12 Hidden Rewards Of Making Amends

Popular recovery author Allen Berger, PhD, guides us in working three of the most challenging of the Twelve Steps to reap the abundant rewards of making amends. Letting go of resentment and forgiving ourselves for our past wrongs are critical to recovery from alcohol and other drugs. Yet, Steps Eight, Nine, and Ten, which focus on making amends, can be some of the most challenging to work, because we must face ourselves and those who we have hurt or damaged. In 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends, Allen Berger, PhD, uses the same supportive, down-to-earth style as in his popular book 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery. His creative tools and tips will help us let go of anger, heal strained relationships, and make financial and emotional restitution. Through this transformative process we can: recover and maintain integrity; resolve or complete unfinished business; restore trust, self-esteem, and self-confidence; deepen our spirituality and peace of mind; and reinforce a strong commitment to recovery. By being accountable for our words and actions and moving forward with a compassionate and constructive approach to the world, we decrease our chance of relapse and learn to maintain a healthy, balanced life.

Did you know there are hidden rewards to making amends? Without a willingness to experience our painful feelings, we can never grow and mature into the person we'd like to be. We can never reach our potential. We can never become our true-self. To grow, we must stay in close contact with our experience, whatever it is. We need to stay in close contact with how we behaved in our relationships in order to make a thorough list of those we have harmed. We must face the wrongs we have done without running away from the truth. If we were rigorously honest with ourselves while making the list of people we had harmed, we probably felt one or more of the following feelings: anxiety, shame, discomfort, or guilt. This is exactly what we were suppose to feel. We were learning that we don't have to feel comfortable to be OK. In fact, another hidden reward is that the more willing we are to feel uncomfortable the more comfortable we become. Yes, another paradox! One of the many hidden rewards in working Steps 8,9, and 10 is to stay in close contact with our experience so we can learn from it. This self-understanding is at the heart of self-forgiveness and emotional recovery. --Excerpted from 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends

In addition to staying connected to our support systems and avoiding opportunities to use during the coronavirus pandemic, we can also keep confronting and conquering the self-destructive things we think and do that undercut our health and sanity. Concise advice on hunting down the personal culprits that sabotage sobriety and personal happiness. To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy. In simple, down-to-earth language, Allen Berger explores the twelve most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery. He then provides tools for working through these problems in daily life. This useful guide offers fresh perspectives on how the process of change begins with basic self-awareness and a commitment to working a daily program.

The author of the classic 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery offers a fresh list of "smart" things to do to attain and sustain emotional sobriety. Learn the attitudes and behaviors that are key to attaining and sustaining emotional sobriety and developing a deeper trust in the process of life. Dr. Allen Berger draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer us twelve hallmarks of emotional sobriety. These “right actions” help us develop the confidence to be accountable for our behavior, to practice asking for what we want and need, and to cultivate a deeper trust in the process of life. Dr. Berger’s list of smart things includes understanding who you are and what’s important to you learning not to take others’ reactions personally trusting your inner compass Through practicing these twelve things, we find release from what Bill W. described as an “absolute dependence on people or circumstances. Freed from the emotional immaturity that fueled our addictive personality and hurt ourselves and others, we can develop the tools to find strength from within and continue our successful journey of recovery.

Drop the Rock—The Ripple Effect provides multiple perspectives from people successfully working a Twelve Step Program, showing Step 10 as a key to a sober life free of fear and resentment and filled with serenity and gratitude. When Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects was first published in 1999, it quickly became the standard resource for working Steps 6 and 7, two of the most challenging of the Twelve Steps for many people in recovery. Learning what it means to fully surrender character defects frees you to make amends with Steps 8 and 9, realize the Big Book’s “Promises,” and move on to Step 10. In this new follow-up resource, Fred H. explores what he calls “the ripple effect” that can be created by using Step 10 to practice Steps 6 and 7 every day and avoid picking up “the rock” again. Drawing on his years of lecturing on the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, he reveals Step 10 as the natural culmination of working the previous Steps.

Being of service is essential to staying sober and can add a new level of perspective and gratitude to your life. Learn about the power of Step 12 and how to weave service into your day-to-day. “Nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail.”—Alcoholics Anonymous (the Big Book) The culmination of all of the steps, Step 12 calls on each of us to complete our transformation from a self-centered existence fueled by addiction to one of joy and freedom through service to others. In Walk the Talk with Step 12 Gary K. explores the the history of Step 12 and redefines what it means to practice this critical step in modern times. Through inspiring testimonials, including the author’s own dramatic story as a survivor of 9/11, we learn how a life of service extends far beyond helping other alcoholics and addicts, and reveals the power of such practices as honesty, tolerance, and love in stabilizing and supporting long term recovery. With passion and insight, Gary K. incites each of us—sponsors and sponsees, newcomers and old timers alike—to define our own paths of service and experience the rewards of community and connection.

Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcoming complacency, or taking responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards you may encounter on your path to long-term recovery. This book gives you the tools you need to work through twelve pitfalls that you are likely to encounter on your path to long-term recovery. Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcoming complacency, or take responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards. Recovery from addiction is often compared to a journey where you meet new people, rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit, and learn new things about yourself that give you hope for the future. But like all journeys, there are also pitfalls that can jeopardize your sobriety. With his popular book, 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, Allen Berger has shown many people how to confront self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that can sabotage their sobriety. In this sequel, Allen gives you the tools you need to work through twelve pitfalls that you are likely to encounter on your path to long-term recovery. Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcome complacency, or taking responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards as you make your trek along “the Road of Happy Destiny.”

"With his popular book, 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, Allen Berger has shown many people how to confront self-defeating thoughts and behaviors. With this sequel, you'll gain the tools to work through twelve more hazards on the path to long-term recovery--and you'll meet others who've used these tools, too. Whether you're facing relapse, learning to overcome complacency, or working to take responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will guide you along 'the road of happy destiny'"--Page 4 of cover.

Seasons of the Spirit

Lets face it: In our busy world, people have more than theyve ever had before. But with depression rates at a record high, its evident that somethings missingsomething so profound that we cant live happily without it. Perhaps you feel it. You want something from deep withininner peace, passion, and a life driven by a powerful purpose. Within these pages awaits the unique and simple yet powerful Best-Life Process. It can help you uncover the very things that up to now have felt out of reach. You can have the life you dream of. Inside Your Best Life Yet, youll discover the following: the secret to lasting self-motivation ways to refocus on what it is you really want and receive it gracefully a recipe for releasing your true potential