Adrian Mole And The Weapons Of Mass Destruction

Adrian Mole is thirty-four and three quarters, almost officially middle-aged, when Mr Blair tells Parliament that weapons of mass destruction can be deployed in forty-five minutes and can reach Cyprus. Adrian is worried that he might not get a refund on his holiday. But that?s not all that is bothering him. There?s his odd girlfriend Marigold who has become distressingly New Age. And his son Glenn who is in Deepcut Barracks. Would Mr Blair have been quite so keen if it had been his son manning a roadblock?

Adrian Mole�s pen is scribbling for the twenty-first century. Working as a bookseller and living in Leicester�s Rat Wharf; finding time to write letters of advice to Tim Henman and Tony Blair; locked in mortal combat with a vicious swan called Gielgud; measuring his expanding bald spot; and trying to escape the clutches of Marigold and win over her voluptuous sister Daisy� Adrian still yearns for a better, more meaningful world. And he�s not ready to surrender his pen yet�

The further misadventures of the world's oldest adolescent.

Adrian Mole's first love, Pandora, has left him; a neighbor, Mr. Lucas, appears to be seducing his mother (and what does that mean for his father?); the BBC refuses to publish his poetry; and his dog swallowed the tree off the Christmas cake. "Why" indeed.

Adrian Mole has entered early middle age and is now ‘the same age as Jesus was when he died' (33). Father to the grammatically challenged Glenn, and William, who takes a ‘Big Boy Arouser’ condom to nursery school as his innocent contribution to a hot air balloon project, Adrian is a single parent who has an on/off relationship with his housing officer, Pamela Pigg. Will she help him to move from the notorious Gaitskell estate before William joins the Mad Frankie Fraser fan club? In the meantime, Adrian continues to be scandalised by his irresponsible parents who are conducting a matrimonial square-dance with the Braithwaites – the parents of the beautiful but unobtainable Pandora, who is ruthlessly pursuing her ambition to be New Labour’s first woman P.M. – and to confide in his diary. His current worries include: indestructible head-lice; his raging jealousy when his accomplished half-brother Brett arrives on his doorstep; moral decline in The Archers; his desperate attachment to two therapists; his mild addiction to Starburst (formerly Opal Fruits); a small earthquake in Leicester; and, perhaps most significantly, the dawn of a new millennium.

Adrian Mole is 39 and a quarter. Unable to afford the mortgage on his riverside apartment, he has been forced to move into a semi-detached converted pigsty next door to his parents, George and Pauline. His ravishing wife Daisy loathes the countryside, longs for Dean Street and has yet to buy a pair of Wellingtons; they are both aware the passion has gone out of their marriage, but neither knows how to reignite the flame. To cap it all off, Adrian is leaving his bed numerous times a night to go to the lavatory and has other alarming symptoms, leading him to suspect prostate trouble. Meanwhile, his mother thinks that an appearance on the Jeremy Kyle show might solve the mystery of her daughter’s paternity once and for all. And when George is asked to provide a DNA sample, will the shock kill him? He is already disabled, though still chain smoking and has had an ashtray welded onto the arm of his wheelchair. As Adrian’s worries multiply, a phone call to his old flame Dr Pandora Braithwaite, BA, MA, PhD, MP and Junior Minister in the Foreign Office, ignites memories of a shared passion and makes him wonder – is she the only one who can save him now?

'The funniest person in the world' Caitlin Moran 'My comfort read. The best diaries ever written - with apologies to Samuel Pepys, Bridget Jones and me' ADAM KAY Celebrate Adrian Mole's 50th Birthday with this new edition of the FIFTH BOOK in his diaries, where Adrian faces divorce, fatherhood and (short-lived) television stardom . . . __________ Adrian Mole is thirty, single and a father. His cooking at a top London restaurant has been equally mocked ('the sausage on my plate could have been a turd') and celebrated (will he be the nation's first celebrity offal chef?). And the love of his life, Pandora Braithwaite, is too busy as the newly elected MP for Ashby-de-la-Zouch to notice him. Frustrated, disappointed and undersexed, Adrian despairs until a letter from his past changes everything . . . 'With the Mole books, Townsend has an unrivalled claim to be this country's foremost practising comic novelist' Mail on Sunday 'Adrian Mole really is a brilliant comic creation. Every sentence is witty and well thought out, and the whole has reverberations beyond itself' The Times 'One of the greatest comic creations. I can't remember a more relentlessly funny book' Daily Mirror 'Three cheers for Mole's chaotic, non-achieving, dysfunctional family. We need him' Evening Standard

First in the military science fiction series that does “an excellent job of transferring Hornblower to interstellar space. A thoroughly enjoyable read” (David Drake). In the year 2194, seventeen-year-old Nicholas Seafort is assigned to the Hibernia as a lowly midshipman. Destination: the thriving colony of Hope Nation. But when a rescue attempt goes devastatingly wrong, Seafort is thrust into a leadership role he never anticipated. The other officers resent him, but Seafort must handle more dangerous problems, from a corrupted navigation computer to a deadly epidemic. Even Hope Nation has a nasty surprise in store. Seafort might be the crew’s only hope . . . This page-turning science fiction in the vein of Robert Heinlein and Orson Scott Card—with a dash of Horatio Hornblower—marks the captivating debut adventure in Feintuch’s hugely popular Seafort Saga.