Chuckle And Cringe

SpongeBob and his fellow residents of Bikini Bottom retell embarrassing moments.

Did you ever hear about the time that SpongeBob ended up in Mrs Puff's class wearing nothing but his underwear? Or the time when Squidward tried out for the football team even though he didn't have a clue how to play? Or how about when Patrick found himself in a brutal battle - with a hat rack? Readers will laugh out loud as they realize even their favourite Bikini Bottom dwellers have done some extremely embarrassing things - and lived to tell everyone about it!

SpongeBob and his fellow residents of Bikini Bottom retell embarrassing moments.

“Follow the adventures of a news-photographer-turned-private-eye as he seeks truth, justice, and an affair with his ex-wife” (The New York Times) in this hilarious caper from bestselling author Carl Hiaasen. R.J. Decker, star tenant of the local trailer park and neophyte private eye is fishing for a killer. Thanks to a sportsman’s scam that’s anything but sportsmanlike, there’s a body floating in Coon Bog, Florida—and a lot that’s rotten in the murky waters of big-stakes, large-mouth bass tournaments. Here Decker will team up with a half-blind, half-mad hermit with an appetite for road kill; dare to kiss his ex-wife while she’s in bed with her new husband; and face deadly TV evangelists, dangerously seductive women, and a pistol-toting redneck with a pit bull on his arm. And here his own life becomes part of the stakes. For while the “double whammy” is the lure, first prize is for the most ingenious murder.

In addition to the pact he made with his two best friends to see a naked girl by the end of summer, 15-year-old Matt Gratton is even more determined to impress the star of the swim team, Kelly West, with his athletic abilities and so makes a personal goal to swim the 100-yard butterfly in order to catch her eye.

Techniques of the Selling Writer provides solid instruction for people who want to write and sell fiction, not just to talk and study about it. It gives the background, insights, and specific procedures needed by all beginning writers. Here one can learn how to group words into copy that moves, movement into scenes, and scenes into stories; how to develop characters, how to revise and polish, and finally, how to sell the product. No one can teach talent, but the practical skills of the professional writer's craft can certainly be taught. The correct and imaginative use of these kills can shorten any beginner's apprenticeship by years. This is the book for writers who want to turn rejection slips into cashable checks.

For decades, teachers, though underpaid, were among the most respected, esteemed professionals in the United States. But things have changed. As schools fail to meet the needs of a growing, diverse population, teachers have taken the hit. Popular movies have sensationalized the power and potential of those in the teaching profession, their hyperbole bordering on the absurd. Bruce Jay Gevirtzman hands you the truth about conditions in America’s schools. His defense of teachers may be shocking, but could awaken us to solutions that really work.

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Otherworld series and Hemlock Island, the first chilling novel in the Cainsville series. Olivia Taylor-Jones is shattered to learn that she’s adopted. Her biological parents? Notorious serial killers. On a quest to learn more about her past, Olivia lands in the small town of Cainsville, Illinois. As she draws on long-hidden abilities, Olivia begins to realize that there are dark secrets in Cainsville—and powers lurking in the shadows.

Inspired by a true story, White River Red: A Novel vividly portrays the tumults and triumphs of a rough, generous soul who touched countless lives with her kindness and courage. In 1906, fifteen-year-old Forrestina Bradley runs away from her stifling life of ease and joins the circus as a tightrope walker. After a tragedy forces her to leave the circus, she embarks on a life of nomadic adventure, running a carnival rat-game and becoming involved in an illegal dance hall and moonshine business near the banks of the White River in Arkansas during Prohibition. Along the way, she meets and loves three men—Max, Jack, and George—who each break her heart in vastly different ways. It’s a good thing that Forrestina is tough enough to survive the men in her life. Tough enough to become a legend. In 1972, Betty, a young reporter desperate to break into the boys’ club of journalism, offers to interview the now-elderly Forrestina. What she discovers in Forrestina’s story is a lesson of strength, resilience, friendship, and faith. She learns that though defying normal is often painful, for some brave souls it’s the only way to truly live.

“Kelly is part geek, part freak. When You Find Out The World Is Against You shows us ourselves: our sensitivities, our awkward moments, our strange desires. She takes us through summer camp, dating, rape culture, Trump, death . . . Kelly Oxford c’est moi.” — James Franco “Two things I’m grateful for: how imperfect Kelly Oxford is at life and decision-making, and how terrific she is at writing about what a goddamn mess she is.” — Patton Oswalt “Kelly Oxford’s writing is hilarious and fearless. She’s the badass Canadian sister I never had.” — Mindy Kaling “I have worshipped the mind of Kelly Oxford for eons. Kelly Oxford’s concise, whip-smart observations feel eerily universal. When You Find Out the World is Against You shows that there is something to be learned from even the most absurd or devastating moments of life.” — Jill Soloway “Kelly Oxford is a beautiful writer. She finds beauty in the mundane and humor in everyday eccentricities. She is our present-day, funny Joan Didion.” — Gia Coppola