Building Love Together In Blended Families

Create a Loving and Safe Environment for Your Blended Family Blended families face unique challenges, and sadly, good intentions aren’t always enough. With so many complex relationships involved, all the normal rules for family life change, even how you apply something as simple as the five love languages. That’s why Gary Chapman, the bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages® andnational expert on stepfamilies, Ron Deal, join together in this book to teach you how the five love languages can help your blended family. They’ll teach you: About the unique dynamics of stepfamilies How to overcome fear and trust issues in marriage How to develop healthy parenting and step-parenting practices How the love languages should—and should not—be applied You’re going to face many challenges, but with the right strategies and smart work, your family can be stronger and healthier together.

Each member has their own unique place in a family. Ron Deal explores the myth of the "blended" family offering practical, realistic solutions for stepfamilies.

A Premarital Guide for Blended Family Couples If you want to enter a blended family marriage well, this is the book for you. Aimed at engaged or pre-engaged couples who have at least one child from a previous relationship, Preparing to Blend offers wise counsel on parenting, finances, establishing family identity, and daily routines for your new life together. Within these pages you will learn how to: · predict common issues · define expectations · create solutions You, your soon-to-be-spouse, and your children will benefit from exercises designed to accelerate family bonding and help you better understand each other. There is even a chapter to help you plan your wedding with your children in mind, so you can build a strong future together. Preparing to Blend is also an ideal premarital counseling tool for marriage coaches, mentors, and pastors wanting to prepare couples for complex blended family dynamics. If you are considering forming a blended family, Preparing to Blend is the resource you've been looking for.

Love may be sweeter the second time around, but once the bliss of a newfound relationship wears off a little, the reality of being part of a stepfamily sets in. If you are one of the millions of remarried Americans facing the challenge of blending two existing families into one cohesive whole, you are part of a stepcouple—and you know all too well how hard it can be to make your marriage work in sometimes tough terrain. Different parenting styles, finances, relationships with ex-spouses, legal matters, and even seemingly simple issues such as the kinds of chores assigned to children can chisel away at your union if you don’t always make your marriage a priority. Stepcoupling offers advice for stepcouples on how to do just that—all the while strengthening their blended family with a healthy marriage. Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green provide tips and strategies on dealing with the issues remarried couples face, with a wealth of advice from real-life stepcouples, such as: * Learning to tailor your expectations of your spouse or children and remembering that no family is perfect * Knowing where your boundaries are, whether involving a hostile ex-spouse or a stepchild who demands too much attention * Realizing that traits like flexibility, tolerance, forgiveness, and openness are especially essential in a stepfamily situation * Making “us” time for talking, problem-solving, weekends away, and enjoying your marriage to constantly renew and strengthen your bond as a couple Let this invaluable remarriage manual help you make your stepcouple the foundation of a strong, happy, and successful stepfamily.

Based on a landmark longitudinal study, the nation's leading expert on stepfamilies reveals his breakthrough findings and offers the first detailed guide to easing the conflicts of stepfamily life and healing the scars of divorce. There are more than twenty million stepfamilies in America. For most of them, the simple, daily issues that challenge every family are even more anxiety-provoking. After conducting a comprehensive nine-year-long study funded by the National Institutes of Health, Dr. James H. Bray has written an invaluable book that explains why over half of all stepfamilies fail and reveals the strategies that help the others succeed. A stepfamily is assaulted on all sides by difficult and often divisive questions. How much control should a stepparent have over a stepchild? How much authority should a nonresidential parent exert over a child? How should a difficult former spouse be handled? How does an "ours" baby change the emotional dynamic in a stepfamily? Why is there a lack of "honeymoon effect" during the first years of stepfamily life? The purpose of Stepfamilies is to answer all the important questions of stepfamily life--to fill in the knowledge gaps that undermine so many stepfamilies today and, crucially, to learn the effect of stepfamily life on children. Based on one of the largest and longest studies of stepfamily life ever conducted, Stepfamilies interweaves the stories of real families to illustrate such study findings as how: a stepfamily has its own natural life cycle a stepfamily takes several years to develop into a family unit a stepfamily is at greatest risk during the first two years a stepfamily ultimately coalesces into one of three forms a stepfamily must solve four basic tasks in order to succeed a stepfamily can help heal the scars of divorce Filled with emotional, gripping stories, Bray's findings pinpoint the three major transitions in stepfamily life and identify the riskiest issues that can throw a family into crisis. Bray is the first to identify the several distinct forms that stepfamilies take and to explore which types of stepfamilies are more vulnerable than others and why. He also describes the natural life cycle of stepfamilies and basic tasks all stepfamilies must undertake to succeed. With a wealth of insight into the positive effects of remarriage, Bray shows how a loving, well-functioning stepfamily can lessen the trauma of divorce and restore a child's and family's sense of security. Most stepparents remarry with the highest hopes and new resolutions for a better life. Never before have their unique needs been addressed in depth. Through insightful case studies and practical advice, Stepfamilies reveals how a strong, stable stepfamily is as capable as a nuclear family of nurturing healthy development, of imbuing values, of setting limits and boundaries, and of providing a structure in which rules for living a moral and productive life are transmitted, tested, rebelled against, and ultimately affirmed. Bray's positive message and fascinating findings--many of which defy intuition--will put stepfamilies on the road to lifelong harmony.

