1001 Insults Put Downs Comebacks

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”—Groucho Marx An insult can be offensive and infuriating, but it means nothing if you have a better comeback. 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, and Comebacks gathers together the very sharpest of these barbs from a wide variety of sources, with some of the wickedest put-downs from the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, along with many others.

Craft the ultimate comeback in seconds flat with Perfect Insults, your clean guide to all things insulting. Craft the ultimate comeback in seconds flat with Perfect Insults, your clean guide to all things insulting. Drag your enemies with eloquence with insults like the classic “Son of a Nutcracker” to the masterful “You’d struggle to pour water out of a book with instructions on the heel.” Learn the art of insulting your adversaries without a single curse word with hundreds of premade comebacks at the turn of a page, so you’ll never find yourself rehearsing what you should have said later. Packed with humorous, clean insults for all ages, this book is sure to be a hit!

The 'Lines For All Occasions' series provides a superb collection of these much needed phrases for all manner of breakup, rejection, excuse, lie, come-on, or insult situations - ranging from the diplomatic to the downright bridge burning.

Here are a thousand and one laugh-out-loud quotes, quips and jokes, all in one packed volume. From politicians to sports legends, Hollywood stars to Miss USA contestants, comedians are not the only ones tickling our funny bones and showing us the lighter side of life. *Great impulse buy*The 1001 Series books are Lyons Press bestsellers Steven D. Price, a consulting editor of The Lyons Press, is the author of thirty books including 1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said, 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, and Comebacks, The Best Advice Ever Given, and The Quotable Horse Lover.

The most clever, sidesplitting collection of lawyer jokes . . . bar...

A nasty insult (is there any other kind?) can be offensive and infuriating, but we’ve all had those moments when we’ve employed one or just wished we had come up with the perfect nasty thing to say. Even better, having the perfect comeback to one of these rude remarks brings us all the personal satisfaction in the world. The Nastiest Things Ever Said gathers together the very sharpest of these barbs from a wide variety of sources with some of the wickedest put-downs from the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, and everywhere else people say nasty things to each other.

A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.

Making sensible decisions during a time of grief is never easy. Losing a husband, wife, father, mother, child or another near and dear person forces you to make a multitude of decisions, some large and life-changing, some small but emotionally charged. And if substantial amounts of money or conflicting wishes of friends and relatives are involved, making arrangements can become overwhelming. More Than Sympathy is designed to help you through these difficult circumstances. It covers: - Preliminary formalities, such as securing the residence and valuables immediately following the loved one’s death - Selecting the funeral home - Planning the funeral or memorial service, including suggestions for eulogies - Grief counseling and therapy - Probating the Will or administering an intestate estate - Survivor benefits, pensions, and other financial and tax consequences - Estate planning to avoid probate and other estate issues through gifts, trusts, and other instruments - And more Drawing from the counsel of funeral directors, clergy, attorneys, estate planners, and psychologists and with references to websites and other sources of further information, More Than Sympathy provides straightforward and reassuring advice that is both practical and comforting at this difficult time.

Construct your own smoking devices—from simple to elaborate—with easily obtained materials. Includes bonus instructions for making your own vaporizer! The first book ever to feature detailed directions for bongs, pipes, hookahs, and more, Build This Bong brings both the classics and entirely original showstoppers to the home workshop. Projects of all sorts—from a standard gravity bong to a rubber ducky hookah and a state-of-the art vaporizer—come to life with Popular Mechanics-inspired illustrations and simple instructions. No fancy materials necessary: handyman Randy Stratton shows how to construct everything from common household goods. Build This Bong’s forty inventive projects—made from melons, coconuts, snow-globes, teapots, and more—are sure to be a big, mind-blowing hit.

Dark humor about those who have removed themselves from the gene pool. An original and irreverent compendium of accidental deaths caused by astonishing stupidity, embarrassing irony and/or really bad luck, in the tradition of The Darwin Awards.