Dirty Bertie Fangs

Join Bertie as he proves the grumpy school custodian is a vampire, models the latest fashions, and gets a serious scare-cut at the barbers.

Wherever Bertie goes, chaos follows, and this trio of stories is no exception. Join Bertie as he attempts to prove the grumpy school custodian is a vampire, finds himself modeling the latest fashions, and gets a serious "scare-cut" at the barbers.

Dirty Bertie - the boy with nose-pickingly disgusting habits - is back for another helping of comic chaos! More disgusting than ever with crazier plans and increasingly madcap schemes, Bertie continues to delight his legions of fans who revel in his revolting ways. Join Bertie in Rats! as he crosses paths with a cheeky rodent, takes part in a chaotic cross-country run and tries to get his dog Whiffer to eat healthily - with disastrous results!

Meet Dirty Bertie, a boy with nose-picking disgusting habits. He's full to bursting with madcap plans and crazy ideas. In these three stories Bertie suspects the caretaker of being a vampire, gets a hair-raising haircut, and goes shopping with his mum. Suggested level: primary.

Bertie's sister has chickenpox and Bertie thinks that if he can catch it he will not have to go to school and admit he did not do his homework--and that is just the first problem that Bertie faces in this trio of stories.

Dirty Bertie is the world's grubbiest trouble magnet. He's a boy with nose-pickingly disgusting habits! He's full to bursting with madcap plans and crazy ideas, and if it's trouble you're after, look no further-Bertie's sure to be up to his neck in it!

Bertie has shockingly dirty habits. Whenever he does anything dirty his family shouts, 'No, Bertie! That's dirty Bertie!' But there's one habit Bertie won't give up.

By the New York Times bestselling author of The Bone Clocks and Cloud Atlas | Longlisted for the Man Booker Prize Selected by Time as One of the Ten Best Books of the Year | A New York Times Notable Book | Named One of the Best Books of the Year by The Washington Post Book World, The Christian Science Monitor, Rocky Mountain News, and Kirkus Reviews | A Los Angeles Times Book Prize Finalist | Winner of the ALA Alex Award | Finalist for the Costa Novel Award From award-winning writer David Mitchell comes a sinewy, meditative novel of boyhood on the cusp of adulthood and the old on the cusp of the new. Black Swan Green tracks a single year in what is, for thirteen-year-old Jason Taylor, the sleepiest village in muddiest Worcestershire in a dying Cold War England, 1982. But the thirteen chapters, each a short story in its own right, create an exquisitely observed world that is anything but sleepy. A world of Kissingeresque realpolitik enacted in boys’ games on a frozen lake; of “nightcreeping” through the summer backyards of strangers; of the tabloid-fueled thrills of the Falklands War and its human toll; of the cruel, luscious Dawn Madden and her power-hungry boyfriend, Ross Wilcox; of a certain Madame Eva van Outryve de Crommelynck, an elderly bohemian emigré who is both more and less than she appears; of Jason’s search to replace his dead grandfather’s irreplaceable smashed watch before the crime is discovered; of first cigarettes, first kisses, first Duran Duran LPs, and first deaths; of Margaret Thatcher’s recession; of Gypsies camping in the woods and the hysteria they inspire; and, even closer to home, of a slow-motion divorce in four seasons. Pointed, funny, profound, left-field, elegiac, and painted with the stuff of life, Black Swan Green is David Mitchell’s subtlest and most effective achievement to date. Praise for Black Swan Green “[David Mitchell has created] one of the most endearing, smart, and funny young narrators ever to rise up from the pages of a novel. . . . The always fresh and brilliant writing will carry readers back to their own childhoods. . . . This enchanting novel makes us remember exactly what it was like.”—The Boston Globe “[David Mitchell is a] prodigiously daring and imaginative young writer. . . . As in the works of Thomas Pynchon and Herman Melville, one feels the roof of the narrative lifted off and oneself in thrall.”—Time