Adoption Is A Family Affair

Previous ed. published in 2001 by Perspectives Press.

A child is coming – whether you approve or not it's time to get with the program! If someone you care about – a family member, co-worker, or close friend – has recently announced that their family will be growing through adoption, you may have questions. After all, unless you have personally experienced adoption, you may know very little about how adoption works and what it means. Are you worried that your loved one may face disappointment? Do you find yourself wondering exactly what your role is going to be in the child's life? Does the term "open adoption" confuse and concern you? Just what are the privacy boundaries for families built by adoption: what is it okay to ask about? Adoption Is a Family Affair! will answer all of these questions and more, offering you information about who can adopt, why people consider adopting, how kids understand adoption as they grow up, and more. This short book is crammed full of the 'need to know' information for friends and families that will help to encourage informed, happy and healthy family relationships.

When 12-year-old Andy meets Laurie and Jeff at an adoption party, he has already been in eight foster homes. Andy s alcoholic mother has given him up to the state as too hard to handle, and his father is in jail. Andy longs for a loving home and parents he can trust, but his attention deficit disorder, combined with the legacy of his dysfunctional parents, causes him to constantly challenge authority. He steals, destroys property, gets in trouble at school, tries to make a gunpowder bomb, and accuses Jeff, his soon-to-be father, of touching him inappropriately. To make matters worse, Andy s real father shows up asking for money. But Andy s new parents refuse to give up on him, and Andy must fight to save his soon-to-be-father s reputation and his own chance at having a real family."

A new and comprehensively revised edition of BAAF's popular handbook introduces grandparents-to-be and other relatives to information about adoption today. It offers facts about the children needing adoption, processes and procedures and, most importantly, discusses how the wider family can support and be involved in building a family through adoption. Quotes and snippets from family stories add an immediacy to this accessible and informative guide, which also includes contributions from grandparents. Newly updated for 2014.

Advance readers of Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families offer these comments (and more, see page 1) about this new book by the author of Taking Charge of Infertility, Adopting after Infertility, Launching a Baby's Adoption and Adoption Is a Family Affair! Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families is a "must-read" for anyone considering adoption. With compassion and candor, it helps sort out the emotional, relational and practical aspects of the journey to family-building through adoption. Pat's warm and direct style gives readers the courage to face the losses they have experienced so they can continue exploring adoption as a means to parenthood. Specifically, readers will be empowered to: Regain a sense of control over their lives, Decide whether they are honestly open to the idea of adoption, Understand the central issues of attachment and adoptive family life, Feel confident in their decision to pursue-or not-adoption as a viable option, Make informed decisions about the details of the adoption process, Embrace their decision to adopt with practical support and information, Navigate the first few months after placement with realistic expectations and practical information. Book jacket.

What about the kids already there? How do they do when a child with a challenging past joins a family by adoption? When experienced parents decide to adopt an older child or a sibling group, they jump through all kinds of bureaucratic hoops â?? background checks, interviews, group meetings, reading assignments, classes, etc. But most often the typically developing children these adults are already parenting (whether through birth or adoption) are left out of the process, informed that a new kid is coming, and simply expected to â??adjustâ?? to the addition of another sibling. The addition of a child with a history of neglect or trauma cannot be a seamless transition. The expectations of everyone involved â?? parents, new siblings, and, yes, professionals facilitating the adoption â?? must be realistic, taking into account that the new child will need special attention that may take away time and attention from the already resident kids, that family life is likely to be turned topsy turvy until appropriate counseling and support are in place, that relationships will change. Therapist Arleta James is certainly not the first person to recognize this, but she is the first to do something about it. Brothers and Sisters in Adoption offers insights and examples and sturdy, practical, proven tools for helping newly configured families prepare, accept, react, and mobilize to become a new and different family meeting the practical, physical and emotional needs of all its members. These well prepared and supported families are the ones who thrive!

A passionate love affair between high school sweethearts creates an accidental pregnancy during a sultry night on the shore of Lake Michigan. Rebecca's unforgiving parents banish her to an unwed mother's home where she secretly gives birth to a baby girl. Her daughter Judy is placed in the loving care of foster parents before being callously given to Mario and Rosella Romano for adoption on her first birthday. Reoccurring visions and fantasies of her birthmother plague Judy's consciousness for three decades until a life-changing passage into adulthood causes her to question why she was abandoned. What begins as a simple investigation into her medical and ancestral history slowly evolves into a passionate quest to discover her roots. Through good timing, perseverance, and a few small miracles, Judy eventually solves the mystery of her origins. But will the woman she has been seeking welcome Judy back into her life? About the Authors Judith and Martin Land live in Colorado and Arizona. They told the entire story of Judith Land's adoption, from her birth through adulthood, to provide the reader with unique insights into the mind of an adoptee at various stages of her life.

'Incredibly moving' --Anne Enright, winner of the Man Booker Prize An Affair with My Mother by Caitriona Palmer: a moving and gripping story of love, denial and a daughter's quest for the truth. Caitriona Palmer had a happy childhood in Dublin, raised by loving adoptive parents. But when she was in her late twenties, she realized that she had a strong need to know the woman who had given birth to her. She was able to locate her birth mother, Sarah, and they developed a strong attachment. But Sarah set one painful condition to this joyous new relationship: she wished to keep it - to keep Caitriona - secret from her family, from her friends, from everyone. Who was Sarah, and why did she want to preserve a decades-old secret? An Affair with My Mother tells the story of Caitriona's quest to answer these questions, and of the intense, furtive 'affair' she and her mother conducted in carefully chosen locations around Dublin. By turns heartwarming and heartbreaking, An Affair with My Mother is a searing portrait of the social and familial forces that left Sarah - and so many other unwed Irish mothers of her generation - frightened, traumatized and bereft. It is also a beautifully written account of a remarkable relationship. 'Caitriona Palmer has called out the false shame of her origins, with a kind of anguished courage that is incredibly moving. An Affair With My Mother is a forensic account of how it feels to be - in the interests of Catholic "respectability" - excluded from the facts of your own life. In its commitment to family love, to joy and truth, it is a gift.' Anne Enright, winner of the Man Booker Prize

Family Matters cuts through the sealed records, changing policies, and conflicting agendas that have obscured the history of adoption in America and reveals how the practice and attitudes about it have evolved from colonial days to the present.

A wry, savvy novel of untidy modern relationships, A Family Affair confirms award-winning author Nadine Bismuth's place as a remarkable chronicler of contemporary middle-class mores in the manner of Jonathan Franzen, John Irving, and Lorrie Moore. Award-winning novelist and screenwriter for film and television Nadine Bismuth has returned with an unsparing portrait of twenty-first century life. In A Family Affair, love is the first casualty and deceit -- towards others, towards oneself -- the norm. Kitchen designer Magalie is being cheated upon and so cheats in turn, in the office and with a divorced policeman who has hired her. Her partner, Mathieu, has no idea how to be, and the policeman Guillaume no idea what he wants. So begins a story of messy relationships wrested against the odds from the detritus of failed marriages, the demands of professional lives, and the pull of the internet and its false messages of perfection. With an assiduous eye that is both clinical and sympathetic, Bismuth's elegant and highly readable novel captures the alienating nature of contemporary life and sheds light on this, our strange new world full of unrequited yearning in a sea of seeming plenty.