Bite Me Im Yours

Sarah's known monsters. . .and John isn't one. Sarah's life isn't going well. She's divorced from an abusive jerk, been drugged, stuffed in her trunk and nearly kidnapped. Between that and a harsh winter, it's almost more than a girl can take. She's rightly distrusting of any man's affection, so an ice-skating date with John - who doesn't seem to feel the cold - isn't exactly on her bucket list. Yet something about him captures her attention. John is determined to live as an ordinary mortal. He's moved into the city, bought a sports bar and works there as the bartender. As a new vampire, he's never considered dating, until he meets Sarah. Prudence dictates he stay away from her, but everything about her calls to him. . .right down to her cute animal socks. Sure, finding out John is a vampire is scary, but Sarah's learned not all monsters have fangs. Besides, someone else isn't too happy about their budding relationship. Sarah will have to survive before getting her chance at love. 92,308 Words

Color the hell out of this swear-word adult coloring book—and feel your stress disappear! With annoying exes, crappy coworkers, red-faced bosses, endless traffic, and whatever sh*t you’re dealing with at home, sometimes all you need is to tell everyone to “BITE ME!” Now you can say it in color! Find your inner calm with beautiful and intricate black-and-white art that also happens to feature your favorite profanities. From “People are the Worst” coloring pages to empowering “Winning at Life” coloring pages, you’ll feel the “Zen” wash over you as you color in or outside the lines, however you damn well please. So grab a marker, flip to a page, and go f*cking nuts!

Barely eighteen-year-old heroine Valentine Shapiro got a raw deal in the parent lottery. Her father was part incubus demon, and her mother's never forgiven her for that.Life after high school is tough enough without having to go 15 rounds with your inner demon. Thrown out of the house by her mother, Val puts one foot in front of the other and does the only thing that seems to make any sense--she takes aim at the town vampires. A stake a day, keeps the demon at bay. (But don't call her Buffy. That makes Lola, her demon, very cranky.) Her dark side makes everyday life a roller coaster, but means she's perfect for her night job as a bounty hunter. San Antonio's vampires are out of control, and it's up to Val, her faithful hellhound Fang, and her new partner, a handsome San Antonio police detective, to get the deadly fangbangers off the city streets. Soon enough she finds herself deep in the underbelly of the city, discovering the secrets of the Demon Underground and fighting to save those she loves. Whether they love her back or not.

Ally was at a breaking point when she woke up in a psych ward at the age of eighteen. She couldn't put a sentence together, let alone take a shower, eat a meal, or pick up a phone. What had gone wrong? In recent years, she had produced a feature film, a popular reality show for a major network, and had acted in an off-Broadway play. But now, Ally was pushed to a psychotic break after struggling since she was seven years old with physical symptoms that no doctor could explain; everything from joint pain, to night sweats, memory loss, nausea, and brain fog. A doctor in the psych ward was finally able to give her the answers her and her family had desperately been searching for, and the diagnosis that all the previous doctors had missed. She learned that she had Lyme disease-and finally had a breakthrough. What she didn't know was that this diagnosis would lead her down some of the most excruciating years of her life before beginning her journey to recovery from eleven years of misdiagnosis and physical pain. She would need to find her courage to heal physically, mentally, and emotionally, and become the survivor she is today. Set against the backdrop of the fast-paced fashion and entertainment industries, Bite Me shares the heartbreaking and hilarious stories that moved Ally forward on her journey from sickness to health. Its themes will be familiar to more than 300,000 Americans diagnosed with Lyme disease each year, many of whom, like Ally, wondered for years what was wrong with them. Bite Me offers readers hope and ideas for how one can transition from victim to survivor, and shares the spiritual principles and actions that have contributed to her wholeness as a human, mother, and international spokesperson against Lyme disease.

Once Bitten . . . One minute Leigh is walking home in the early hours of the morning, and the next a vampire is sinking his teeth into her neck. Turns out it was a rogue vampire marked for termination, but it does Leigh little good because the damage's already been done. She's become one of them. Lucian Argeneau, hunter of rogue vampires, has been alive for over two thousand years, and there's very little to excite him anymore. Food has become tasteless, sex is ordinary. Then Leigh drops into his life. Suddenly he finds himself craving coffee . . . and imagining the sassy brunette atop the black satin sheets on his nice big bed. It's Lucian's job now to enlighten Leigh on the inner workings of being immortal . . . and tutoring her is igniting a fire in him that hasn't burned in centuries. But until they stop a renegade bloodsucker from destroying the human race, passion will have to wait!

A revolutionary way to raise and train your dog, with “a wealth of practical tips, tricks, and fun games that will enrich the lives of many dogs and their human companions” (Dr. Ian Dunbar, veterinarian and animal behaviorist). Zak George is a new type of dog trainer. A dynamic YouTube star and Animal Planet personality with a fresh approach, Zak helps you tailor dog training to your pet’s unique traits and energy level—leading to quicker results and a much happier pup. For the first time, Zak has distilled the information from his hundreds of videos and experience with thousands of dogs into this comprehensive dog and puppy training guide that includes: • Choosing the right pup for you • Housetraining and basic training • Handling biting, leash pulling, jumping up, barking, aggression, chewing, and other behavioral issues • Health care essentials like finding a vet and selecting the right food • Cool tricks, traveling tips, and activities to enjoy with your dog • Topics with corresponding videos on Zak’s YouTube channel so you can see his advice in action Packed with everything you need to know to raise and care for your dog, this book will help you communicate and bond with one another in a way that makes training easier, more rewarding, and—most of all—fun!

“Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word.” —Carl Hiaasen The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore’s wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moore’s latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilight—but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, “Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination” from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver’s Rocky Mountain News to declare him, “the 21st century’s best satirist.”

Rejected by academia for defending an atheist, Luther Levy takes a job at a far-flung university. He begins a secret love affair with Ariana Nolte, the university librarian - and his employer's daughter! Luther doesn't suspect that the Nolte family is concealing a much darker secret in the woods beyond the university's wall.

Even though Lucas hasn't come out, his mom and his friend try to set him up with boys--just not the one he wants