2500 Jokes To Start Em Laughing

There is no better, faster, or more effective way to reach out and grab an audience’s attention than the adroit use of humor. An apt, well-timed joke can soothe the hostile, focus the uninterested, and the spur on the enthusiastic. In this latest collection from Robert Orben, master of the one-liner and fountain of humor for the great TV and stand-up comics, are gathered over 2500 short, relevant, and sharp laugh-getters that can easily be added to speeches, lectures, presentations, or casual conversation. Arranged into several hundred categories for ease in selection, the subject matter is topical—ranging from acupuncture and air pollution to women’s liberation and X-rated movies. Most of the jokes are one-liners that move with a snap and a sizzle that anecdotes and lengthy stories lack. Here you will find openings and closings for speeches, plus random and specific comment invaluable to anyone who has ever been called upon to “say a few words.” A marvelous tool for speakers, writers, and performers, Mr. Orben’s newest book will also provide hours of laugh-filled reading for everyone.

GOAL This is the funniest book I have ever written - and the ambiguity here is deliberate. Much of this book is about deliberate ambiguity, described as unambiguously as possible, so the previous sentence is probably the fIrst, last, and only deliberately ambiguous sentence in the book. Deliberate ambiguity will be shown to underlie much, if not all, of verbal humor. Some of its forms are simple enough to be perceived as deliberately ambiguous on the surface; in others, the ambiguity results from a deep semantic analysis. Deep semantic analysis is the core of this approach to humor. The book is the fIrst ever application of modem linguistic theory to the study of humor and it puts forward a formal semantic theory of verbal humor. The goal of the theory is to formulate the necessary and sufficient conditions, in purely semantic terms, for a text to be funny. In other words, if a formal semantic analysis of a text yields a certain set of semantic proptrties which the text possesses, then the text is recognized as a joke. As any modem linguistic theory, this semantic theory of humor attempts to match a natural intuitive ability which the native speaker has, in this particular case, the ability to perceive a text as funny, i. e. , to distinguish a joke from a non-joke.

Humor sells. Humor convinces. Humor instructs. Humor entertains. Humor communicates. Whether your audience numbers one or one thousand, humor is the ideal vehicle to capture interest, attention, and approval. But it has to be the short, dynamic humor of today—not the long-winded stories and anecdotes that amused our grandparents. One-liners get the laughs and carry the message because they are so easily quotable. A good one-liner makes its point in less time than it takes a story just to establish a premise. 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches gives you an invaluable working file of these effective, topical zingers. Written by Bob Orben, one of America’s top comedy writers, they are as relevant and timely as tomorrow’s headlines. Beyond all that, they are fun just to read. Take a laugh break and scan a few pages in idle moments. It’ll add to your joke memory, brighten your speeches, and brighten your day.

Here is a huge compendium of laugh-out-loud jokes that will let boys and girls entertain themselves and their friends for hours and hours. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze! Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot! Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself? Because it’s two-tired. What did one toilet say to the other? You look a tad flushed. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck! Which month has 28 days? They all do! Can a frog jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course, the Empire State Building Can’t Jump What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssstory. The Big Book of Belly Laugh Jokes, Riddles, and Puns for Kids is filled to the brim with both classic and original jokes to make readers keel over in laughter. Written to meet the unquenchable needs of the millions of children eternally hungry for joke books, this collection is complete with 700 hilarious zingers. This unique volume is complemented by silly line drawings created by talented illustrator Bethany Straker. Its seemingly endless supply of fresh content and splashy, engaging design make this book a sure source of fun for young readers as well as parents, siblings, and friends! Perfect for long car rides and rainy days, this book is sure to bring laughter and fun to little ones.

Contains stories, illustrations, jokes, and quotes--from religious to secular. This great collection is handy for any occasion or when you need a smile, a chuckle, or a laugh. Dr. Streiker is an ordained minister and inspirational humorist and speaker who has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show and advised the White House. There are thousands of smiles here arranged alphabetically by topic.

The biggest joke book on the market gets a ginormous companion! Just in case the massive collection of jokes featured in the bestselling The Biggest Joke Book Ever, No Kidding wasn’t enough, this hugely humorous companion includes more than five thousand additional goofy gags, clever comebacks, and treacherous tongue twisters along with riddles, one-liners, puns, and more. Up to date and brimming with hilarity, the contents of this indispensible comedy resource will have readers laughing nonstop.

Have you ever been in a situation where you need to lighten the mood, or just want a few moments to make your friends, family or coworkers laugh? There's no better way to do that than by telling them a joke. Jokes, riddles, and funny stories are a time-tested method to put anyone in a better mood, or even impress that special someone by showing off your humorous side. Gathered in this six-book collection are some of the funniest, wittiest, dumbest, most groan-inducing jokes and stories that you and your soon-to-be-audience have ever heard. Be prepared to chuckle, snort, laugh out loud, and even roll your eyes at the jokes, stories, anecdotes, and riddles in this book. Warning: There are some... how should I put it? Less than work-appropriate jokes in here. Some may even be downright offensive to some people. Know your audience before telling some of these jokes or, at least, be open to the thought that not everyone has the same sense of humor as you do. (They're just wet blankets, though. They don't deserve to laugh at your jokes, anyways!) Please, enjoy! **This book may contain material that can be considered lewd or offensive**