mail (UK) “Non-stop action, though not for faint hearts . . . the Grey Bastards live up to their name in all respects.”—The Wall Street Journal

When Wicked Comes Calling . . . When a mysterious stranger finds his way into her bedchamber and offers his help in landing a duke, Lady Felicity Faircloth agrees—on one condition. She’s seen enough of the world to believe in passion, and won’t accept a marriage without it. The Wallflower Makes a Dangerous Bargain . . . Bastard son of a duke and king of London’s dark streets, Devil has spent a lifetime wielding power and seizing opportunity, and the spinster wallflower is everything he needs to exact a revenge years in the making. All he must do is turn the plain little mouse into an irresistible temptress, set his trap, and destroy his enemy. For the Promise of Passion . . . But there’s nothing plain about Felicity Faircloth, who quickly decides she’d rather have Devil than another. Soon, Devil’s carefully laid plans are in chaos and he must choose between everything he's ever wanted . . . and the only thing he's ever desired.

New York Times Bestselling Author Sarah MacLean returns with the next book in the Bareknuckle Bastards series about three brothers bound by a secret that they cannot escape—and the women who bring them to their knees. The Lady’s Plan When Lady Henrietta Sedley declares her twenty-ninth year her own, she has plans to inherit her father’s business, to make her own fortune, and to live her own life. But first, she intends to experience a taste of the pleasure she’ll forgo as a confirmed spinster. Everything is going perfectly…until she discovers the most beautiful man she’s ever seen tied up in her carriage and threatening to ruin the Year of Hattie before it’s even begun. The Bastard’s Proposal When he wakes in a carriage at Hattie’s feet, Whit, a king of Covent Garden known to all the world as Beast, can’t help but wonder about the strange woman who frees him—especially when he discovers she’s headed for a night of pleasure . . . on his turf. He is more than happy to offer Hattie all she desires…for a price. An Unexpected Passion Soon, Hattie and Whit find themselves rivals in business and pleasure. She won’t give up her plans; he won’t give up his power . . . and neither of them sees that if they’re not careful, they’ll have no choice but to give up everything . . . including their hearts.

From the concert stage to the dressing room, from the recording studio to the digital realm, SPIN surveys the modern musical landscape and the culture around it with authoritative reporting, provocative interviews, and a discerning critical ear. With dynamic photography, bold graphic design, and informed irreverence, the pages of SPIN pulsate with the energy of today's most innovative sounds. Whether covering what's new or what's next, SPIN is your monthly VIP pass to all that rocks.

The Eight Characters of Comedy is the “How-To” guide for actors & writers who want to break into the world of sitcoms. It has become a staple in acting classes, writers’ rooms, casting offices and production sets around the world. Now, in it’s exciting SECOND EDITION, renowned acting coach and bestselling author, Scott Sedita, gives you even MORE advice and exercises for breaking down comedy scripts, writing jokes and delivering them with comedic precision. Plus, you’ll find in-depth REVISED sections on Sitcom History, The Three Pillars of Comedy, Auditioning for Sitcoms, and his acclaimed comedic technique “The Sedita Method!” Most importantly, you will be introduced to his famous sitcom character archetypes, which will help you build your niche in half-hour comedy... The Eight Characters of Comedy! Who is normally cast as The Logical Smart One? Why do we love The Lovable Loser? Why is The Neurotic a favorite for actors and writers? How do you play The Dumb One smart? Who are the biggest Bitch/Bastards? What drives The Materialistic Ones? Why is The Womanizer/Manizer so popular? How can you realistically write and play someone In Their Own Universe? The Eight Characters of Comedy answers all these questions and more, with UPDATED EXAMPLES from current & classic sitcoms, and from many of the greatest sitcom characters & actors of all time! After reading this book, you WILL be ready to work in the exciting world of situation comedy!