12 Essential Insights For Emotional Sobriety

Be honest. Few days go by where you don't find your sense of balance thrown off by what someone said about you, how a meeting went, what your social media contacts are doing, how your fortune changed during the day, or your fears about coming events. Most of us face this kind of anxiety, sadness, worry-call it what you will-every day of the week. Most of the times, these things seem minor, but they nibble at us, like so many paper cuts, building up and diminishing our lives.There is a solution, uncovered 70 years ago by Bill Wilson, known around the world as Bill W., a founder of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program of recovery. The solution is a practice called emotional sobriety.The thing is, Bill W.'s discovery is NOT just for people who are recovering from addiction. It's for everyone. Bill W., long in recovery from alcoholism sought a solution for his continued chronic bouts of deep depression. He realized that his long-term problems occurred, in part, because his sense of self, wholeness, and well-being was completely dependent on external events. Yes, his personal value was determined by what happened to him, by how others treated him, and by what others thought of him. If people liked Bill, great. If not, he was knocked out of whack. Bill W. found his solution in the concept of emotional sobriety, essentially the practice of learning not to try to control your emotions but rather to understand and moderate your reactions to them. In 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety, psychotherapist Dr. Allen Berger writes simply to explain and expand on this concept, combining wisdom from 12-step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous with long-accepted psychological principles. Through heart-rending stories of profound change, careful explanation, and thoughtful exercises, Dr. Berger guides you to a calmer place-and a better life.

Did you know there are hidden rewards to making amends? Without a willingness to experience our painful feelings, we can never grow and mature into the person we'd like to be. We can never reach our potential. We can never become our true-self. To grow, we must stay in close contact with our experience, whatever it is. We need to stay in close contact with how we behaved in our relationships in order to make a thorough list of those we have harmed. We must face the wrongs we have done without running away from the truth. If we were rigorously honest with ourselves while making the list of people we had harmed, we probably felt one or more of the following feelings: anxiety, shame, discomfort, or guilt. This is exactly what we were suppose to feel. We were learning that we don't have to feel comfortable to be OK. In fact, another hidden reward is that the more willing we are to feel uncomfortable the more comfortable we become. Yes, another paradox! One of the many hidden rewards in working Steps 8,9, and 10 is to stay in close contact with our experience so we can learn from it. This self-understanding is at the heart of self-forgiveness and emotional recovery. --Excerpted from 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends

How to stop drinking, stay stopped, and develop emotional skills for a life of excitement and connection ... without the hangover. “No thanks—I’m not drinking tonight.” In a culture that equates alcohol with enjoyment and social acceptance, making this simple statement can make us feel like we’re depriving or even punishing ourselves. “When we realize we don’t want to drink anymore or can no longer drink safely, it can feel like the only choices are to spiral out of control or embrace a joyless life,” says psychotherapist and sobriety expert Veronica Valli. “But it’s not true! Sobriety can be a path filled with fun, excitement, belonging, relaxation, and romance.” Soberful offers a practical and straightforward program on how to get sober and stay sober by increasing your self-worth, energy, and participation in life. Valli begins by debunking widespread beliefs about alcohol and sobriety, including the illusion that alcohol itself is the problem. Then she takes you into the heart of her method for building an alcohol-free life that works—the Five Pillars of Sustainable Sobriety: • Movement—Taking care of your body for physical and emotional health • Connection—Using self-compassion as a foundation for creating healthy and authentic relationships • Balance—Learning how to disarm the triggers that make you want to drink • Process—Validating, honoring, and accepting the past to move forward into the future • Growth—How to keep changing, keep learning, and keep choosing to stay sober throughout the journey of your life “When we change how we experience the world, we can stop trying to escape our feelings with alcohol,” Valli says. As a leader and pioneer in the field with 21 years of sobriety, Valli now shares the same steps that worked for her and her clients. Written with gentle humor and compassion, Soberful provides a road map to a life beyond drinking—one that is expansive, fulfilling, and joyously free.

“Take a wonderful journey through and beyond your fear with Thom Rutledge.” — Melody Beattie, author of Choices “An insightful, moving and gracious book!” — John Shelby Spong, author of A New Christianity For A New World “An insightful and clear guide that shows how to turn fear into a powerful resource in our lives.” — Gavin de Becker, best-selling author of THE GIFT OF FEAR and FEAR LESS

Guides those in recovery in developing the awareness and skills to deal with life's issues by practicing authentic spirituality and emotional sobriety. Spirituality is a critical aspect of the Twelve Steps and other recovery programs. Yet, for those of us disposed to addiction, it can be easy to get so caught up in the idea of our Higher Power and the abundant joys of a spiritual life that we experience "spiritual bypass"--the use of spirituality to avoid dealing with ourselves, our emotions, and our unfinished business.In Recovering Spirituality, researcher and clinical psychologist Ingrid Mathieu uses personal stories and practical advice to teach us how to grow up emotionally and take responsibility for ourselves. Without turning away from the true benefits of an active spiritual program, she shows us how to work through life's challenges and periods of pain while evolving and maintaining an authentic relationship with our Higher Power.

Picking up right at the point where Janet Woititz’s 1990 hit book Adult Children of Alcoholics left off, clinical psychologist Tian Dayton’s latest contribution contains fresh perspectives and new analysis on how to gain back emotional stability after growing up with the trauma of addiction, abuse, and dysfunction. Dr. Dayton accomplishes this by presenting and explaining the latest research in neuropsychology and the role trauma plays on chemically altering the brain. With compassion and clear explanations and her own personal journey, Dayton teaches readers how to undo the neuropsychological damage of trauma to rewire the brain and reverse the negative effects trauma has on our future relationships and behaviors to gain emotional sobriety. In Emotional Sobriety, Dr. Dayton teaches readers: How to understand the mind/body relationship of addiction and relationship trauma How to rewire your brain to undo the negative effects trauma has on personal, career, and romantic relationships How changing the way one lives and perceives adult relationships can change the way one thinks and feels and vice versa

A 75th anniversary e-book version of the most important and practical self-help book ever written, Alcoholics Anonymous. Here is a special deluxe edition of a book that has changed millions of lives and launched the modern recovery movement: Alcoholics Anonymous. This edition not only reproduces the original 1939 text of Alcoholics Anonymous, but as a special bonus features the complete 1941 Saturday Evening Post article “Alcoholics Anonymous” by journalist Jack Alexander, which, at the time, did as much as the book itself to introduce millions of seekers to AA’s program. Alcoholics Anonymous has touched and transformed myriad lives, and finally appears in a volume that honors its posterity and impact.

Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcoming complacency, or taking responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards you may encounter on your path to long-term recovery. This book gives you the tools you need to work through twelve pitfalls that you are likely to encounter on your path to long-term recovery. Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcoming complacency, or take responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards. Recovery from addiction is often compared to a journey where you meet new people, rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit, and learn new things about yourself that give you hope for the future. But like all journeys, there are also pitfalls that can jeopardize your sobriety. With his popular book, 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, Allen Berger has shown many people how to confront self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that can sabotage their sobriety. In this sequel, Allen gives you the tools you need to work through twelve pitfalls that you are likely to encounter on your path to long-term recovery. Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcome complacency, or taking responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards as you make your trek along “the Road of Happy Destiny.”

Use your Enneagram personality type combined with Twelve Step principles for expanded spiritual growth. If addiction to your ego has you stuck in old thinking and behavioral ruts, The Enneagram for Recovery maps out personalized shortcuts toward your best life and relationships-using straightforward, even humorous examples taken from the rooms of recovery.