All Our Losses All Our Griefs

Grief as a lifelong human experience is the scope of this absorbing book. Kenneth R. Mitchell and Herbert Anderson explore the multiple dimensions of the problem, including orgins of grief, loss throughout life, dynamics of grief, care for those who grieve, and the theology of grieving. This examination of the process of grief is enriched by vivid illustrations and case histories of individuals whose experiences the authors have shared.

Grief overload is what you feel when you experience too many significant losses all at once, in a relatively short period of time, or cumulatively. In addition to the deaths of loved ones, such losses can also include divorce, estrangement, illness, relocation, job changes, and more. Our minds and hearts have enough trouble coping with a single loss, so when the losses pile up, the grief often seems especially chaotic and defeating. The good news is that through intentional, active mourning, you can and will find your way back to hope and healing. This compassionate guide will show you how.

“Compassionate, poignant, and practical. . . . Transcending Loss will be a great blessing on your lifetime journey of recovery.”—Harold Bloomfield, MD, psychiatrist and author of How to Survive the Loss of Love and How to Heal Depression Death doesn’t end a relationship, it simply forges a new type of relationship—one based not on physical presence but on memory, spirit, and love. There are many wonderful books available that address acute grief and how to cope with it. But they often focus on crisis management and imply that there is an "end" to mourning, and fail to acknowledge grief’s ongoing impact and how it changes through the years. “This is a book about death and grief, yes, but more important, it is a book about love and hope. I have learned from my experience and interviews with courageous people about pain, struggle, resiliency, and meaning. Their stories show over time, you can learn to transcend even in spite of the pain.”—from the introduction by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW

The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and be stretched large by them. As seen on All There Is with Anderson Cooper Noted psychotherapist Francis Weller provides an essential guide for navigating the deep waters of sorrow and loss in this lyrical yet practical handbook for mastering the art of grieving. Describing how Western patterns of amnesia and anesthesia affect our capacity to cope with personal and collective sorrows, Weller reveals the new vitality we may encounter when we welcome, rather than fear, the pain of loss. Through moving personal stories, poetry, and insightful reflections he leads us into the central energy of sorrow, and to the profound healing and heightened communion with each other and our planet that reside alongside it. The Wild Edge of Sorrow explains that grief has always been communal and illustrates how we need the healing touch of others, an atmosphere of compassion, and the comfort of ritual in order to fully metabolize our grief. Weller describes how we often hide our pain from the world, wrapping it in a secret mantle of shame. This causes sorrow to linger unexpressed in our bodies, weighing us down and pulling us into the territory of depression and death. We have come to fear grief and feel too alone to face an encounter with the powerful energies of sorrow. Those who work with people in grief, who have experienced the loss of a loved one, who mourn the ongoing destruction of our planet, or who suffer the accumulated traumas of a lifetime will appreciate the discussion of obstacles to successful grief work such as privatized pain, lack of communal rituals, a pervasive feeling of fear, and a culturally restrictive range of emotion. Weller highlights the intimate bond between grief and gratitude, sorrow and intimacy. In addition to showing us that the greatest gifts are often hidden in the things we avoid, he offers powerful tools and rituals and a list of resources to help us transform grief into a force that allows us to live and love more fully.

In today’s world, trauma and traumatic loss are increasingly common. This book surveys the important constructs, concepts, and dynamics of trauma, loss, grief, and growth, offering resources and strategies that ministers and other spiritual caregivers can use as they support and facilitate people in their journey from trauma recovery to grief work to spiritual growth. The book presents a framework for understanding the interrelationship between trauma recovery work, grief work, and spiritual growth. The author argues that each of these components is essential for a full and complete healing from trauma and traumatic losses and that they work together in the ongoing process of healing. Traumas and traumatic losses are times of “crisis” in the sense that they are turning points in people’s lives; people can either grow through the experience or decline under the weight of their unbearable sorrow and anxiety. How people handle traumas and significant losses may be the most important variable in their psychological, relational, and spiritual health. The author gives special attention to describing ways in which God might draw close to the traumatized and bereaved in their process of recovery and healing.

Shaping our journey into the Divine This moving and enlightening book presents us with a compelling vision of what can happen when we take the opportunity to connect stories and rituals--a vision of individuals and communities transformed through a deeper sense of connection to our loved ones, our communities, and God. Herbert Anderson and Edward Foley reveal how when stories and rituals work together, they have the potential to be both mighty and dangerous--mighty in their ability to lift us up and help us make these connections beyond ourselves and dangerous in challenging us to learn to live with complexity and contradiction. They show how much more meaningful a baptism, wedding, or funeral can be when liturgy is made to include and recognize the personal stories of those involved. Suddenly, these familiar life-cycle rituals are infused with new life as participants become connected in a narrative web linking past and present, human and divine. Newly created rituals can also help us connect our stories to the divine story, giving meaning to what we experience and bringing us closer to God. Ministers, worship leaders, and pastoral caregivers can use this approach to storytelling and ritual to find ways to bring together worship and pastoral care.

Herbert Anderson presents a broad-based theology for the family. He highlights the indispensable purposes the family serves--procreation, social stability, individualization--and celebrates the attendant change, interdependence, and diversity as signs of God's continuing creativity and care. Anderson blends this theological perspective with a systems approach to family therapy that focuses not just on the individuals but on the entire unit. This results in an integrated base for pastoral care, counseling, and intervention, one that is attuned to both the realties of the modern context and the claims of Christian discipleship. This book can aid families in their lifelong agenda of helping people learn how to live together separately in ever-enlarging communities of concern and care.

Explaining the important difference between grief and mourning, this book explores every mourner's need to acknowledge death and embrace the pain of loss. Also explored are the many factors that make each person's grief unique and the many normal thoughts and feelings mourners might have. Questions of spirituality and religion are addressed as well. The rights of mourners to be compassionate with themselves, to lean on others for help, and to trust in their ability to heal are upheld. Journaling sections encourage mourners to articulate their unique thoughts and feelings.

For fifty years Good Grief has helped millions of readers, including NFL players and a former first lady, find comfort and rediscover hope after loss. Now this classic text is available in a new edition with a foreword by one of the nation's leading communicators of medical health care information. An afterword by the author's daughters tells how the book came to be. Good Grief identifies ten stages of griefshock, emotion, depression, physical distress, panic, guilt, anger, resistance, hope, and acceptancebut, recognizing that grief is complex and deeply personal, defines no "right" way to grieve. Good Grief offers valuable insights on the emotional and physical responses persons may experience during the natural process of grieving. The anniversary gift edition includes space for readers to record thoughts about their personal experience with grief. Whether mourning the death of a loved one, the end of a marriage, the loss of a job, or other difficult life changes, Good Grief is a proven steady companion in times of loss.