Dogs Dont Tell Jokes

'Why did the guy eat two dead skunks for breakfast?' 'Because dead ones squeal when you stick the fork in.' Gary W. Boone knows he was born to be a stand-up comedian. It is the rest of the kids in the class who think he is a fool. Then the Floyd Hicks Junior High School Talent Show is announced, and he starts practising his routine non-stop to get it just right. Gary's sure that this will be his big break - he'll make everyone laugh and will win the $100 prize money. But when an outrageous surprise threatens to turn his debut into a disaster, it looks as if the biggest joke of all may be on Gary himself.

Angeline could read before she was old enough to turn the pages of a book, and she mastered the piano without a single lesson. But being so clever doesn't make life easy for Angeline. This charming book is a quirky celebration of fathers, teachers, being yourself and finding happiness in unexpected places.

Besides being man's best friends, our canine companions turn out to be some of the world's best comedians, from puppy antics that convulse us into giggles, to the pranks of older furry friends that keep us chortling at life's follies. Here is a compact treasury of canine humor that simply takes the biscuit. Packed with dog jokes, dog riddles (''What has four legs and one arm? A happy pit bull''), quips and quotes (''Never moon a werewolf''),''dogma,'' doggerel, and much more, such as dog license errors (''Alaskan Malibu,'' ''Borderline Collie''), it's guaranteed to have you howling with laughter. Note: Some ''mature'' (actually immature) content.

A sidesplitting classic from Newbery Medalist and National Book Award winner Louis Sachar (Holes), with a brand-new cover! Gary W. Boone knows he was born to be a stand-up comedian. It’s the rest of the kids in his class who think he’s just a goon. Then the Floyd Hicks Junior High School Talent Show is announced, and he starts practicing his routine nonstop to get it just right. Gary’s sure this will be his big break—he’ll make everyone laugh and win the $100 prize. But when an outrageous surprise threatens to turn his debut into a disaster, it looks as if the biggest joke of all may be on Gary himself.

When Laura Sibbie starts a club called Pig City, she incites a near-war among her sixth-grade classmates and generates the creation of a rival club that has designs on Pig City's precious box of secrets.

When Johnny has his eleventh birthday, his parents decide that he is old enough for dancing classes, but too old to collect bottle caps any more.

Reproducible chapter questions, plus comprehension questions, a story summary, author biography, creative and cross curricular activities, complete with answer key, for the novel Dogs Don't Tell Jokes by Louis Sachar.

If these dogs could talk...here’s precisely what Eva, the Brittany spaniel, Bruno, the golden retriever, and Agnes, the genetically diverse rescue dog, would say. Photographer David Leswick flawlessly captures the fun, quirky, clever, curious, and witty personalities of his family’s three canine companions in this collection of heartwarming photography—along with the hilarious dogalogue that comes along with it. The perfect doggie treat for the eyes, heart, and sense of humour of any animal lover, Dogversations is a laugh-out-loud hysterical glimpse at how this canine crew tries to make heads or tails out of their daily lives with the human family that loves them.

Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.

Colorful illustrations and simple text create engaging riddles and jokes.