When re-married couples bring their families together, they face unique challenges. Somehow, they must bring unity out of diversity. Maxine Marsolini points to biblical solutions to the conflict commonly found in divorce and remarriage situations. 'Growth and Application' questions make this an excellent resource for small groups or Christian counseling.

If you are among the growing number of families in which adults with grown children have remarried later in life, you are probably familiar with the conflicts and complicated emotional dynamics that can result. Parents expect that remarrying will be easier because the children are grown up. But the reality is that these remarriages can cause painful struggles between parents and their adult children. Based on in-depth research by a psychiatrist and a sociologist, Step Wars trains a revealing lens on the sources of these conflicts and teaches the skills required to manage them. Topics include: * Your Children and Mine: Can They Ever Become Ours? * What Will Happen to the "Family Home"? * Who Should Inherit My Property? Managing Financial Conflict Between Generations * Health and Illness: Thank Heaven the Caretaker Is on Duty * The Grandchildren: Pawns or Bridges? Written for both the couple getting married as well as their adult children, Step Wars is a road map for happily surviving remarriage later in life.

"Learn how to create a loving and safe environment amidst the unique challenges of a blended family in this new book from Ron Deal and bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages®, Gary Chapman"--

Make This Marriage Last a Lifetime Leading blended family authority Ron Deal and marriage and family expert David Olson show you how to build on your relationship strengths and improve your weaknesses. Whether you're dating, engaged, a young stepfamily, or an empty-nest couple, The Smart Stepfamily Marriage gives you the tools you need at any stage to create a remarriage that will last. Each chapter of this book explores one of the key qualities of happy remarriages as identified by research. Like a GPS for your relationship, this book has built-in discussion questions that can help you and your partner discover where you are, where you'd like to be, and how to get there. The online survey gives you a report with personalized results for your relationship. "The Smart Stepfamily Marriage is the road map to a healthy marriage."--Gary D. Chapman, PhD, author, The Five Love Languages and When Sorry Isn't Enough "Remarried or marrying again? This book is loaded with specific, useful ideas for helping your marriage reach its full potential."--Scott Stanley, PhD, author, A Lasting Promise; research professor, University of Denver "This book is a must-read for any remarried couple. It includes the tools needed to create and maintain a wonderful remarriage."--from the foreword by Evelyn Husband Thompson, widow of Space Shuttle Columbia Commander Rick Husband, now remarried to Bill Thompson "The Smart Stepfamily Marriage is the most up-to-date, relevant, complete guide for remarried couples--I know of no other resource like it."--Francesca Adler-Baeder, PhD, professor and director, Center for Children, Youth, and Families, Auburn University; director, National Stepfamily Resource Center "This book will help you thrive in your marriage and beat the odds of divorce. The preventative information is the best I have ever seen, and the practical application covers it all. I have put The Smart Stepfamily Marriage at the top of my resource library for couples who find themselves in this beautiful and yet challenging world of remarriage."--Jim Burns, PhD, president, HomeWord, author of Creating an Intimate Marriage, Confident Parenting, and The Purity Code "Remarriages have unique challenges and different relational needs than first marriages. Based on a national study of 50,000 couples, this book is a wonderful resource for remarriage couples. Take the online Couple Checkup and get a report about your relationship, read the book, and build a relationship that lasts!"--Dr. Gary Smalley, author of The DNA of Relationships "You want a marriage that lasts forever, right? Blended family couples can beat the odds--this book will tell you how."--Dr. Dennis Rainey, president of FamilyLife, author of Stepping Up

Based on personal experience and expert insight, this book can help your new family learn to work and play together and to love and respect each other.